Road Trip

"[attempts to convince the snake to eat a mouse] Unleash the fury!"

"[singing] Tiny salmon swimming in a stream / Tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream / The mynah bird says, "Caw. Ca-Caw" / The chimpanzee says, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" / The friendly owl says, "Hoo, hoo-hoo" / But the salmon can only say, "Bloobloobloobloo. Blooboloobloobloo. Blooboloobolooooo-Blooblooo-Bloobloobloo." / And it's sad."

"Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?"

"You're already cheating! Anytime you pass up sex, you're cheating on yourself. Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day."

"Yep. I'd give us about 20 minutes before our first ass-raping."

"Did you kill a cheetah?"

"Hey, it's 10 feet. Bob Hope could jump this in his golf cart. See, watch, I can spit across it."

"Did I say two fingers? Better make that three."

"Barry, hit the lights. It's boner time!"

"Corky the Dog: Hey, Old man... I got the fuckin' munchies real bad... what about you?"

"Grandpa Manilow: You gonna pass that doobie?"

"Jacob: [Text on his T-shirt] "God is awesome.""

"Beth: Are there any guys out there who are JUST NORMAL?"

"Rubin: It's supposed to be a challenge, it's a shortcut! If it were easy it would just be the way."

"Corky the Dog: Hey, Jack, have that bitch make me some blueberry pancakes... Right now."

"Breckin Meyer — Josh Parker"

"Seann William Scott — E.L."

"Amy Smart — Beth Wagner"

"Paulo Costanzo — Rubin Carver"

"DJ Qualls — Kyle Edwards"

"Tom Green — Barry Manilow"

"Frank Welker — Acrocanthosaurus"