A soft landing

"When I stand at assembly to address them regarding sporting events. The girls fanning themselves with their hands as if I’ve suddenly turned up the sun’s temperature – some fake fainting, their friends standing behind them to catch them as they fake fall."

"Everything turns into a mini spectacle, delaying the proceedings until the principal intervenes. I’m not even going to mention the ones who ask for my Mxit number. Borrowing my Razr to take pictures in class."

"I’m just returning the favour. For sitting with me throughout the soccer matches because it’s easier to enjoy them when you are there. And your dad talks more with you around.""

"I feel like if he was your father, you would understand. Look, it is like a baby – it’s fun playing with it to pass time knowing you are going to give it back to its parents the moment it starts whining. Now imagine living with that whining baby every single day. It is tiring, hemfo."

"Surely every smoker said that before they got addicted. I don’t understand why you need to smoke."