Douglas William Jerrold

"God said, "Let us make man in our image." Man said, 'Let us make God in our image.""

"He is one of those wise philanthropists who in a time of famine would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks."

"The surest way to hit a woman’s heart is to take aim kneeling."

"That fellow would vulgarize the day of judgment."

"The best thing I know between France and England is the sea."

"The life of the husbandman,—a life fed by the bounty of earth and sweetened by the airs of heaven."

"Some people are so fond of ill-luck that they run half-way to meet it."

"Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest."

"The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now, if I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment."

"A blessed companion is a book,—a book that fitly chosen is a life-long friend."

"He was so good he would pour rose-water on a toad."

"As for the brandy, "nothing extenuate;" and the water, put nought in it malice."

"Self-defence is the clearest of all laws; and for this reason - the lawyers didn't make it."

"Talk to him of Jacob's ladder, and he would ask the number of the steps."

"That questionable superfluity—small beer."

"The sharp employ the sharp; verily, a man may be known by his attorney."