Escape From Planet Earth

"Time to watch your old man bring in the Supernova 9 for a landing."

"[hitting the bars with a coffee mug] You can't do this! I know my rights!"

"[referring to Scorch] There's only 1 creature in the universe that snores that loud."

"Let's get outta here."

"[to Scorch, who is frozen] I don't know if you can hear me, but...I'm sorry. [sighs] My plan was to get you out of here, not end up frozen beside you. [valves open to release a purple fluid flooding the tube] I failed you. I failed my family. All the planning in the world doesn't amount to anything without a hero to make it happen. [liquid rises] I tried, brother! I'm sorry! [inhales deeply, temperature drops to 0] Scorch... [he is frozen]"

"I thought I told you, we come in PEACE! [punches Shanker]"

"[repeated line] Scorch me, baby!"

"The Dark Planet. It's heroic, even for me. No-one has ever come back alive. [smiles for the camera]"

"I saved millions of innocent aliens 'cause that's what heroes do. You failed at your evil plans 'cause that's what villains do. And this crumb got stuck on my face 'cause that's what crumbs do."

"Hey, Gary, check it out! The freezing wore off! [his arm gets frozen] AW, C'MON!!!"

"Blubonium, 10000 times more powerful than atomic energy."

"You can whine till you're blue in the face, but I call the shots around here."

"My old friend, . Not back for another 50 years. So...who's gonna miss it?"

"Report to the Peace Shield on the double."

"[last lines] You're gonna pay for this."

"[repeated line] Pleased to meet you."

"[about Shanker] His quiet anger is even angrier than his loud one."

"Quiet! I need to concentrate. My 3rd eye, it's messing me up. I can't do it!"

"[seeing the Blubonium pulsating] Uh, Gary, is that normal?"

"That's Gary's planet!"

"There's only 1 way outta here: invent enough cool stuff and Shanker lets you go. That's how works. [montage begins] He lures the smartest aliens from across the universe and throws us in jail. Take Thurman. He was a professor. Those 4 hands invented technology. Or Io. She used to be a librarian. She got so mad lookin' stuff up for people that she invented the . And most importantly, me. After my radio show got famous, I invented . I've got 5 billion pending friend requests. That's how Shanker bankrolls this place: he rips off our technology and sells it to the world. He's got deals with everybody! , , them guys. You think you could build this stuff? I don't think so. Who do you think invented the ? ? ? [montage ends] We did!"

"Those are the Grays. No-one knows what Shanker's got on 'em, but they do his bidding. So don't get on their bad side, understand?"

"We have lots of alien delicacies. Blorm, phrebbish, zumft, diet zumft, free-range zumft, non-dairy gluten-free zumft, and if you're looking for somethin' a bit more refined, we got fresh plarbe."

"Ooh... I told these guys "You'd better not food fight!", but they did. [Shanker glares at him] I'mma sweep this up."

"Ahem! Excuse me, sir. [Shanker turns around] Sorry to interrupt. [nervously approaches] Just wondering approximately what time you'll be sending us home."

"You can't beat the weather."

"[dancing] Get down with your bad self!"

"What about the program? [Doc: Forget the program!] [Doc slaps her in the face] AH!"

"[gasps in terror] INCOMING!!!"

"Kip: Supernova 9, you are go for remote assistance!"

"Lena: You were the one who wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. So why don't you stay at home and let me do my job?"

"Plarbe: [during the food fight] People, people, where are your manners?"

"Earth's greatest secret's are about to break out!"

"Rob Corddry — Gary"

"Brendan Fraser — Scorch"

"Sarah Jessica Parker — Kira"

"William Shatner — General Shanker"

"Jessica Alba — Lena"

"Jane Lynch — Io"

"Craig Robinson — Doc"

"George Lopez — Thurman"

"Sofia Vergara — Gabby"

"Steve Zahn — Hawk"

"Chris Parnell — Hammer"

"Jonathan Morgan Heit — Kip"

"Ricky Gervais — Mr. James Bing"