Nicole Malachowski

"“You’re having to navigate a system that doesn’t believe you, doesn’t support you, and honestly has not much right now to offer you in terms of care.”"

"“When I was a fighter pilot, when we would go into combat, which in a lot of ways is what we are in against this disease and the medical system that doesn’t support us,” she said. “I would say to my wingman before we would launch, “No matter what, be a help, not a hindrance. Ask yourself, is what I’m about to say or do going to be helpful? Or is it going to be a hindrance?”"

"Everything that she needed to be a good fighter pilot, such as discipline, focus, commitment, determination, and confidence are the traits and the characteristics she needed to survive the worst depths of her illness and to thrive today, even though she still lives with chronic symptoms."

"All of those characteristics and traits apply to every single patient. You all should be proud of yourselves. It has been harder to be a tick-borne illness patient than it ever was to fly in combat. I found the Lyme disease community to be as courageous and even more so, in some cases, as honorable and noble as the fighter pilots and the men and women that I went to war with,”"

"Despite the suffering, there are a lot of great things going on in the tick-borne illness community. “I have seen the momentum in the last three to five years accelerating at a pace that I could have never imagined. Look at the scientists, the doctors, the clinicians, the nonprofit leaders, the advocates who are out there making a difference. We are so close, I think, in my lifetime, to this tipping point. This is something we should all be excited about, and this is something that gives me hope.”"

"“Yielding is not about quitting, weakly surrendering, or giving up. “In my mind, yielding is all about accepting the present moment.”"

"“I used to think my destiny/legacy lay in having been an officer and fighter pilot,”"

"The severe illness taught me that being a fighter pilot gave me the skills and traits I needed to survive my illness and turn to my new mission of advocating for others.”"

"“It’s ok to reminisce about the past, but not ruminate about it."

"“The runway behind you is always unusable; all we ever have is the runway in front of us.”"

"“Only you have the power to reinvent yourself and write your own story,” she insists. “When the unexpected happens, are you asking yourself the right questions?”"

""You know, whether we like it or not sometimes when you’re a first, you end up speaking on behalf of the group and that can be hard and that can be complex and gnarly but somebody has to go first,""And you definitely want to do it in a way that creates more opportunity for the people that follow."

"I now know that your job shouldn’t be your identity. Boom, I go from this elite, high-performing person, physically and mentally, to just being completely broken overnight. I’m this independent confident type A fighter pilot, and now I can’t even go to the restroom by myself or bathe by myself—overnight,”"

"Blue skies and tailwinds are the best weather you can get,”"

"“thumb|Capt. Nicole Malachowski, F-15E female pilot, looks over checklists before flying a sortie 1763646018unnecessary controversy, the unnecessary stigma, and the outright mocking of patients that makes it hard for other people to be courageous on your behalf.”"

"This disease stops you from being as reliable and dependable on follow through as you can be. There’s compassion fatigue.”"

"People like you don’t become Thunderbird pilots.”"

"“It was the unconscious bias,” she said. “What was coming out were the cultural paradigms of the U.S. Air Force at that time, and the expectations about what I should or should not be doing. I removed that application and said, ‘You’re right, I’m so sorry for bothering you.’”"

"thumb|050623-F-9032T-014 Capt. Nicole Malachowski, female fighter pilot from LAKENHEATH pose in front of her F-15E Strike EagleYou build trust by being trustworthy,” “Avoid the idea of, ‘That guy needs to prove I can trust him.’ Trust never comes to you; trust emanates outward to a team from your behaviors.”"

"That phrase means everything”, “It is the gentleman’s handshake. It means: We have an expectation of the professional execution of this mission. I promise you I will hold myself accountable to that standard, and you will hold me to that standard. That wingman contract is the culture. It’s the principles and values that drive you.”"

"The Thunderbirds taught me nothing of significance is ever accomplished alone,” she says, recounting the time she tried and failed, multiple times, to master an extremely difficult air show maneuver requiring the jets to move from diamond formation into trail formation, putting the wing tips within inches of one another. Ultimately, getting it right required her to take a deep breath and admit to her teammates: “I need help.”"

"What happened is, we did it over and over until I got it right. It was the right thing to do by our customer and client [the audience on the ground]. My teammates helped me from a place of kindness and commitment,” she says. “It’s never beneath any of us to offer help, too.”"

"Well, we don’t have Lyme disease in North Carolina, so it must be a spider bite.” Nicole surmised, “That was the day my life changed forever. That was the day I became chronically ill.”"

"You have been a high-performing woman in a male-dominated career field for many years. Maybe this is your body’s way of saying it’s time to retire.”"

"I didn’t know what the word gaslighting meant prior to becoming a tick-borne illness patient, but I know what it is now. I found that I was treated more seriously, and more respectfully, and with dignity every time I brought somebody with me.”"

"For four years, it had been multiplying, getting worse, getting further into the central nervous system. From the time of that first rash to the time of my accurate diagnosis and beginning treatment, 1,525 days had passed, more than 24 doctors across eight specialties were seen, and three misdiagnoses were made along the way.”"

"“During that two-year period, I was unable to interact with my children who were between the ages of five and seven, and I lost my career. The Air Force medically retired me.”"