219 quotes found
"One of these days... One of these days... (He shoots his fist up) POW! Right in the kisser!"
"Hamina-hamina-hamina-hamina."
"(To Alice, gesturing with his fist) Bang, zoom!"
"(To Norton) You... are a mental case."
"(To Alice's mother after she gives away the mystery ending of a play Ralph was planning to go to that evening) YOU...ARE A BLABBERMOUTH!!!!!! A BLAAAAAAAAAAABBERMOUTH!!!!!!! YOU!!! BLABBERMOUTH!!!!!"
"(To Alice) You're gonna get yours!"
"(To Alice at the end of many episodes) Baby, you're the greatest."
"I've got a BIG MOUTH!!"
"BANG, ZOOM! To the moon, Alice!"
"Somewhere, there's a strait jacket waitin' for that man."
"A mere bag of shells."
"Pins and needles, needles and pins. It's a happy man that grins."
"You're a riot, Alice! A regular riot!"
"(about Ralph) Sheesh! What a grouch!"
"Hey, Ralphie boy!"
"(in The Golfer, Norton is teaching Ralph how to play golf) First, you step up and address the ball. (To golf ball) Hello, ball!"
"(in A Matter of Record) In the words of the immortal bard, Shakespeare, "There are three times in a man's life when he wants to be alone: one, when he's communing with his thoughts; two, when he's being tender with his wife; and three, when he's in the isolation booth on The $64,000 Question.""
"Like we say in the sewer: "Time and tide wait for no man.""
"(In response to Ralph being temporarily laid off) I know just how you feel because I went through the same thing two or three years ago when they laid me off from the sewer. I felt just like a fish out of water."
"(Norton has been fired from his job) Ol' Ed Norton, reliable ol' Ed Norton, working 17 years in the sewer. And now everything's down the drain!"
"(in A Matter of Life and Death) Don't touch me, Ralph. I'm sterile."
"(in TV or Not TV) Official space helmet on, Captain Video!"
"Va va va voom!"
"I don't possess a mansion, a villa in France, a yacht, or a string of polo ponies."
"Only myself to blame. My mother warned me."
"(To Ralph): Ahhhh, shaddap!"
"(To Ralph): The biggest thing you ever got into was your pants."
"(To Ralph): I don't wanna look at that icebox, that stove, that sink, and these four walls. I wanna look at Liberace!"
"(Ralph states that his mother-in-law said this): I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a TON."
"Alice: I'll go fix my lipstick. I won't be gone long, Killer. I call you Killer 'cause you slay me. Ralph: And I'm calling Bellevue 'cause you're nuts!"
"(Ralph can't remove a ring from his finger) Ralph: Isn't there any lard around here? Alice: Yeah, about 300 pounds. Ralph: Oh, you're gonna get yours!"
"Ralph: Me and my silly pride. Well, I promise you this, Norton: I'm gonna learn. I'm gonna learn from here on out how to swallow my pride. Norton: Well, that ought not to be too hard; you've learned how to swallow everything else. Ralph: GET OUT!"
"Ralph: Peanuts! Peanuts, Alice! What am I supposed to do with peanuts? Alice: Eat 'em, like any other elephant!"
"Ralph: You're the type of person that would bend waaaaay over to pick up a purse on April Fools' Day. I wouldn't. Alice: You couldn't."
"(Ralph is outraged that he and Alice now have a phone) Ralph: What's the matter, is yelling out the window too good for you now? Was it raining out? Alice: Yelling out the window is bad manners. Ralph: Don't you make any nasty remarks about my mother. She's been yelling out the window for 80 years! Alice: Yeah? And before she lost her voice, there were more people listening to her than to Amos 'n' Andy."
"Ralph: Don't start that again, Alice. No wife of mine is gonna work. I got my pride. You know, no Kramden woman has ever supported her husband. The Kramden men are the workers in the family. Alice: Wait a minute, Ralph. What about your father? For a long time there he didn't work at all. Ralph: But neither did my mother. At least he kept his pride, Alice. He went on relief."
"Alice: What am I supposed to tell my mother when you're not here? Ralph: I don't care. Tell her I ran off and joined the circus. Alice: What as, an elephant? Ralph: Oh, you're a riot, Alice, a regular riot. I'll bet you got the whole building laughing. Ha, ha, ho, ho! You know, you're the one ought to join the circus. You ought to be in the circus. You'd be funnier than that Emmett Kelly, the clown they got there. Much funnier. In fact, you look a little bit like him. All except for one thing: the big red nose. [cocks his fist at Alice] And you might get that before this is over."
"[Ralph is trying to assert his intentions on staying in their frozen, candlelit apartment to Alice, after their apartment's heat and electricity had been cut off] Ralph: I'm the general. And what I say goes! Alice: (dripping sarcasm) Then you better say, "Alice," 'cause I'm goin'!"
"Norton: Ralph? Ralph: What? Norton: Mind if I smoke? Ralph: I don't care if you burn."
"[Ralph and Norton are reading scripts for a play they're rehearsing for] Norton: (reading from the script) I don't possess a mansion or a villa in France or a yacht or a string of poloponies. Ralph: (reading) I'm glad to hear... [He stops suddenly] "A string of poloponies"? Where do you see that? Norton: (pointing) Right there, "a string of poloponies". Ralph: That's "a string of POLO PONIES"!"
"Ralph: That's the trouble with you, Alice. You don't know the latest developments! Alice: I don't know the latest developments??! Who is it that lets your pants out every other day??"
"Even more revolutionary than the scorn for violence between men is the scorn for violence against women. Many baby boomers are nostalgic for The Honeymooners, a 1950s sitcom featuring Jackie Gleason as a burly bus driver whose get-rich-quick schemes are ridiculed by his sensible wife, Alice. In one of the show’s recurring laugh lines, an enraged Ralph shakes his fist at her and bellows, “One of these days, Alice, one of these days . . . POW, right in the kisser!” (Or sometimes “Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!”) Alice always laughs it off, not because she has contempt for a wife-beater but because she knows that Ralph is not weak enough to do it. Nowadays our sensitivity to violence against women makes this kind of comedy in a mainstream television program unthinkable."
"Bret McKenzie - Bret"
"Jemaine Clement - Jemaine"
"Rhys Darby - Murray Hewitt"
"Kristen Schaal - Mel"
"Arj Barker - Dave"
"Peter Krause — Nick George"
"Donald Sutherland — Patrick "Tripp" Darling III"
"William Baldwin — Patrick Darling IV"
"Natalie Zea — Karen Darling"
"Glenn Fitzgerald — Brian Darling, Sr."
"Samaire Armstrong — Juliet Darling"
"Seth Gabel — Jeremy Darling"
"Zoe McLellan — Lisa George"
"Blair Underwood — Simon Elder"
"Jill Clayburgh — Letitia "Tish" Darling"
"Lucy Liu — Nola Lyons"
"Kristin Bauer — Rebecca Colfax"
"Roxana Brusso — Maria"
"Candis Cayne — Carmelita"
"Daniel Cosgrove — Freddy Mason"
"Tamara Feldman — Natalie Kimpton"
"Michelle Krusiec — Mei Ling Hwa Darling"
"Sheryl Lee — Andrea Smithson"
"Laura Margolis — Daisy"
"Chloë Grace Moretz — Kiki George"
"Shawn Michael Patrick — Clark"
"Will Shadley — Brian Darling, Jr."
"Sofía Vergara — Sofia"
"Bellamy Young — Ellen Darling"
"Maria Bello - Det. Jane Timoney"
"Aidan Quinn - Lt. Kevin Sweeney"
"Kirk Acevedo - Det. Luisito Calderon"
"Joe Nieves - Det. Eddie Gautier"
"Brían F. O'Byrne - Det. Reg Duffy"
"Damon Gupton - Det. Evrard Velerio"
"Tim Griffin - Det. Augie Blando"
"Peter Gerety - Desmond Timoney, Jane's father"
"Kat Dennings – Max Black"
"Beth Behrs – Caroline Channing"
"Garrett Morris – Earl Washington"
"Jonathan Kite – Oleg Golishevsky"
"Matthew Moy – Han "Bryce" Lee"
"Jennifer Coolidge – Sophie Kachinsky"
"Kiefer Sutherland - Martin Bohm"
"David Mazouz - Jacob "Jake" Bohm"
"Maria Bello - Lucy Robbins (season 2)"
"Lukas Haas - Calvin Norburg"
"Saxon Sharbino - Amelia "Amy" Robbins"
"Gugu Mbatha-Raw - Clea Hopkins (season 1)"
"Danny Glover - Professor Arthur Teller (season 1)"
"Saïd Taghmaoui - Guillermo Ortiz (season 2)"
"Jeff Daniels - Will McAvoy"
"Emily Mortimer - MacKenzie "Mac" McHale"
"John Gallagher - James "Jim" Harper"
"Alison Pill - Margaret "Maggie" Jordan"
"Thomas Sadoski - Don Keefer"
"Dev Patel - Neal Sampat"
"Olivia Munn - Sloan Sabbith"
"Sam Waterston - Charlie Skinner"
"Jane Fonda - Leona Lansing"
"Chris Messina - Reese Lansing"
"Krysten Ritter – Chloe"
"Dreama Walker – June Colburn"
"James Van Der Beek – James Van Der Beek"
"Liza Lapira – Robin"
"Michael Blaiklock – Eli Webber"
"Eric André – Mark Reynolds"
"Ray Ford – Luther Wilson"
"Debby Ryan - Jessie Prescott"
"Peyton List - Emma Ross"
"Cameron Boyce (died: July 6, 2019) - Luke Ross"
"Karan Brar - Ravi Ross"
"Skai Jackson - Zuri Ross"
"Kevin Chamberlin - Bertham Winkle"
"Molly Hagan - Angel"
"Ken Hudson Campbell - Animal"
"Rick Lawless - Wimp"
"Peter Mackenzie - Genius"
"Hank Azaria - Jay Nichols"
"Jane Sibbett - Heddy Newman"
"Yeardley Smith - Louise Fitzer"
"Jason Bernard - Mr. Paul Bracken"
"Edward Winter - Mr. Crawford"
"James Badge Dale - Will Travers"
"Jessica Collins - Margaret "Maggie" Young"
"Lauren Hodges - Tanya MacGaffin"
"Dallas Roberts - Miles Fiedler"
"Christopher Evan Welch - Grant Test"
"Arliss Howard - Kale Ingram"
"Miranda Richardson - Katherine Rhumor"
"Michael Cristofer - Truxton Spangler"
"Roger Robinson - Ed Bancroft"
"Peter Gerety - David Hadas"
"David Rasche - James Wheeler"
"Rami Malek - Elliot Alderson"
"Carly Chaikin - Darlene Alderson"
"Portia Doubleday - Angela Moss"
"Martin Wallström - Tyrell Wellick"
"Christian Slater - Mr. Robot"
"Michael Cristofer - Phillip Price"
"Grace Gummer - Dominique "Dom" DiPierro"
"BD Wong - Whiterose/Zhi Zhang"
"Bobby Cannavale - Irving"
"Elliot Villar - Fernando Vera"
"Ashlie Atkinson - Janice"
"Gloria Reuben - Dr. Krista Gordon"
"Michel Gill - Gideon Goddard"
"Ben Rappaport - Ollie Parker"
"Aaron Takahashi - Lloyd Chong"
"Frankie Shaw - Shayla Nico"
"Ron Cephas Jones - Leslie Romero"
"Sunita Mani - Shama "Trenton" Biswas"
"Azhar Khan - Sunil "Mobley" Markesh"
"Bruce Altman - Terry Colby"
"Michael Drayer - Francis "Cisco" Shaw"
"Jeremy Holm - Donald "Mr. Sutherland" Hoffman"
"Sakina Jaffrey - Antara Nayar"
"Joey Badass - Leon"
"Sandrine Holt - Susan Jacobs"
"Craig Robinson as Ray Heyworth"
"Rowan Blanchard – Riley Matthews"
"Ben Savage – Cory Matthews"
"Sabrina Carpenter – Maya Hart"
"Peyton Meyer – Lucas Friar"
"August Maturo – Auggie Matthews"
"Danielle Fishel – Topanga Matthews"
"Corey Fogelmanis – Farkle Minkus"
"Keri Russell - Felicity Porter"
"Scott Speedman - Ben Covington"
"Scott Foley - Noel Crane"
"Amy Jo Johnson - Julie Emrick"
"Tangi Miller - Elena Tyler"
"Greg Grunberg - Sean Blumberg"
"Amanda Foreman - Meghan Rotundi"
"Ian Gomez - Javier Clemente Quintata"
"Paul Giamatti - Charles "Chuck" Rhoades Jr."
"Damian Lewis - Robert "Bobby" Axelrod"
"Maggie Siff - Wendy Rhoades"
"Malin Åkerman - Lara Axelrod"
"Toby Leonard Moore - Bryan Connerty"
"David Costabile - Mike "Wags" Wagner"
"Condola Rashād - Kate Sacker"
"Asia Kate Dillon - Taylor Amber Mason"
"Jeffrey DeMunn - Charles Rhoades Sr."
"Tom Payne - Malcolm Bright"
"Lou Diamond Phillips - Gil Arroyo"
"Halston Sage - Ainsley Whitly"
"Aurora Perrineau - Dani Powell"
"Frank Harts - JT Tarmel"
"Keiko Agena - Edrisa Tanaka"
"Bellamy Young - Jessica Whitly"
"Michael Sheen - Martin Whitly"
"Michael Raymond-James - John Watkins"
"Armando Acevedo - Hector"
"Dermot Mulroney - Nicholas Endicott"
"Christian Borle - Friar Pete (season 2)"
"Catherine Zeta-Jones - Vivian Capshaw (season 2)"
"Amanda Warren - Deputy Inspector Regina Haywood"
"Kevin Rankin - Detective First Grade Tommy Killian"
"Richard Kind - Captain Stan Yenko"
"Elizabeth Rodriguez - Detective Second Grade Crystal Morales"
"Olivia Luccardi - Officer Brandy Quinlan"
"Lavel Schley - Officer Andre Bentley"
"Ruben Santiago-Hudson - Officer Marvin Sandeford"
"Jimmy Smits - Assistant Chief John Suarez"
"Isabel Sanford - Louise Jefferson"
"Sherman Hemsley - George Jefferson"
"Marla Gibbs - Florence Johnston"
"Roxie Roker - Helen Willis"
"Franklin Cover - Tom Willis"
"Paul Benedict - Harry Bentley"
"Mike Evans - Lionel Jefferson (seasons 1, 6-11)"
"Damon Evans - Lionel Jefferson (seasons 2-4)"
"Belinda Tolbert - Jenny Willis-Jefferson"
"Zara Cully - Olivia "Mother" Jefferson"
"Ned Wertimer - Ralph the Doorman"
"Danny Wells - Charlie the Bartender"