"[distracting Michael with a chunky monkey] Hey biggun'. Playtime's over."

"[after a farmer called Peter Ian Staker has phoned up about a lost swan] P.I. Staker... Right. Pisstaker! Come on!"

"Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll."

"[after stopping Danny's swan call] That's just going to scare it."

"My, my. Here come the Fuzz."

"[after walking into Sandford with a ton of weapons and ammo on him] Morning."

"[taking a ginger-haired boy hostage] Stay back! Or the ginger-nut gets it! [the child bites Skinner's hand and runs a…"

"GET! [punch] OUT! [punch] OF MY! [punch] VILLAGE! [punch], [while fighting Angel]."

"Absolute tosh, wasn't it? It's annoying that the understudies are actually professional actors. Greg over there was a…"

"Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone "ahhrgh"?"