Dracula: Dead and Loving It

"[a bat poops on the stairs] Children of the night... what a mess they make!"

"[waking up from a bad dream] Oh, it's night-time. I was having... a daymare."

"[after rising from his coffin and hitting his head on a chandelier] I must move the coffin. [pause] Or the chandelier."

"[his last line] Renfield, you asshole!"

"[in a dream, at a picnic] I'm drinking wine, and I'm eating chicken!"

"[embarrassed after hearing Renfield and Lucy screaming from outside] Renfield, you idiot."

"[upon seeing two voluptuous brides of Dracula - one rubbing a table seductively, the other rubbing the bedpost seductively] My God! What are you doing to the furniture?"

"Yesss... MASSSTER!"

"[as the vampire women are seducing Renfield] No, this is wrong. This is wrong! This is wrong, you hear me? Wrong! This is ... Wrong me! Wrong me! Wrong my brains out!"

"I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything [guard locks door] I saw everything! [cackles]"

"[upon hearing Dr. Seward's instruction to the guard: "Take him back to his cell and give him a you-know-what!"] No! No! Not another enema!"

"Dr. Seward: Would an enema help?"

"Jonathan Harker: [watching Mina's reflection in a mirror as she's dancing with Dracula, where it looks like she's dancing alone] She's doing quite well without him, isn't she?"

"Nurse: [Upon seeing the unconscious medical students on the floor] Well done, doctor! Ten out of ten!"

"Jonathan Harker: Oh yes, my dear. The Opera is astonishing. The music is fraught with love, hate, sensuality, and unbridled passion... all the things in my life that I've managed to suppress."

"Leslie Nielsen - Count Dracula"

"Peter MacNicol - R.M. Renfield"

"Steven Weber - Jonathan Harker"

"Amy Yasbeck - Mina Murray"

"Mel Brooks - Dr. Abraham Van Helsing"

"Lysette Anthony - Lucy Westenra"

"Harvey Korman - Dr. Jack Seward"