Joyce Grenfell

"Stately as a galleon, I sail across the floor, Doing the military two-step, as in the days of yore."

"They look quite promising in the shop, and not entirely without hope when I get them back into my wardrobe. But then, when I put them on they tend to deteriorate with a very strange rapidity and one feels sorry for them."

"Progress everywhere today does seem to come so very heavily disguised as chaos."

"If I should go before the rest of you, Break not a flower, nor inscribe a stone, Nor, when I’m gone, speak in a Sunday voice, But be the usual selves That I have known."

"I don't understand Ethel. I don't, I don't really. She's one of my very best friends, Just about the best, nearly. She's an awfully nice girl, Ethel is, Dainty and refined, I mean she'd never do or say Anything unkind. But get her inside a stadium And she seems to go out of her mind."

"I was allowed to slave for them For ever and evermore. Oh, I was allowed to fetch and carry For my Three Brothers, Jim and Bob and Harry."

"George - don't do that."

"Nobody is safe. Deviate by a hair's-breadth from normal behaviour in her presence and you become a specimen in her collection. She has the ear to record every nuance of vour talk and the tongue to reproduce it."