Blade: Trinity

"[A cell phone rings while he is holding a familiar upside-down] Oh, it's you!"

"[To a baby after catching it thrown by Dracula/Drake at the edge of a skyscraper] Cootchie-Coo."

"So the movies are true."

"[To a familiar] Go. You've got twenty seconds. [The familiar runs] Twenty. [Shoots him]"

"[Looking at Hannibal King's sticker, "Hello my name is FUCK YOU" ] Is that supposed to be tactical?"

"[Crashes out a fourth story window and lands smoothly on the ground] Forgot my sword."

"[First lines, voiceover] In the movies, Dracula wears a cape, and some old English guy manages to save the day at the last minute with crosses and holy water. But everybody knows the movies are full of shit. The truth is, it started with Blade, and it ended with him. The rest of us were just along for the ride."

"I picked Danica up in a bar, spent the next five years playing hide-and-go-suck as her little vampire cabana boy. Eventually Abigail found me, Sommerfield managed to treat me with a cure, and now I kill them. And that's basically turning a frown upside down."

"[After watching Blade casually kill a familiar] You know, one of these days, you might want to consider sitting down with someone. You know, have a little share time? Get in touch with your inner child? Also, just a thought, but you just might want to consider blinking once in a while. [Blade stops and slowly turns to look at Hannibal] Sorry. I, uh … I ate a lot of sugar today."

"So, can we just go right ahead and sign you up for one of our secret Nightstalker decoder rings?"

"[Walking down hallway and coming across vampire Pomeranian] Fuck me. [Two vampire rottweilers show up] Fuck me sideways!"

"[Danica lies dying of the Daystar Virus] Hang in there kitten, I'll get help."

"[Last lines, original ending] And Blade? The virus didn't kill him. Because he was a hybrid, his heart never stopped beating. It simply slowed down. And so, he slept, waiting for the moment when he can walk the Earth again."

"[Last lines] And Drake's final gift... Let's just say the FBI got their body... just wasn't the one they were banking on. Blade was still out there somewhere, doing what he did best. He was a weapon. His life was a war. And everybody knows the war never ends."

"FUCKING HANNIBAL KING! I should have ripped his bleeding heart out when I had the chance!"

"There is an old saying: kill one man, you're a murderer. Kill a million, a king. Kill them all, a god."

"[To Blade in his true form] Are you ready to die, "motherfucker"?"

"[Last words] Funny, isn't it? My people were trying to create a new kind of vampire, when one already exists. I don't need to survive. The future of our race rests with you. You fought with honor. I respect that. So, allow me a parting gift. But know this: sooner, or later, the thirst always wins."

"Here's what I'll say about Blade: Trinity. If you watch - and by the way, I'm friends with the writer director, and he agrees with me on this. If you just sit and watch Blade: Trinity, it's a D-minus. It just doesn't work. But if you know what they went through to get that movie made. It is an A-plus. The fact that movie exists puts it above Citizen Kane. The fact that with all the craziness that went down. We were in Vancouver and Wesley Snipes was going crazy and he wouldn't come out of his trailer, and you'd walk by his trailer and this wall of pot stench would just be like "Whoa!" and kinda push you to the side, and then he would only answer to the name 'Blade', you couldn't call him. After awhile, he would communicate with post-its that he would give to the director, and each one he would sign "Blade"."

"The final hunt begins."

"He fought the forces of darkness alone … until now."

"Wesley Snipes – Blade/Eric Brooks/"The Daywalker""

"Kris Kristofferson – Abraham Whistler"

"Dominic Purcell – Drake"

"Jessica Biel – Abigail Whistler"

"Ryan Reynolds – Hannibal King"

"Parker Posey – Danica Talos"

"Mark Berry – Chief Martin Vreede"

"John Michael Higgins – Dr. Edgar Vance"

"Callum Keith Rennie – Asher Talos"

"Paul Michael Levesque (Triple H) – Jarko Grimwood"

"Paul Anthony – Wolfe"

"Françoise Yip – Virago"

"Michael Rawlins – Wilson Hale"

"James Remar – Ray Cumberland"

"Natasha Lyonne – Sommerfield"

"Patton Oswalt – Hedges"

"Christopher Heyerdahl – Caulder"