Rat (film)

"Seventy years ago, me grandfather, Hubert Flynn Foster, set out from his home in the County Wexford, and joining north over the hills and valleys of Whitlock, until he came to Dublin City. I remember once, when I was a chiseler, he caught me widdlin' up against the wall. And he told me if I behaved like a dog, I might turn into a dog. And then he was off on one of his old yarns about people he knew that turned into goats and weasels. Of course we ran afoul, he said, of more than his prayers. But sometimes, in and among the ramblings, there'd be a grain of truth."

"You know, I think I like the black rats best of all. They have this wonderful sense of rhythm."

"He was just in from the pub, lying down with a paper, as was his wont, picking out the horses for tomorrow. And I was goin' 'round the room, and collectin' up the dirty clothes, and making a few gentle remarks on the subject of personal hygiene. And he was lying there, lettin' on like he didn't hear me. So I was quietly rippin' the newspaper out of his hands, in order to gain his attention, when..."

"There's nothin' worse than a drowned rat in the toilet, whether it's a close relation or not."

"A rat is not particular where he dies, Conchita. The animal you have in mind is the elephant."

"What you've got to appreciate is that turnin' into a rat causes severe contraction of the ecephalogical muscles, and blockage of the nuerolaptical tubes."

"Mr. Reilly: A plum pudding is for Christmas, but a rat is for life."

"Father Geraldo: Nothin' vexes me more than to give a man the last rites, and then he doesn't die at all."

"He might eat maggots and live in a cage but he's still our Dad."

"From the Director of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Coneheads."

"Imelda Staunton - Conchita Flynn"

"Frank Kelly - Uncle Matt"

"David Wilmot - Phelim Spratt"

"Pete Postlethwaite - Hubert Flynn"

"Ed Byrne - Rudolph"

"Geoffrey Palmer - The Doctor"

"Kerry Condon - Marietta Flynn"

"Andrew Lovern - Pius Flynn"

"Niall Toibin - Father Geraldo"

"Veronica Duffy - Daisy Farrdell"

"Alfie - Mickey the Dog"

"Peter Caffrey - Mick the Barman"

"Rita Hamill - Estate Woman"

"Roxanna Williams - Hopscotch Girl"

"Stanley Townsend - Newsreader"

"Simon Delaney - Bookies Manager"

"Niall O'Brien - Man in Bookies"