"Like, I would have it at fucking TGI Fridays. I would have done it somewhere with good ranch."

"I feel like if I did a boudoir photo shoot with Beau, I would be styled as Daenerys in a giant tub filled with ranch.…"

"I want to wrap a dildo in acid and give it Kristen as a present so it tears out her insides."

"My mom has always told me that I’m a descendant of a Swedish princess, so I try and act like one."

"It's my dream to have three glasses of wine in front of me at all times."

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Go fuck yourself and die."

"Who can say no to an open bar?"

"Why didn't I have a bottle of wine before I did this?"

"I am going to crucify her. I'm going to destroy her life. You have no idea."

"Oh, and can I have a side of balsamic vinegar? I like eating that with pizza. Top five condiments for pizza, in order…"