Chris Pontius

"That was intense. REALLY intense. Well, not really intense. But pretty intense."

"Today's debate: Is it wrong to be strong? You be the judge."

"Water-based lube: Friend or Foe?"

"With a simple shave of the razor Steve-O easily disguises himself in fooling the whale shark in thinking he's a harmless young boy."

"Some people just don't know how to party."

"Hi I'm Bunny the Lifeguard and if any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle 'em to the ground and probably have my way with them."

"Wait a minute. I already know my fortune, it's partying!"

"I guess I don't have any last words. I'm just gonna kill myself once I lose my wiener."

"I'm gonna be so bummed when they announce my sexually transmitted diseases."

"You look cool, Steve-0."

"For one thing, God didn't invent the circumcision, I did."

"I gotta get in term with my sexuality, I gotta know what I'm all about."

"Pedal faster! Come on, there are crocodiles in this water and I hear they'll eat anything - even plastic!"

"They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I don't know what that means, but I like it."

"There's a very good chance we could be riding each other to Russia."

"Hi, I'm bunny the life guard and if there's any life-saving to do I'm the man to do it"

"When he's asleep, I wish he was awake, when he is"

"Russian police. Stern, stern but fair"

"Latvia gangsters. cool. I want to join them."

"I gotta come to term with my sexuality. I gotta know what I'm all about."

"My job on this show is to be naked, not kill myself.""

"Baby's cold."

"Fire doesn't burn if you're already dead!""

"From my experiments with sexiness, seems like a lot of people are afraid at first, and fear usually equals violence. But eventually I'll win their hearts and instead of fighting they'll want to make love to me."

"Sir, could I trouble you for a kiss?"

"You're not even Mexican!"

"That guy right there is the best damn roller skater ever. Maybe even in the whole town."

"I'm not into bestiality, but that's a good-looking animal."

"That's not Christian!"

"Steve-O, I don't like the man... he lost!"