Love Happy

"I am the same Sam Grunion who solved the international uranium-mining swindle. Scotland Yard was baffled; the FBI was baffled. They sent for me and the case was solved immediately: I confessed."

"Here's another Broadway hopeful: Faustino the Great. For 20 years he was an organ grinder with a monkey. Then one day the monkey went on strike. He wanted shorter hours and longer bananas."

"Mackinaw, you know I have a full record of the case, and tonight at the opening of the play you MAY have the solution, but when the curtain rises, Madam Egelichi will be in the front box, and sitting next to her will be Count B'ullabaisse - but if you take away the count's silk hat, his opera cloak and his full dress suit you'll have ME, shivering in my underwear."

"Hey, that's not my suit you're pulling."

"[to Madam Egelichi] Oh, no. I'm not gonna follow you and get shot. If I was half-shot I'd follow you."

"Look-a, Mr. Lyons, I know you wanna make a good impression, but-a please - don't play better than me."

"New Musical Girlesque!!!"

"Harpo Marx — Harpo"

"Chico Marx — Faustino the Great"

"Groucho Marx — Detective Sam Grunion"

"Vera-Ellen — Maggie Phillips"

"Ilona Massey — Madame Egelichi"

"Marion Hutton — Bunny Dolan"

"Paul Valentine — Mike Johnson"

"Raymond Burr — Alphonse Zoto"

"Bruce Gordon — Hannibal Zoto"

"Melville Cooper — Lefty Throckmorton"

"Leon Belasco — Mr. Lyons"

"Marilyn Monroe — Grunion's Client"

"Eric Blore — Mackinaw"