Cabin Boy

"These pipes are clean!"

"I just don't get it! She seems totally uninterested in me, despite my smothering obsessiveness!"

"Paps, you've been like the drunken, abusive grandfather I never had."

"We should call this place Wackyville... because it's wacky!"

"When you're on the Queen Catherine, don't let 'em give you any of that flank steak bullshit. You know what I mean? Try the London Broil."

"Gosh you're cute. Wanna buy a monkey?"

"Man, oh man, do I hate them fancy lads!"

"Trina: Thats wonderful. I'm always flattered when a psychotic becomes smitten with me."

"Cupcake: Now I know what you're thinking. "What could be stranger than a big fatass floatin' cupcake?" Heh. How about one that spits tobacco?"

"Kenny: Mmmm. Gum."

"Paps: Okay, you icy bastard, how about a hot cup-a joe!"

"He's sailing high on the high seas, without a rudder, a compass, or a clue."

"Chris Elliott — Nathanial Mayweather"

"Ritch Brinkley — Captain Greybar"

"James Gammon — Paps"

"Ricki Lake — Figurehead"

"Brian Doyle-Murray — Skunk"

"David Letterman — Old salt in fishing village"

"Brion James — Big Teddy"

"Melora Walters — Trina"

"I.M. Hobson — Headmaster Timmons"

"Alex Nevil — Thomas"

"David H. Sterry — Lance"

"Bob Elliott — William Mayweather"

"Edward Flotard — Limo Driver"

"Jim Cummings — Cupcake (voice)"

"Ann Magnuson — Calli"

"Russ Tamblyn — Chocki"