"He said "I'll punch your head!" I said "Whose?" He said "Yours!" I said "Mine?" He said "Yes!" I said "Oh?" He said "…"

"The day war broke out, my Missus said to me – she looked at me and she said, "What good are you?""

""Well," she said, "All the young fellas'll be getting called up and you'll have to go back to work!" Ooh – she's got …"

"She said,"What are you supposed to do?" I said, "I'm supposed to stop Hitler's army landing." She said, "What! – you?…"

"She said, "Do you know this Hitler? Have you ever met him?" I said, "Do I – of course I don't!" She said, "Well how a…"

"I never really had any aspirations to be an actor when I was young. I wanted to play the piano in a bar, to be the ol…"

"If I do decide one day to stop acting, I just hate the idea of people going: 'Oh, did you ever do anything else besid…"

"I don't really know how to act, I kind of wanted to somehow make it real, and one of the ways I've always thought mak…"

"I knew in a flash Gary had something I should never have. It is something pure and he doesn't know it's there. In tru…"

"They can't censor the gleam in my eye."