First Quote Added
april 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"[reading his essay] "What I want for Christmas. What I want is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock... and this thing which tells time." Wow, that's great. "I think that everybody should have a Red Ryder BB gun. They're very good for Christmas. I don't think that a football's a very good Christmas present.""
"[after cracking a secret code, reading it] Be sure...to...drink...your...Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!"
"[as an adult, narrating] Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man."
"Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya."
"Scut Farkus: [to Ralphie] Listen, jerk! When I tell you to come, you better come! [Ralphie starts quivering] What? Are you gonna cry now? Come on, crybaby, cry for me! Come on! CRY, HA HA!!! [begins mock crying and laughing]"
"A Tribute to the Original, Traditional, One-Hundred-Percent, Red-Blooded, Two-Fisted, All-American Christmas..."
"Peace, Harmony, Comfort, And Joy... Maybe Next Year."
"'Tis Better To Give Than To Receive."
"The Parker Family"
"Scott Schwartz – Flick"
"R.D. Robb – Schwartz"
"Yano Anaya – Grover Dill"
"Zack Ward – Scut Farcus"
"Tedde Moore – Miss Shields"
"Jean Shepherd – Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)"
"Bob Clark – Swede (uncredited)"
"John Wong – Chinese Father"
"Johan Sebastian Wong – Waiter #1"
"Fred Lee – Waiter #2"
"Rocco Bellusici – Waiter #3"