"...bring an umbrella."

"That was refreshing. I'm refreshed. I'm refreshing."

"The first time I was struck with something, it was a chicken breast from Kenny Rogers. I was standing next to a garba…"

"Here's the thing: if you want your father to think you're not a silly fuck, don't slap a guy across the face with a g…"

"[Thinking, while looking at a woman's butt while waiting to cross the street] Man, I'd like to put my face in there. …"

"The other thing that gets to people, that leads to pies, I guess are these catch phrases we're required to use to sin…"

"I mean, I'll bet no one ever threw a pie at, like Harriet Tubman, the founder of the Underground railroad. I'll bet y…"

"I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I'd be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong…"

"Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meanin…"

"In life, accuracy counts."