"For a start, let's look at the Grotto itself. By and large these are extremely aptly named, 'Grot' meaning rubbish an…"

"Life with a Jolly Parent is a bit like life in a holiday camp. The beds are too small and there's an outbreak of Salm…"

"There are two distinct types of bike: The one you save up for and buy yourself, otherwise known as the 'Dream Machine…"

"It's easy to forget you are in debt to the tune of £10, and to a woman who never forgets anything. Crikey, she can ev…"

"Fishing is a jerk at one end of a line waiting for a jerk at the other end of a line."

"where George II died and where Queen Victoria was born is still used as apartments for the sovereign's relatives: Pri…"

"proposed as the chief gardener and William Brown as his assistant. Nelson had already 'sailed round the world in my s…"

"On 1 October 1918, when only sixteen, my father rode into Damascus with the , hours ahead of T.E. Lawrence (Lawrence …"

"There is a that I will probably never send. I would not dare to. It is a cross of Jesus drawn in fresh blood from an …"

"... In 1961 she trained as a newspaper reporter and was sent to London to work for the Murdoch papers on . She filed …"