Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

"Beware of God."

"Johnny: (After smashing a sledgehammer into Jimmy's open torso)"I don't like myself much.""

"For, despite the forgiveable ignorance of youth, you are also, likely, being raised by imbeciles, poorly prepared for parenthood, capable only of perpetuating their genetic flaws. What tragedy it is to be just smart enough to know you are doomed to painful idiocy."

"This is Heaven. You can stop praying now."

"Hah! No, it won't hurt at all, though some people say it is the most excruciating thing they've ever known. Your hair might fall out."

"Jimmy: "We could work together. I'm just like you!""

"Do you not see how superior I am? Hear me, and evolve."

"I have seen the light, and it is me."

"I am laughing at his funny-ness."

"Someone get this churrito out of my ass!!"

"The Devil: "Yeah, okay.""

"Hey!! Move it!! Every place I have to be is important!!"

"Jimmy: "I can't leave!!!""

"No! This is wrong. You...you're supposed to teach me!"

"You dare revel in this hideous beast you have spawned, so bloated with countless wicked futures!! Blinded morons, for all you know, this child of yours may be a vessel for Satan!!"

"How I envy those blessed with a stunning ignorance of the truth. (sigh) Oh... to be truly happy! To be an imbecile!"

"Agonizing is the pain of knowledge. Acknowledge my genius and make it more bearable."

"There is no worse enemy than the one incapable of knowing why they may be wrong."

"MY EYES!! I CAN’T SEE MY EYES!!"

"Tess: "You're a real asshole, you know that?""

"Don't make me try to come up with an original curse!!"

""Not... grasping. She speaks of my manliness, but in... what... a negative way? Confusion!"

"HEY!! I'm BLISSING over here!!"

"Johnny: "Will "Mr. Satan" do?""

"There is such amusement in seeing the joy in someone when they think they have just gotten smarter."

"Know that, for all its troubles, the world is perfect. Flawless in its beauties and turmoils. Violence and nightmares being a natural product of humanity."

"I’m so depressed. I wish I could kill myself again."

"Excuse me, but I don't seem to have enough cream cheese to cover both halves of my bagel."

"Johnny: "I could arrange for that to be true. But at the moment your legs are still attached to your body. Take advantage of that now.""

"You work with the living canvas, whose ephemeral beauty is realized at that tiny moment at which the life has truly been extinguished from it's shell."

"Remember, dog, beauty is ephemeral, pain is forever."

"If you actually believe your true intelligence is determined by some standardized system, well, then you can't be THAT smart. The ability to quote memorized information is hardly worth such joy."

"Cursed with an abnormally vast perception of this cruel reality. Trudging through levels of intense emotion no small minded creature could withstand!! So it is no surprise that, most of all, there is pain in superiority. I suffer..."sob"...because I am better."

"I never asked to be this superior being."

"Your pathetic delusion flatters me!! How open you are in exposing your defective and easily misled mind."

"Indeed! The toenail that is your brain is hungry!!"

"Ooh. I believe in pain by whatever name you wish to disguise it under. So, yesss!! I DO believe in love!!"

"I would insult your intelligence, but what would be the point?"

"Because, and I mean no offense by this, I would like to go."

"I CAN'T SEE THE BACK OF MY HEAD!!"

"Krik: "Shiit! It feels like we've been running around for HOURS. Let's rest for a minute.""

"Tess: "Okayy!! And, hey, let's also thrust our thumbs deep into our EYE-SOCKETS!! WHEEEE!! C'mon, how stupid are you!?""

"So he's shaking and whining that he only wanted a BrainFreezy and didn't want to be bothered. Just like a little girl. We pushed him around some more, for a few more minutes. And then, and I swear this happened. I SWEAR... he shot LAZER BEAMS from his EYES!!!"

"You're not here because that guy is some psychotic, raving, Neo-Nazi NERD!! You're here because you're a small-minded ass-tick!!!"

"Tess: "I can't believe this. I'm escaping a house full of assholes so I can live in a world where they're NOT in chains.""

"Krik: "Fuck you!""

"OOOOH, SORREEEE!! I only created THE UNIVERSE!!! You’re right, I should be out running LAPS."

"Understand that these people are not catatonic, they can get up and do as they please. In fact, they all have powers. Highly destructive weapons of the mind. But there is no desire to use them - either out of respect or out of fear of retaliation. Here, the futility and stupidity of aggression is understood."

"The Devil: "You will adress me by my proper, distinguished title - Senor Diablo.""

"Please, somebody rescue me from this hell of inferiority!! I deserve better than to have to endure the stupidity of those who do not share my interests in music!!"