Julian Rhind-Tutt

"I’d like to tell you that I come from a long line of German aristocracy and that I’m very rich, but actually it’s a very boring explanation. A man called Tommy Tutt married a lady called Jane Rhind, and suddenly I’ve got a very posh name. And then my parents called me Julian, and suddenly I sound like a prospective Tory MP for West London!"

"Yes. I think it’s just because I forgot to cut it, and it’s a slightly different colour, so it’s an object of affection or ridicule, depending on whether you’re Steve Mangan or anybody else on the planet. I think your shaved version is very distinguished, incidentally. I wish I could carry it off. Unfortunately all you’d find under here is the FA Cup. My ears are shocking. They can get satellite TV."