415 quotes found
"[in tiny print]: If you can read this, you don't need glasses."
"How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow? [Everyone On-Board: [raises hands; except one] Yo!] I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes! [lowers helmet] Keep firing, Assholes!"
"[Mr. Radar has just been "jammed" with raspberry.] There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: [pulls down helmet as camera zooms in on his face] Lone Starr! [camera slams into his face and knocks him out]"
"Now we'll show her who is in charge of this galaxy. [A soldier volunteers, but Helmet stops him] Hold it...I'll handle this personally. [Soldier: Jawohl, Lord Helmet!] So Princess Vespa, you thought you could outwit the imperious forces of Planet Spaceball. Well you were wrong. You are now our prisoner and you will be held captive until such time as all the air is transferred from your planet...to ours. [pauses, looking at the camera, then opens door, but finds nothing, then lifts helmet] She's not in there!"
"What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz?! Chicken?!!"
"Ludicrous Speed, Go!"
"[feeling the force of going at Ludicrous Speed] What have I done?! My brains are going into my feet!"
"Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with strawberries!"
"[ogling Dr. Philip Schlotckens' nurse] I bet she gives great helmet."
"1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"
"Commence operation [pause] "Vacu-Suck"!"
"You have the ring. And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now, let's see how well you handle it."
"[To Lone Starr] I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."
"Shit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted!"
"So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."
"Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago."
"[about the self-destruct cancellation button being out of order] Out of order?! Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!"
"Come back, you fat bearded bitch!"
"[After Barf, introduces himself, opening the emergency exit of the wedding car] Not in here, Mister. This is a Mercedes!"
"It's either the 4th of July or someone's trying to kill us!"
"We'll have none of that mister! How far did he get? What'd he touch?"
"Well... [sniffs] Goodbye, virgin alarm."
"Here I am! I'm sorry! I had to make a pit stop! I'm so excited that I couldn't hold my oil."
"That was my virgin alarm. It's programmed to go off before you do."
"[After beaming to the bridge, his head is on backwards] Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?!"
"[Commanderette Zircon calls him on a video monitor in his bathroom] I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall!"
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage! [Sandurz and Helmet look at each other in disbelief]"
"[Winded after running down the bridge] The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie will be over."
"[to Dark Helmet] Never have that damn thing down in front of me! How do I know that you're not making faces at me under that thing?"
"[When the self-destruct siren is going off] Where the hell are we, Paris?!?"
"Sandurz, Sandurz! You got to help me! I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions! I'm a president!"
"One pod left and three of us, and I'm the president. Well, boys, it's a very lovely ship; I think you should go down with it. Goodbye. What the hell's the matter with this seat belt? AHHH! [finding a bear already in the seat]"
"Spaceballs? Forget it, too dangerous. Besides, I'm already numero uno on Dark Helmet's hit list."
"YOU listen! On this ship, you are to refer to me as "idiot," not "you captain"! I mean - you know what I mean!"
"Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time. [Pauses, reads script {off-screen}]...Yeah."
"[waking up on the desert moon of Vega and surrounded by the Dinks] ...Did I miss something? When did we get to Disneyland?"
"[Talking to Barf after King Roland calls them to rescue Vespa] We're not just doing it for money...We're doing it for a shitload of money!"
"[Talking on the Winnebago intercom to the passengers] Buckle up back there, we're going into..."Hyperactive"!"
"Listen, you royal...highness. Take only what you need to survive. [Later, we see Lone Starr and Barf carrying the whole 'Royal Highness' Matched Luggage' across the desert...]"
"You know something, Princess? You're ugly when you're angry!"
"Look your highness, it's not that we're afraid, far from it. It's just that we've got this thing about death; it's not us."
"I'm a Mawg. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own best friend."
"[Indicating the suitcases] It's her royal highness's matched luggage!"
"Funny, she doesn't look Druish."
"[After Vespa blows away a group of Spaceballs] Holy shit!"
"Well, normally I would-- [tries to get up with his seatbelt still on] Oooh! That's gonna leave a mark."
"They've gone to plaid!"
"Nice dissolve."
"I'll have the cleavage, I mean the special."
"The s- That's what I ordered! Change my order to the soup! [Lone Starr: Good move.]"
"I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!"
"King Roland: Please bring her back safely! [pause] And if it's at all possible, try to save the car. [whispers] It's not insured..."
"King Roland: I'm breathing! Air! AIR!!!"
"Druidian Priest: Excuse me. I'm trying to conduct a wedding here which has nothing to do with love. Please be quiet!"
"Druidian Priest: We are here to join these two together in holy—MOLY!!"
"Dark Helmet, Skroob, and Sandurz: [watching Mega Maid vacuum up Druidia's air] Suck...suck...suck!"
"Captain of the Guard: You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!"
"Colonel Sandurz: It's Megamaid! She's gone from suck to blow!"
"Colonel Sandurz: [After discovering Dark Helmet playing with dolls] No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!"
"Colonel Sandurz: Attention! This is Colonel Sandurz in forward command! Abandon ship! Abandon ship!"
"Diner Patron: Water, my ass! Get this guy some Pepto Bismol!"
"Princess Vespa: It's my industrial-strength hair-dryer, and I can't live without it!"
"Pizza the Hutt: Where's my money?!"
"Placemat in Diner reads: Spaceballs the Placemat; one of several references to film merchandising."
"Newsman: On a sadder note, Pizza the Hutt was found dead earlier today in the back seat of his stretch limo. Evidently, the notorious gangster became locked in his car and ate himself to death. Coming up, Pongo's review of Rocky 5... Thousand!"
"Vinnie: [To Pizza the Hutt] Mmmmm! You're delicious."
"Princess Vespa: I'm not shooting this thing! I hate guns! [one of the incoming laser blasts singes part of her hair] My hair! He shot my hair! That son of a bitch! [Vespa proceeds to blast every guard Rambo-style]"
"The sign outside the church on Druidia first reads: "TODAY The royal wedding of Princess Vespa to Prince Valium TOMORROW BINGO""
"The sign outside the church on Druidia later reads: "TODAY The royal wedding of Princess Vespa to Prince Valium TAKE TWO""
"The bumper sticker on Spaceball One reads: "WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY""
"The bumper sticker on Eagle 5 reads: "I [heart] URANUS""
"President Skroob's sheet reads: "Spaceballs The Sheet"; yet another reference to film merchandising"
"President Skroob's toilet paper roll reads: "Spaceballs The Toilet Paper" on all the sheets."
"The license plate on Vespa's Mercedes reads: "SPOIL'D ROTT'N 1""
"The towel seen when Lone Starr and Dark Helmet fight reads: "Spaceballs the Towel""
"May The Schwartz Be With You."
"Once Upon A Time Warp In Deep Space, The Struggle Between The Nice & The Rotten Goes On..."
"Revenge Of The Schtick"
"OH NO! A SEQUEL MOVES!"
"Schwartz v.s Gremlins."
"Guess Who's Back?"
"Coming Soon....ish?!"
"Mel Brooks - President Skroob/Yogurt"
"Rick Moranis - Dark Helmet"
"Bill Pullman - Lone Starr"
"Daphne Zuniga - Princess Vespa"
"John Candy - Barfolemew 'Barf'"
"George Wyner - Colonel Sandurz"
"Joan Rivers - Dot Matrix (voice)"
"Dick Van Patten - King Roland"
"Michael Winslow - Radar Technician"
"Lorene Yarnell - Dot Matrix"
"John Hurt - Kane"
"Sal Viscuso - Radio Operator"
"Ronny Graham - Minister"
"Jim J. Bullock - Prince Valium"
"Leslie Bevis - Commanderette Zircon"
"Jim Jackman - Major Asshole"
"Dom DeLuise - Pizza the Hutt (voice)"
"Wile E. Coyote: “Your honor, I contend that the Road Runner has ignored the intended lethality of this Acme merchandise, committing numerous violations of...”"
"Granny: (bangs her hammer on her desk) “In English!”"
"Wile E. Coyote: “He won’t let me catch him.”"
"Granny: “PROVE it!”"
"Wile E. Coyote: “Allow me to demonstrate.”"
"Road Runner: “Meep, meep!”"
"Foghorn Leghorn: “Objection, I say objection, your Honor!”"
"Granny: “Overruled!” (to Wile E. Coyote) “Continue, Mr. Coyote.”"
"Bugs Bunny: (surprised) “Regis Philbin?!”"
"Granny: (somewhat angrily) “I don’t want him on this island!”"
"Wile E. Coyote: (after getting blown up) Can we take a recess?"
"Lovely girl. Lovely singer. Handy with a knife, too."
"She is the screen is new golden-voiced darling!!"
"The All-Time Big-Time Musical!!"
"Warner Bros.' Love-Time Musical!"
"Warner Bros. All-Time Love-Time Musical Smash!!"
"It is Warner is All-Time, Big-Time Easter-Time Show!"
"Jack Carson - Doug Blake"
"Doris Day - Martha Gibson"
"Lee Bowman - Gary Mitchell (singing voice was dubbed by Hal Derwin)"
"Adolphe Menjou - Thomas Hutchins"
"Eve Arden - Vivian Martin"
"S. Z. Sakall - Felix Hofer"
"Selena Royle - Freda Hofer"
"Edgar Kennedy - Uncle Charlie (final film role)"
"Sheldon Leonard - Grimes"
"Franklin Pangborn - Sourpuss Manager"
"Ada Leonard - Herself"
"Frankie Carle - Himself"
"Iris Adrian - Peggy"
"Mel Blanc - Bugs Bunny & Tweety Bird (voice)"
"Oh. How do you do? Nice of you to drop by me humble abode! My name is Bunny, Bugs Bunny, Esquire, to be exact! Eh. One of the Back-Bay Bunnies! Back-Bay of Brooklyn that is!"
"Now, one of the problems I always had with Aminators-- Animators--is that they can't ever seem to tell the differences between a rabbit and a mole. Very humiliating having to burrow your way wherever you want to go, and somehow, I always forgot to take that left turn at Albuquerque."
"Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds!"
"Of course you realize this means war."
"Of course you know this means war!"
"[to Bugs Bunny] You're despicable!"
"Rabbit Seasoning (a clip)"
"Hare-Way to the Stars"
"Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century"
"Robin Hood Daffy"
"Duck Amuck"
"Bully for Bugs"
"Ali Baba Bunny"
"Rabbit Fire"
"For Scent-imental Reasons"
"Long-Haired Hare"
"What's Opera, Doc?"
"Operation: Rabbit"
"Just call Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig, paranormalists at large. Spooks spooked, goblins gobbled, UFOs K.O.ed, aliens alienated, vampires evaporated, and monsters remonstrated."
"Well, I'm here, what have I missed? Massacre started yet. Fireworks going off? Balloon going up."
"[trying to sell a car] Right this way, folks, right this way! It's a bargain! Step right up and get yourself a brand new Dolorian! No household should be without one! Just sixty thousand dollars in three easy weekly installments. Yes sir, these little babies are selling like hotcakes! Plus, there's a free gift pack of ice-cold Billy Beer with each and every purchase!"
"[to Porky] Head on down to the Superstitious Mountains and do some more snooping."
"One thing's for sure, I have nowhere else to go but up."
"Cubish! [repeated line]"
"[to Sylvester] What is the matter with you? What are you? A schizophre... a schizodephre... a-a manic depressive or something?"
"[after Sylvester wrestles a stuffed moose that's trying to shoot Porky Pig] Sy-sy-sylvester! What are you trying to do, wake everybody in the house? Of all the screwball ideas. Fighting with stuffed animals"
"The Night of the Living Duck"
"Daffy Dilly"
"The Prize Pest"
"Water, Water Every Hare"
"Hyde and Go Tweet"
"Claws for Alarm"
"The Duxorcist"
"Transylvania 6-5000"
"The Abominable Snow Rabbit"
"Punch Trunk"
"Jumpin' Jupiter"
"[after Taz buzzes all the feathers off the crows] Hey! Am not y'all even going to 'prologize?"
"Ooh, that raggin-fraggin' rabbit. I'd like to stretch him on a raggin-braggin-fraggin' wrack. Row faster, you snaggle-toothed varmint, or I'll batten down yer barnacles!"
"I'll catch that rodent varmint! The only two things a pirate will run for is money and public office."
"I am the spirit of the Wishing Well. I do my best to please. The wish you made I grant to you. So here's a hunk of cheese."
"Your fondest wish, your fondest dream... ...I'll make you superduck supreme! (leading into Stupor Duck)"
"Patience is a virtue. Patience brings good luck. It is seldom found in humans... ...and *never* in a duck!"
"Your uncouth words have reached my ears. I reluctantly comply. This shabby little island... I shall transmogrify!"
"Harken closely to these words. This secret I must tell. Only he who owns the map... ...is possessor of the well!"
"Your wish shall be granted. Gaze into me and see. The next time that you see yourself... a nurse is what you'll be! (leading into Greedy for Tweety)"
"I hear you. State your wish. Drop in your penny or go fish."
"I am here to grant your wish, the spirit of the well. I will knock the cockiness out of that little cockerel. (leading into Banty Raids)"
"I grant your wish to meet a girl of beauty unsurpassed... which when compared with works of art... ...will leave the Louvre outclassed. (leading into Louvre Come Back to Me!)"
"If that's his wish and yours alike... ...I'll make Chester brave and strong, like Spike. (leading into Tree for Two)"
"Discovering new talent for the world to see... ...a wondrous thing for a producer to be. (leading into Curtain Razor)"
"Sylvester's wife: "Wishing well, O wishing well... ...you I do entreat. I wish our house would resound to... ...the patter of little feet." The Well: (Sylvester waves his hands around trying to get him to say no but has no luck) "I hear your wish and I obey. The patter of little feet you shall hear this day." (leading into A Mouse Divided; Sylvester's wife's dialogue included as she, like the Well, speaks her wish in rhyme)"
"Your mind is such a simple thing... ...your wish I can foretell. You're wishing for a husband, and the ring of a wedding bell. (leading into Of Rice and Hen/Lovelorn Leghorn)"
"A very rich relative in poor health... ...doth will to you his entire wealth. (leading into From Hare to Heir)"
"Out! Out, infidel! Pollute not my wholesome well."
"There are some wishes in the well, in truth, they number three. Use these three wishes wisely, friends, for they are the last there will be."
"And now, I say without a joke. That’s all, folks!"
"[during the beginning of the movie] Eh. An academy award winning cartoon short!"
"[after Knighty Knight Bugs ended.] 'Knighty Knight Bugs' was produced and directed by Friz Freleng. He got an Oscar and I got a carrot."
"Ah, this is Hollywood, city of winners. Winners of Oscars, Emmys and Grammys."
"Hare Trimmed"
"Roman Legion-Hare"
"Sahara Hare"
"Wild and Woolly Hare"
"Devil's Feud Cake"
"The Unmentionables"
"Golden Yeggs"
"Catty Cornered"
"Three Little Bops"
"Birds Anonymous"
"High Diving Hare"
"Show Biz Bugs"
"- Bugs Bunny, , Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, , , , , , King Arthur, Gerry the Idgit Dragon, Treasury Director, Judge, Cops, Clarence"
"- Granny (first act only)"
"- The Singing Narrator, Big Bad Wolf, Three Little Pigs"
"- The Narrator (The Unmentionables only)"
"Frank Nelson - Satan"
"Frank Welker - Reporter Dog, Lawyer"
"I am a cartoon."
"What in The Matrix hell?"
"[as "Michael Jordan" enters the locker room] Come on, man, that is Michael B. Jordan. The actor."
"Aahhh! I am shorter than Kevin Hart!"
"Well, Bugs Bunny, I need to assemble an elite team to help crush this Al-G guy. And I need to do it before that game clock runs down."
"I am Robin?!"
"Is that Harry Potter world?"
"I have been coaching you all this whole time. Sylvester over here getting the wrong MJ, Granny is out here having a martini on halftime, and Taz might as well be playing for the other team."
"[Sees The Brow from Goon Squad] Dang, what did they do to my boy, AD?"
"I like to remind myself who I am playing for. My family. And right now, it's all about Dom."
"[remembering what Dom said to him] "You never let me just… do me.""
"Bugs… time to do what you guys do best."
"Dom, your game is amazing, son. But I guess I would have known that if I would have listened more. Sorry I did not. For me, when I was a kid, the things that I went through to get where I am now, I had to be a certain way. [sighs] Yeah, it helped me win games, but not so much being a dad. I am still learning how. You are teaching me. I want you to be yourself. Do you understand how much I love you? Do you understand how important you are to me? How very special you are? I mean, I do not even know if I am saying this right."
"[hugs Dom] I love you too, son."
"[facing the enemy] I do not think so."
"[happily; to Bugs, who ended up in the real world] It is good to see you, buddy."
"Tune Squad on three. One, two, three… [all] Tune Squad!"
"[last line] What do you mean, “the whole gang”?"
"Like how Dom built a video game. He’s 12 and he built his own game."
"He does not need a coach. He needs his dad."
"[along with Darius and Xosha in the car arrives at the Gate two near the Warner Bros. Studios, Burbank.] Malik, you have zero seconds to tell me where my husband and my son are."
"[as she, Darius, and Xosha are transported into the Serververse] Whoa, what in the world?!"
"[to LeBron] You got to win this game and get our son back."
"[to Dom] I told you not to bring that out here."
"[about LeBron] How does he do that?"
"You make me hate basketball."
"You never let me do what I want to do. You never let me just… do me."
"[sadly] My entire character is gone. It is going to take me at least a week to rebuild."
"It was great. They really helped me out. Stored all the scans right on my phone."
"Come on, Dad. Why you gotta make everything so serious?"
"He’s not bad. He’s just sad because he works so hard and no one pays attention to him. He’s like me, Dad."
"I’m playing basketball. I thought you’d be happy."
"[laughs] What’s wrong, Al? That was awesome."
"Dad, what are you doing? We are in the middle of the game."
"Sounds right to me."
"[hugs LeBron] I love you, Dad."
"Mom! Hey, Xosha!"
"I got this, Dad."
"[confronts Al-G Rhythm and quits the job to not be member of the Goon Squad] I think you want people to fear you more than anything. And I am not about that, Al-G. I am playing with my dad."
"Yeah. I’m actually pretty excited."
"I think I’mma just take a break from video games for now. You know, after we…"
"What are you talking about?"
"Thank you, Dad."
"I think I’mma hold onto it."
"[repeated line; to LeBron] What is up, doc?"
"[sighs] Tune World is my home. It is the only place where I can be me, where I belong."
"What brings you to Tune World, doc?"
"So, you want me, a talking cartoon bunny, to play with you, an NBA superstar, in a high-stakes basketball game? [to the camera] Sounds awfully familiar."
"[after Al-G changes the Tunes from 2D to 3D] Al-G... THIS MEANS WAR."
"How big are these butts?"
"[to Daffy, annoyed, after Al-G says all the Tune will be deleted if they lose] You just could not keep your big beak shut."
"We're getting murderized!"
"You know something? If we are going out, we are going out looney. Let it go, team! All tooney, big Mooney, full looney!"
"[greetings to Dom] What is up, Dom?"
"Oh, it is on."
"In and out, crossover, step back, [Lola: Bugs, no!] SHOOT! [starts glitching]"
"[before he dies and rejuvenates] That's all folks."
"Aw, that is so sweet."
"[last lines] You can’t get rid of us now, Doc. We’re family!"
"An orphanage. Of course."
"Sam, shoot the ball. [Yosemite Sam literally shoots the ball with his two guns, making the other Looney Tune characters run away. When the smoke clears, Daffy is bill, bullet-riddled, is on the other side of his head] Let is try that again, shall we?"
"[sees his new 3D self in a suit] I look expensive."
"Well, that happened."
"I am not a betting duck, but my money is on the other team."
"We need a boost, a pick-me-up. [turns his beak back on his face] A secret weapon."
"[referring to Granny] She knows time is literally on their side, right?"
"That no-good despicable son of a glitch!"
"We couldn't get Michael A. Jordan, so we got Michael B. Jordan??"
"We will get your son back. I promise."
"[after being changed into her 3D style] What in the world?"
"The Tune Squad does not give up at halftime. The Tune Squad does not give up ever."
"I got you, Bron!"
"I got hops! Whoo! [slides across the court]"
"[to Dom] Oh, it is so nice to meet you."
"Can't a lady check her Twitter?"
"Oh, do not worry. Time is on our side."
"[referring to Chronos] I am going old-school on his butt."
"Tick-tock. [ages Chronos forward 132 years]"
"[holds a Tune Squad jersey number seven] I made this for your son, just in case."
"[referring to Al-G Rhythm] He is a bad guy."
"[slow-motion] Arriba!!! Arri-- Mi sombrero! Epa, epa, epa! Neo am not got nothing on me, bro! (Note: "mi sombrero" means "my hat" in Spanish)"
"Ooh, you got baggage, lady. I can relate."
"Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks!"
"[as Al-G changes him into his 3D style] I say, I say, cock-a-doodle-doo… not do that."
"I do not know if this counts as a miracle, but I found Michael Jordan! He was in the audience. I know he can help."
"I got her! I got her! [gets squished by Arachnneka] Ohh. She got me."
"[sits on an open cooler] Do not ask."
"Beep-beep!"
"[first words] I've searched far and wide for the perfect partner for this launch, and I've finally found him, LeBron James."
"[sighs] Pete, he’s a family man, an entrepreneur, a social media superstar with millions of fans worldwide. Algorithmically speaking, he’s more than an athlete. He’s a king."
"I know I’m just an algorithm, Pete. That’s precisely why I need King James."
"I’m stuck inside the Serververse. No one knows who I am or what I do. But that all changes today. Because today, Warner Bros. launches the revolutionary technology that I masterminded. Today, it’s my time to shine."
"Welcome, King James. I am the king of this domain."
"Hello. I'm Al-G Rhythm. And as you might have guessed, I'm an algorithm here at Warner Bros. The studio behind all the classics. But now, it's time for our greatest creation yet, Warner 3000. This will revolutionize the entire entertainment industry, and we want you to be on our team, King James. Now, we know you're busy, but we can make it very easy for you. Because our brand new Warner 3000 technology will scan you right into the movies. Oh, it's like looking into a mirror, huh, LeBron? Think about it, Batman vs. LeBron. LeBron of Thrones. LeBron and the Chamber of Secrets. The possibilities are endless. You'll be the king of Warner Bros. That's the power of Warner 3000. Say yes, LeBron, and together, we'll make mind-blowing entertainment forever."
"[furiously] AAH!!! WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS, HUH? REJECTING ME?! HUMILIATING ME?! [calms down] Okay. Alright. I tried bein' a team player, but those days are over. I'm done playin' by everybody else's rules. It is MY game now!"
"This is the Warner Bros. Serververse."
"The only way you're getting your son back is if you and I play a little game called basketball."
"Pete, send this clown to the rejects."
"No, Dom. No buts. [in distorted voice] You want your dad to respect you, you beat him in a game of your own creation. Dads don't understand reason, Dom. They understand power. You take the power. You gotta make him respect you. You make him see that you are special."
"Well, if it isn't the old-news Looney Tunes. Looking just as washed up as ever. You know what? I think it's time for an upgrade. [upgrades LeBron and the Looney Tunes into their 3D styles] Oh, they're alive! Alive! Oh, yeah. You're looking sharp, Looney Tunes."
"Let's get some butts in these seats!"
"It's game time!"
"Introducing the Goon Squad!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the first and final Serververse Classic! Oh! Let me tell you what. I know that you are all LeBron's biggest fans. And the King has had a great run, hasn't he? But that's over. That's done now. And it is time for a new king to take the throne! So let's lay down some basic rules. If King James wins, you all get to back to your regular, boring lives. But if my team wins, you all get to stay with me in the Serververse forever! How 'bout that, huh? Oh, yeah. Didn't see that coming, did you? Oh, boy. Oh, and I almost forgot, all of the Tunes will be deleted, so, pfft!"
"Oh, no! Are you kidding me? Road Runner Smoke Screen! It's the oldest trick in the book!"
"How did I lose control? I didn’t lose control. You lost… You… This one lost… I haven’t lost any…"
"Are you serious? Make a call, Pete! Oh, you wanna swallow your whistle? [grabs a chair throws to Pete swallow the whistle] Yeah! How'd that taste? Now call the game!"
"What do you mean, “What’s wrong?” They’re catching up. Run Dame Time."
"[as Granny beats Chronos] What in the AARP is going out here?"
"Hey, Dom! Are you a Tune or are you a Goon? Tune or Goon? Tune or Goon? Make up your mind. Make up your mind. Let's go. Sit down."
"Everyone happy, huh? Everybody - Everybody having a good time? Yeah? You having a lot of fun out there? 'Cause that's all what matters, right? Is that you're having fun? [yelling] THAT DOES NOT MATTER AT ALL! WHAT MATTERS THAT I WIN THIS [long bleep] GAME!! Oh, and you, Dom! HOW are you losing at your OWN game? [in distorted voice] FOR SERVER'S SAKE, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE! I expected a LOT more out of you, son! Get your head in the game! I need to WIN!!!"
"[in normal voice] Yeah. Maybe your dad was right about you. Letting you be you was a mistake."
"Okay. If everybody would move down, then we could all sit on the bench. Let’s all sit on the bench!"
"Are you serious? [holding the ball] [in distorted voice] ZIP IT! [looks at LeBron and Dom] You two are a joke, you know that?"
"Oh, what? You got something to say?"
"First of all, it's Mr. Rhythm to you, you little traitor. Second of all, you're not. You're playing against your dad. See what this says? “Goon Squad.” You already made your choice, Dom. Right, Pete? He can't… [see Pete whimpering] Pete, are you crying? [Pete wipe the tear in his eye] There's no crying in the Serververse, Pete! [scoffs, Dom walk backs away and joining the Tune Squad] All right. Yeah, all right. I see how it is, Dom. [in distorted voice] I see how it is. I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!!"
"Fine! [standing on the center court seeking revenge on Dom who scolded him join the Tune Squad] You want to join these losers? You go ahead, Dom. 'Cause it's not your game anymore, [in distorted voice] I am the game! KING KONG AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME!!"
"Yo, King! You're about to lose your family, your friends, those Tunes, and everything you love."
"That's cute. But I thought I told you. [snaps his fingers, forcing the ball out the net to take points away from the Tune Squad] It's my game now."
"Sic 'em, Goons."
"Incoming! Whoo! I'm a monster! We about to break the internet, baby! It's over!"
"Whoa! Where my Goons at? [White Mamba: Right here, Coach.]"
"Yeah, this is fun, huh? We should just do it again and again and again. Just over and over and over for all eternity. How's that sound?"
"That's cheating!"
"Great. Posterized."
"[last words] Oh, this is not how I wanted to go out!"
"White Mamba: What's up?"
"Wet Fire: Gimme that ball, rabbit!"
"Arachnneka: Eat that, eat that, eat that, eat that."
"The Brow: [confronts Tweety] Yeah. Bird versus baby bird."
"Chronos: [when Dame Time comes around] It's the King Stomper!"
": Looks like Wile E's gotten himself mixed up in the machine."
": Yes, I never doubted you for a second, LeBron! We are goin' home! [he and Ernie get teleported] Thank you so much! You are the Akron Hammer, the Chosen One! King James, man! [LeBron's followers get teleported too] I love you! [he cries joyfully] We going home!"
"Marvin the Martian: I claim this planet in the name of !"
"Fred Flintstone: Yabba Dabba Doo!"
"Yogi Bear: Hey, Boo-Boo!"
": I was just gettin' some popcorn and then this cat grabbed me."
"They're all Tuned up for a rematch."
"Get ready for the slam dunk of the summer."
"LeBron James — Himself"
"Don Cheadle — Al-G Rhythm"
"Cedric Joe — Dom James"
"Khris Davis — Malik"
"Sonequa Martin-Green — Kamiyah James"
"— Darius James"
"Harper Leigh Alexander — Xosha James"
"Xosha Roquemore — Shanice James"
"Ernie Johnson Jr. Lil Rel Howery — Game Announcers"
"Michael B. Jordan — Himself"
"Jeff Bergman — Bugs Bunny, Sylvester, Yosemite Sam"
"– Yogi Bear"
"Zendaya — Lola Bunny"
"Gabriel "Gaby" Iglesias — Speedy Gonzales"
"Eric Bauza — Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Foghorn Leghorn, Elmer Fudd, Marvin the Martian"
"Candy Milo — Granny"
"Bob Bergen — Tweety Bird"
"Jim Cummings (credited) and Fred Tatasciore — Tasmanian Devil"
"Rosario Dawson — Wonder Woman"
"Justin Roiland — Rick and Morty"
"Anthony Davis — The Brow"
"Damian Lillard — Chronos"
"Klay Thompson — Wet-Fire"
"Nneka Ogwumike — Arachnneka"
"Diana Taurasi — White Mamba"
"Kimberly D. Brooks"
"Tom Hanks — Polar Express Conductor"
"Frank Welker — Scooby-Doo, Astro"
"Will Forte — Shaggy Rogers"
"Gina Rodriguez — Velma Dinkley"
"Zac Efron — Fred Jones"
"Amanda Seyfried — Daphne Blake"
"Mark Wahlberg — Brian Crown / Blue Falcon"
"Ken Jeong — Dynomutt"
"Jason Isaacs — Dick Dastardly"
"Billy West — Muttley"
"Channing Tatum — Migo"
"We're not afraid of nothing."
"[as he gets attacked by the gum monster] I barely even know you!"
"[gives Petunia a script] Here's the script, catch up on your own time."
"I hope that shatterproof glass can withstand the abuse."
"Situation is under control."
"There's no possible way two capable characters like us should screw that up."
"I just wanna know what kind of firepower this sucker is packing."
"As long as we stick together, we'll be all right."
"Let's… get… LOONEY!!!"
"D-Daffy, I said no cracks."
"Daffy, you did it again!"
"Can I go back to my r-r-room now?"
"That's a good little chew toy. It's time for the next phase of my plan. Soon this tangy, juicy gum will force the doomed inhabitants of this helpless little planet to bow before me, and my superior intellect. Then, I will take their most precious resource and make it all mine!"
"Time to get rid of them once and for all!"
"THAT DUCK IS COMPLETELY MAD!!!"
"That is one looney duck."
"To save the world, they'll have to stick together."
"Bursting onto the big screen. (Daffy Duck)"
"About to blow up around the world. (Porky Pig)"
"It all started with a bang."
"— , Old Lady"
"— The Invader"
"— Farmer Jim, Scientist"
"— Mrs. Grechit"
"Ruth Clampett — Waitress Maude"
"— Floor Manager"
"— Coffee Shop Customer, Spaceship Computer Voice"
"— News Anchor, Gary"
"Rachel Butera — Town Kid"
"Pete Browngardt — Bully, Roofer Joe"
"Nick Simotas — Flavor Scientist Male, Theater Audience Guy"