Miss Congeniality

"I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!"

"Look, she's gonna cry again. [imitating winner] 'Oh, if I only had a brain."'"

"Hey! I'm GLIDING here!"

"I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap."

"There are no words."

"Eyebrows. There should be TWO."

"Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown."

"[to Gracie] If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced."

"Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover."

"She's Got A Killer To Catch... Right After The Swimsuit Competition."

"Never Mess With An Agent In A Dress."

"Sandra Bullock - Gracie Hart"

"Michael Caine - Victor Melling"

"Benjamin Bratt - Eric Matthews"

"Candice Bergen - Cathy Morningside"

"Ernie Hudson - FBI Asst. Director Harry McDonald"

"William Shatner - Stan Fields"

"Heather Burns - Cheryl Frasier, Miss Rhode Island"