"The host is pathetic! The show is pathetic! The audience is pathetic!"

"You know Paula, who I couldn't look at the beginning of the series... I love her to death now. I hate to admit it but…"

"Sinitta and Jackie are my family now. I don't think of them as ex-girlfriends anymore. They are an extension of my li…"

"Normally, they want me to be rude to them. People come up to me and sing, and I say "That was great. Thank you." And …"

"If I tape an 11-hour day, guess which parts end up on air. Not the bits when I'm pleasant, but the parts when I'm obn…"

"I changed my diet and I’ve not looked back since. You feel better, you look better. I cut out a lot of the stuff I sh…"

"[On the 2026 Gorton and Denton by-election] I'll be totally honest, when I heard Andy Burnham wasn't being selected, …"

"Whether we're talking about the cost of living crisis, whether we're talking about the genocide in Gaza, or generally…"

"[On standing as a parliamentary candidate] I have lived in London for more than 20 years. As soon as a by-election co…"

"[On drug legalisation] I've actually never taken a drug in my life, or even drunk alcohol, but I still don’t sit here…"