First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"[to David] Have a drink with your old man. Be somebody!"
"[upon learning Woody has "won" a million dollars] I never knew the son of a bitch even wanted to be a millionaire! He should have thought about that years ago and worked for it!"
"I ain't fiddlin' with no cow titties. I'm a city girl!"
"[lifts her dress and flashes a tombstone] You see this? You could have had all this to yourself, and look what you missed out on."
"Ross Grant: [in a physical altercation with his cousin] Hey, watch the face, okay? I'm on TV."
"Bruce Dern - Woody Grant"
"Will Forte - David Grant"
"June Squibb - Kate Grant"
"Stacy Keach - Ed Pegram"
"Bob Odenkirk - Ross Grant"
"Mary Louise Wilson - Aunt Martha"
"Missy Doty - Noel"
"Angela McEwan - Pegy Nagy"
"Rance Howard - Uncle Ray"
"Devin Ratray - Cole"
"Zach Galifianakis - Steve"
"How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders. Feel 'em? Now I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life. You start with the little things. The things on shelves and in drawers, the knick-knacks, the collectibles. Feel the weight as that adds up. Then you start adding larger stuff, clothes, table-top appliances, lamps, linens, your TV. The backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. And you go bigger. Your couch, bed, your kitchen table. Stuff it all in there. Your car, get it in there. Your home, whether it's a studio apartment or a two bedroom house. I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now try to walk. It's kind of hard, isn't it? This is what we do to ourselves on a daily basis. We weigh ourselves down until we can't even move. And make no mistake, moving is living. Now, I'm gonna set that backpack on fire. What do you want to take out of it? What do you want to take out of it? Photos? Photos are for people who can't remember. Drink some ginkgo and let the photos burn. In fact, let everything burn and imagine waking up tomorrow with nothing. It's kind of exhilarating, isn't it?"
"Adhir Kalyan - fired I.T. worker"
"Tamala Jones - Karen Barnes"
"Now, this is gonna be a little difficult, so stay with me. You have a new backpack. Only this time, I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office, and then you move into the people that you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, your brothers, your sisters, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend or your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack. And don't worry. I'm not gonna ask you to light it on fire. Feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake - your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. Do you feel the straps cutting into your shoulders? All those negotiations and arguments, and secrets and compromises. You don't need to carry all that weight. Why don't you set that bag down? Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically for a lifetime - star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not those animals. The slower we move, the faster we die. We are not swans. We're sharks."
"All the things you probably hate about traveling – the recycled air, the artificial lighting, the digital juice dispensers, the cheap sushi – are warm reminders that I’m home."
"[in his seminar] Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it's because they sat there that they were able to do it."
"[Guiding Natalie through airport check-in, walking past a row with Middle Eastern travelers] Five words: "Randomly selected for additional screening.""
"Tonight most people will be welcomed home by jumping dogs and squealing kids. Their spouses will ask about their day, and tonight they'll sleep. The stars will wheel forth from their daytime hiding places; and one of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip passing over."
"George Clooney - Ryan Bingham"
"Anna Kendrick - Natalie Keener"
"Vera Farmiga - Alex Goran"
"Jason Bateman - Craig Gregory"
"Amy Morton - Kara Bingham"
"Melanie Lynskey - Julie Bingham"
"J.K. Simmons - Bob"
"Sam Elliott - Maynard Finch"
"Danny McBride - Jim Miller"