Office Christmas Party

"[to the Russian thug whom Carol has pinned against the pool table] You do not want to die at the hands of Lululemon here. It'd be real embarrassing. You're a large guy, and she's made of nothing but salad and Smartwater."

"I gotta tell you, I was always like, "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," and she was like, "Words, words, words and some numbers." But she did it."

"Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me!"

"Hey, God. I know I haven't asked for a lot in this life. Granted, I was born rich... and white... and a man... and straight. Well, except for that one time in Vegas, but that was Vegas."

"Jason Bateman - Josh Parker"

"Olivia Munn - Tracey Hughes"

"T. J. Miller - Clay Vanstone"

"Jennifer Aniston - Carol Vanstone"

"Kate McKinnon - Mary Winetoss"

"Jillian Bell - Trina"

"Courtney B. Vance - Walter Davis"

"Vanessa Bayer - Allison Parker"

"Rob Corddry - Jeremy Parker"

"Karan Soni - Nate Winetoss"

"Sam Richardson - Joel"

"Randall Park - Fred"

"Abbey Lee - Savannah"

"Jamie Chung - Meghan"

"Da'Vine Joy Randolph - Carla"

"Fortune Feimster - Lonny"

"Matt Walsh - Ezra"

"Ben Falcone - Doctor"

"Chloe Wepper - Kelsey"

"Oliver Cooper - Drew"

"Adrian Martinez - Larry"

"Erick Chavarria - Alan"

"Andrew Leeds - Tim"

"Jimmy Butler - himself"

"Michael Tourek - Alexei"