Ivan Vasilievich Changes Profession

"If you were my wife, I'd hang myself."

"What, have you been released from the madhouse yet?"

"I can imagine what will happen now! Just not a scandal. These scandals are so tiring. I got divorced three times. Well, yes, three. I don't count Zyuzin. And I've never been so worried."

"However, this is strange. This is the first time in my life. They tell him that his wife is leaving him, and he says, “Well, well, well, well, well, well, well”! It's even kinda impolite."

"However, I am amazed at your calmness. And if you know, Shurik, I’m even tempted to start a scandal."

"(was able to get out of the elevator by signing the door with the Sign of the Cross) That's what the Life-giving Cross does!"

"Oh don't lie! Oh don't lie, thou art lying to the Tsar! Not by human desire, but by Divine will, I am Tsar!"

"Why didst thou hurt the boyarina, thou lowly man?!"

"I confess that, at least not of my own free will, but under the compulsion of Prince Miloslavsky, I was temporarily the acting Tsar."

"Ulyana Andreevna, I reigned, but not cheated on you! They tempted me with the Tsarina, but I did not succumb! I swear!"

"(to Bunsha) And you will be cured! (to Ivan the Terrible) And you will be cured! And I will be cured! (Quoted in search of a way out of a stupid situation)"

"The army has rebelled! They say the Tsar is not genuine!"

"(having got into a richly furnished Shpak's apartment) Well, this time I successfully entered!"

"(finding a wad of cash) Citizens! Keep your money in a savings bank! if you have it, of course."

"I've seen the wonders of technology... but this...!"

"(to Bunsha) Why are you looking at me like that, dear Sir? There are no patterns nor growing flowers on me."

"(apart) Well, he is looking. (to Bunsha) You will make a hole on me!"

"(to Bunsha who tries call police) I said: han' up! Han' up!!! I smash you, you hat!"

"I am an actor of Big and Small academic theaters. And my name... My name is too famous to be called!"

"(to Tsar-Bunsha) Dear autocrat, we are lost."