Slap Her... She's French

"We're all capable of doing bad things. Lord knows I've done my share. Things I'm truly ashamed of. But should my life, so young and full of sweet promise, be tragically cut before it ever had a chance to shine? If I ever get out of here, as God is my witness, somebody's gonna pay. Or, as the great German philosopher Freddy Nitsche once said, 'that which does not kill us is gonna wish it had, because we're about to Fed-ex its sorry ass back to Skank Central where it came from.' Or something like that."

"It doesn't get better than this. If only I had seen the writing on the wall...I just didn't know it was in French."

"Oh yeah, and don't get me started on monsieur LeDuke—Mister 'I'm married but teenage girls make me pop my jimmy in my fruit de looms.'"

"[in a french exam] j'ai une bouche comme dix doigts et dix doigts comme une bouche..."

"Whatcha reading? [Randolph shows her a copy of 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' by Philip K. Dick] Oh, I like Dicks. haha"

"I'm going to get you, Kermit, you're going down!"

"She went through this whole catholic thing—kissing my knees and calling herself a whore. It was like Taxicab Confessions."

"You messed with the wrong cooze, flooze. Get ready to par-tee!"

"I didn't find her she found me, WHO IS SHE?"

"[After slapping her boyfriend] You are so fired as my boyfriend!"

"[After slapping Kyle and Genevieve in different scenes at the Newscaster of the Year contest] Slapping people is fun."

"Oh, Kyle, bonjour. I was just watching Starla. She really knows how to spread her legs... uh... to kick."

"Bonjour, y'all."

"Enjoy it while you can, Cupcake, before time and gravity do their dirty work."

"No French People Were Harmed In The Making Of This Film."

"Bonjour, y'all"

"Miss Perfect is about to meet her match."

"A high school comedy with a French twist"

"Jane McGregor - Starla Grady"

"Piper Perabo - Genevieve LePlouff"

"Trent Ford - Ed Mitchell"

"Alexandra Adi - Ashley Lopez"

"Nicki Aycox - Tanner Jennings"

"Jesse James - Randolph Grady"

"Julie Whitee - Bootsie Grady"

"Brandon Smith - Arnie Grady"

"Matt Czuchry - Kyle Fuller"

"Christen Coppen - Doreen Gilmore"

"Haley Ramm - young Starla Grady (uncredited)"

"Amy Bradford - French airplane passenger (uncredited)"

"Ashley Blake - Megan"

"Laura Halvorson - Beef Band fiddle player"