Lesbian Vampire Killers

"Margarita Hall - (Daughter of darkness)"

"Maybe it's just... that I don't like kids, y'know."

"(about Jimmy's hiking idea) That... is one of the shittiest ideas for a holiday I have ever heard!"

"So... what're five beautiful girls like you doing out on a night like this?"

"These girls are going to the exact same place we are going!"

"(after the final battle) Completely fucking unbelivable!"

"Did you punch a girl?"

"Let's go hiking."

"{to Trudi) That doesn't even make the slighest bit of sense!"

"(after Fletch destroys his phone)What was that for?"

"She has a pure spirit."

"(when the lesbian vampires are hovering at the door) So, all we need to do really is sit tight and wait 'til morning. I mean, it's not like we're going to say Hey, lesbian vampires, come into our cottage, is it? (realizes what he's done has invited them inside) Ah, shit."

"If you strike me down, you shall bring about a curse to your daughters, and your daughters' daughters! And when I am struck down I shall rise again, more powerful than you can ever imagine!"

"McLadden..."

"We are gathered here, under the light of the red Moon."

"It is time."

"Jimmy: I have an idea."

"Fletch: Does it involve girls?"

"Jimmy: An idea."

"Jimmy: Let's go hiking!"

"Fletch: (bursts out laughing:) THAT... is one of the most depressingly shittiest ideas for a holiday I have ever heard!"

"Narrator: At the dawn of the Roman era, our hamlet was beseiged by a beast. A creature from the deepest pits of Hades, born of the hatred of men, and the lust for women. Its name, Carmilla."

"Fletch: (goes up to look) How do you pronounce that? Crags-wich? Crag-wich?"

"Jimmy: I'll tell you what it is, it's called an A-D-V-N-T-U-R-E, my friend."

"Lotte: Do you like Carmilla?"

"Jimmy: Uh, I dunno. Is that who it is?"

"Lotte: Yes, Carmilla, the Vampire Queen."

"Jimmy: Vampire Queen?"

"Lotte: Yes, but according to beliefs she's much more than your average vampire. She's rumoured to be over two thousand years old."

"Jimmy: So you believe in all that Dungeons & Dragons jumbo?"

"Lotte: Oh, my family were very superstitious."

"James Corden - Fletch"

"Mathew Horne - Jimmy"

"Paul McGann - The Vicar"

"Emer Kenny - Rebecca (The Vicar's Daughter)"

"Lucy Gaskell - Judi"

"Louise Dylan - Anke"

"Ashley Mulheron - Trudi"

"The name's Fletch."

"Vera Filatova - Eva"

"Silvia Colloca - Camilla"

"MyAnna Buring - Lotte"

"Emma Clifford - Ms. Rossi"

"Tiffany Mulheron - Heidi"