Clerks (film)

"I'm not even supposed to be here today."

"Hey, try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!"

"Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean, that's what high school was about: algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity."

"Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule."

"I like to think I'm a master of my own destiny."

"Everybody who comes in here is way too uptight. This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

"Shit, my mom's been fucking a dead guy for 30 years. I call him Dad."

"Bunch of savages in this town."

"Jay: I feel good today, Silent Bob. We're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go to that party, we're gonna get some pussy, and I'm gonna fuck this bitch, I'll fuck this bitch, I'll fuck anything that moves! [to a man passing by on a bicycle] Yo, what the fuck you lookin' at? I'll kick your fuckin' ass! Shit yeah. [to Silent Bob] Doesn't that motherfucker owe me 10 bucks? You know, fuckin' tonight, we're gonna rip off this fucker's head, and tear out his fuckin' soul. Remind me if he tries to buy something, I'm gonna shit in the motherfucker's bag. [to two women in a passing car] Hey, what's up babes? What's up, sluts?"

"Female Customer: It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination."

"Just because they serve you doesn't mean they like you."

"A very funny look at the over-the-counter culture."

"This Job Sucks"

"It Delivers."

"Brian O'Halloran — Dante Hicks"

"Jeff Anderson — Randal Graves"

"Marilyn Ghigliotti — Veronica Loughran"

"Lisa Spoonhauer — Caitlin Bree"

"Jason Mewes — Jay"

"Kevin Smith — Silent Bob"