"Things are never so bad they can't be made worse."

"Ooooh! Coward yourself! You ain't no lady. No, Miss. That's what my poor old Mother would say to you, if my poor old …"

"Pinch me, Rosie. Here we are, going down the river like Anthony and Cleopatra on that barge! I'll never forget the wa…"

"What a time we've had, Rosie. What a time. We'll never lack for stories to tell our grandchildren, will we?"

"[to Charlie, after realizing she is in love with him] Dear. What is your first name?"

"[to Charlie] You're the bravest man that ever lived."

"By the authority vested in me by Kaiser Wilhelm II, I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution."

"Humphrey Bogart - Charlie Allnut"

"Robert Morley - Rev. Samuel Sayer"

"Peter Bull - German captain of the Louisa"