"It was quite a tough school. Put it this way, we had our own coroner."

"You can count on him. He'll always let you down."

"Do not go mental, and with that, goodnight."

"Drugs eh! That's the trouble; they're indiscriminate. The good memories go with the fuckin' shit you're tryin' to blo…"

"Not only do I not have a mobile 'phone, I haven't got a computer. I don't employ any artificial intelligence of any k…"

"Somebody once said that a wedding is a funeral where you can smell your own flowers. Well, that's a harsh judgement i…"

"As is often the case a failed marriage led to a successful divorce. We split the house; I got the outside...... It wa…"

"I always judge people by appearances; don't you anyway? I think clothes are important; that's where the nudist camp f…"

"A suit where I can fall down drunk in a ditch get up the next morning and go on to a wedding; or more likely a funera…"

"Never leave a bookies with a smile on your face."