Dildo

"Even lovers have vanished without a trace. Ever since the Milesians revolted from us, I haven’t even seen a six-inch dildo, which might have been a consolation, however small."

"As Pherecrates said, skin the skinned dog."

"Ugly women use dildoes."

"He hath songs for man or woman, of all sizes. No milliner can so fit his customers with gloves. He has the prettiest love songs for maids, so without bawdry, which is strange, with such delicate burdens of dildos and fadings, “Jump her and thump her.” And where some stretch-mouthed rascal would, as it were, mean mischief and break a foul gap into the matter, he makes the maid to answer “Whoop, do me no harm, good man”; puts him off, slights him, with “Whoop, do me no harm, good man.”"

"Adieu, unconstant love, to thy disport; Adieu, false mirth, and melodies too short; Adieu, faint-hearted instrument of lust, That falsely hath betrayed our equal trust.) Henceforth I will no more implore thine aid, Or thee for ever of Cowardice shall upraid: My little dildoe shall supply your kind, A youth that is as light as leaves in wind: He bendeth not, nor foldeth any deal, But stands as stiff as he were made of steel; (And plays at peacock twixt my legs right blithe And doeth my tickling swage with many a sigh;) And when I will, he doth refresh me well, And never makes my tender belly swell."

"You ladies all of merry England Who have been to kiss the Duchess's hand, Pray, did you not lately observe in the show A noble Italian called Signor Dildo? ...A rabble of pricks who were welcomed before, Now finding the porter denied them the door, Maliciously waited his coming below And inhumanly fell on Signor Dildo ..."

"To act with raw boys is loving without men. What will not poor forsaken women try? When man's not near, the Signior must supply."

"I am told with a vast long signior Some matrons do ease Their lust and do please Though they have not been lain with these ten years."

"The sisters of Jack Howe too I must name, In vice as knowing, and as bad in fame; For fear of children they all men defy, The Signior [Dildo]'s vigor constantly they try."