Jim C. Hines

"She didn’t argue. That, more than anything else, told me she hadn’t fully recovered from everything she’d been through. A year ago, she would have argued with me on principle, secure in her teenage sense of immortality and invulnerability."

"Human ignorance has never needed help."

"“You mean you just let him go?” “What did you want me to do?” I snapped. “Castrate him on the spot? Execute him?” “Both. Both is good.”"

"“It’s not going to come to that,” I said. “Nobody ever believes it will,” so the driver. “That’s why it does.”"

"You don’t do what’s right because you know it will work out. You do it because you know it’s right."

"Judge not, lest ye be punched in the face for being a self-righteous prick."

"“Your fear is all too human. Accept it, but as you walk this path, let your hope guide you.” “And what if hope guides me off the edge of a cliff?” “I said let hope guide you. I never said stop paying attention to where you’re going.”"

"“Everywhere I go, I meet men like him,” Riana muttered. “Follow them into Straum’s lair or let them toss me into the dungeons. They offer you a choice between hells and expect you to thank them for it.”"

"Madmen in the noble line are as common as rat turds in the grain shed."

"He hoped he hadn’t killed the guard. He had come here to help the goblins. Though eliminating some of the stupider guards might be construed as helping. He would have to think about that later."

"Plans were for adventurers. He preferred the goblin approach. Blind panic might not work all the time, but at least it saved you the stress of planning."

"Unfortunately for you, ignorance makes a poor shield."

"He seemed to think that killing was something to be done only as a last resort. It was a strange philosophy, one that would take some getting used to."

"Despite common belief, the goblin language did include a word for trust. It was derived from the word for trustworthy, which in the goblin tongue, was the same as the word for dead."

"No night is so dark, no situation so dire, but the intervention of the gods cannot make it worse."

"What do I do? Tymalous Shadowstar didn’t answer. Hello? A little help would be nice. Still nothing. It figured. There was never a god around when you needed one."

"The difference between a Hero and an ordinary man is that when the ordinary man comes upon a flaming death swamp full of venomous dragon snakes, he turns around and goes home. The Hero strips down and goes for a swim."

"Keep your enemies close, but your friends closer. That way your friends are between you and your enemies."

"Jig’s life would be much simpler if she were dead. That more than anything else, convinced him she was still alive."

"No plan survives the first encounter with your enemy, so why bother to make one?"

"Jig had never worried about pursuing his destiny. Generally, destiny pursued him. Then it knocked him down and kicked him a few times for good measure."

"The royal children have skulls of granite, it’s true, but they come by that honestly."

"Maybe this was why gods stayed on another plane of existence. If they stayed here in the mortal world, their followers would be too tempted to punch them in the face."

"If a god ever decides to talk to you, the best thing you can do is pretend you don’t hear him."

"Cowardice is a far better survival trait than heroism."

"Nobody dies faster than a tired soldier."

"I’m told it’s very difficult to escape death once he adds your name to his list."

"Don’t let your newfound title worry you. Having lived among goblins and their backstabbing, treacherous ways, you’re far better prepared for politics than most."

"If books are indeed magic (and does anyone really believe otherwise?), then they are a collaborative magic between author and reader."

"I leaned closer and whispered, “a librarian’s gotta do what a librarian’s gotta do.”"

"“Besides, is it really stealing if you’re stealing from an asshole?” “I’d have to double-check, but I don’t think the criminal code includes an asshole clause.”"

"“The biggest liar in the world is They Say,’” I muttered. “Douglas Malloch.”"

"“What happened?” “Nothing serious, as long as I’m careful.” “You’re doomed,” she said."

"Magically speaking, dissociative identity disorder looks a lot like possession."

"Power makes people believe they’re invulnerable."

"“How do you fight them?” “The same way you fight any enemy. With knowledge.”"

"Every Porter was required to see a therapist on a regular basis. It seemed a wise precaution for people who routinely rewrote the laws of existence to suit their whims."

"Do you remember the moment you first realize you were mortal? That no matter what happened, you would never live long enough to read every book you wanted to read? That you’d die having accomplished only a fraction of your goals?"

"She paused, then added, “Besides, you don’t really want to know what I think. You’ve already come to your own conclusion. You just want me to talk you out of it.” I had forgotten how annoying Nidhi could be when she was right."

"Librarians: Kicking Ignorance in the Balls for Over 4000 Years."

"I wanted to bring the author back from the grave purely so Lena, Nidhi, and I could take turns punching him in the face."

"The more we narrow the definition of beauty, the more beauty we shut out of our lives."

"Copper River was a small, tightly knit town. If gossip was a competitive sport, we’d have been sending teams to the Olympics and bringing back gold."

"Every religion I’ve studied has laws or commandments against killing. Historically, humanity has shown tremendous creativity in finding every possible loophole, rationalization, and justification to ignore these commandments."

"The behavior of animals does not provide moral justification for human beings to do the same."

"The mistakes of the past do not excuse the mistakes of the present."

"There were always people eager for attention who were happy to confirm whatever explanation the reporters wanted, so long as he gave them their fifteen minutes of fame."

"In the words of a coworker, my give-a-shit gauge was stuck on Empty these days."

"“Do you, um, happen to have a copy of that Wells novel here?” “Priorities,” Lena whispered. Right. The end of the world took precedence over an unpublished H. G. Wells. Barely."

"The hotel offered a complimentary continental breakfast. My first thought upon seeing it was rather less than complimentary."