"If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there wou…"

"The need to compile lists is a personality disorder, as is the need to assert the superiority of some things over oth…"

"All socialists have bad backs because we slouch — except when we’re watching the news when we sit on the edge of our …"

"Why don't they just accept that life is sad and cheer up it's not forever."

"It seems a shallow observation, but… the Tory Conference are not an attractive lot, are they? I mean, if all those pe…"

"It is a stupid observation, but the Labour Party are not an smart lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were bor…"

"… really very critical of hereditary peers, but they — I mean — they've got their faults, but some of those faults ha…"

"You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War."

"I don't get this fashion for happy funerals. He said he wanted all his mates to be in a good mood and smile, and this…"

"My daughter wanted a new pair of trainers. I told her "You're eleven, make your own!""