First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Chris Hardwick as Ice Cream Vendor"
"Adam Sandler as Leonard "Lenny" Feder"
"Peter Dante as Officer Dante"
"Cameron Boyce as Keithie Feder"
"Georgia Engel as Mrs. Lamonsoff"
"Kevin James as Erickson "Eric" Lamonsoff"
"Alexander Ludwig as Braden"
"Shaquille O'Neal as Officer Fluzzo"
"Salma Hayek as Roxanne "Roxie" Chase-Feder"
"Jake Goldberg as Greg Feder"
"Jon Lovitz as Squats Fitness Janitor"
"Nadji Jeter as Andre McKenzie"
"Jackie Sandler as Jackie Tardio"
"David Spade as Marcus "Higgy" Higgins"
"Milo Ventimiglia as Frat Boy Milo"
"Jimmy Tatro as Frat Boy"
"Taran Killam as Male Cheerleader"
"Ellen Cleghorne as Mary Fluzoo"
"Chris Rock as Kurtis "Kurt" McKenzie"
"Stone Cold Steve Austin as Dennis Cavanaugh"
"Aly Michalka as Sexy Bikini Girl Savannah"
"Andy Samberg as Male Cheerleader"
"China Anne McClain as Charlotte McKenzie"
"Frank Gingerich as Bean Lamonsoff"
"Tim Meadows as Malcolm"
"Ada-Nicole Sanger as Donna Lamonsoff"
"Maya Rudolph as Deanne McKenzie"
"Maria Bello as Sally Lamonsoff"
"Steve Buscemi as Wiley"
"Nick Swardson as Nicholas "Nick" Hilliard"
"Alexys Nycole Sanchez as Becky Feder"
"Taylor Lautner as Frat Boy Andy"
"Patrick Schwarzenegger as Frat Boy Cooper"
"David Henrie as Frat Boy Zac"
"Allen Covert as Hippie Teacher"
"Erin Heatherton as Female Cheerleader"
"Halston Sage as Nancy Arbuckle"
"Cheri Oteri as Penny"
"This Is Crazy"
"You wanna talk about The Scarlet Letter, Ms. Tafferty? All right. Well, the A they're both wearing - I think it stands for "asshole." Wanna know why? Because they fell in love and love is for stupid assholes. And this book is just about a bunch of assholes who fell in love, like assholes, then had to die, like assholes. I'm sorry about all the "assholes.""
"This Is Stupid"
"[to Jacob] Will you take off your shirt... fuck! Seriously? It's like you're Photoshopped!"
"The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise."
"Is this some kind of a skit? Because I'm lost."
"This Is Love"
"I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one... you never give up."
"I have loved her even when I hated her... only married couples'll understand that one..."
"I'm going to help you find your manhood. Do you have any idea where you might have lost it?"
"I'm wildly unhappy, and I'm trying to buy it, and it's not working."
"I'm so mad at you. I'm really mad at you for what you did. But I'm mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out of that car - I should have fought for you. Because you fight for your soul mates."