Screenplays By Joe Eszterhas

"[repeated line] It doesn't suck."

"You can't touch me, but I can touch you. I'd really love to touch you."

"You know the best advice I ever got? You're up there on stage, hopin' on a spot. If someone gets in your way, step on 'em. If you're the only one left standing there, they hire you. That's about it. Thank you and good night, ladies and gentlemen. Elvis has left the building."

"Thank you and good night, ladies and gentlemen. Cristal has left the building."

"There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you."

"You fuck 'em without fucking them! That's what you do! Well, it ain't right! You've got too much talent for it to be right!"

"I have a problem with pussy. I always have, and I'm always gonna."

"Honey, you could never handle me with all these wrinkles of fat. Why, you'd never find the thing... I'd have to piss on you to give you a clue!"

"[singing] The Farmer in the Dell / The Farmer in the Dell / I had a cherry, once / And now it's shot to hell!"

"[singing] She's the yellow rose of Texas / She charges fifty bucks / She's the richest girl in Texas / And all she does is fuck!"

"She looks better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!"

"Tony Moss: I'm Tony Moss. I produce this show. Some of you have probably heard that I'm a prick. I am a prick. I got one interest here, and that's the show. I don't care whether you live or die. I want to see you dance and I want to see you smile. I can't use you if you can't smile, I can't use you if you can't show, I can't use you if you can't sell."

"Annie: They're going to see a smiling snatch if you don't fix this g-string!"

"Al Torres: It must be weird, not having anybody cum on you."

"Marty Jacobsen: She's no butterfly, Tony. She's all pelvic thrust. I mean, she prowls... She's got it!"

"Mr. Karlman: We could have brought anyone into this show: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul. Nomi Malone is what Las Vegas is all about! She's dazzling, she's exciting, and very, very sexy!"

"Leave your inhibitions at the door. The show is about to begin."

"Beyond your wildest dreams. Beyond your wildest fantasies."

"The most controversial movie of the year is here."

"The side of Vegas you were never meant to see."

"Elizabeth Berkley - Nomi Malone/Polly Ann Costello"

"Kyle MacLachlan - Zack Carey"

"Gina Gershon - Cristal Connors"

"Glenn Plummer - James Smith"

"Robert Davi - Al Torres"

"Alan Rachins - Tony Moss"

"Gina Ravera - Molly Abrams"

"Lin Tucci - Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom"

"Greg Travis - Phil Newkirk"

"Al Ruscio - Mr. Karlman"

"Patrick Bristow - Marty Jacobsen"

"William Shockley - Andrew Carver"

"Michelle Johnston - Gay Carpenter"

"Dewey Weber - Jeff"

"Rena Riffel - Penny / Hope"

"Melissa Williams - Julie"

"Ungela Brockman - Angie"

"Melinda Songer - Nicky"

"Bobbie Phillips - Dee"

"Carrie Ann Inaba - Goddess dancer"