Michael Palin

"There are many ways of seeing the world. You can hang upside down from a meteor, volunteer to be the fourth stage of a three-stage rocket, or simply get in a balloon and keep going. But if it's sheer, unadulterated discomfort you're looking for, just stay on land."

"I wish them a long and happy life. If it's as long as their wedding, I'm sure they'll be fine."

"The use of the word "just" by an Australian means that whatever it is you have to do, it will not be easy, as in "Just pull that sword out of the stone" or "Just split that atom.""

"One of the difficult things of so much travelling is to say goodbye."

"Contrary to what the politicians and religious leaders would like us to believe, the world won't be made safer by creating barriers between people. Cries of “They’re evil, let’s get ‘em” or “The infidels must die” sound frightening, but they're desperately empty of argument and understanding. They're the rallying cries of prejudice, the call to arms of those who find it easier to hate than admit they might be not be right about everything. Armageddon is not around the corner. This is only what the people of violence want us to believe. The complexity and diversity of the world is the hope for the future."

"Tomkinson: What are these? Mother: Shoe trees, dear..."

"It's not a model if it's full-size. It's a ice-breaker!"

"I've got a false lip."

"Nuns with banners!"