431 quotes found
"Harry Potter (series)"
"Harry Potter (films)"
"Harry Potter and the Cursed Child"
"I have been careless, and so have been thwarted by luck and chance, those wreckers of all but the best laid plans."
"I don't think you're a waste of space...You saved my life."
"Saintlike. Get it, Fred? I'm holey."
"Pathetic, pathetic! With the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"
"Always the tone of surprise."
"And are they getting married in my bedroom? No! So why in the name of Merlin's saggy left -"
"How in the name of Merlin's pants have you managed to get your hands on those Horcrux books?"
"Which would be a real comfort to me, I'm sure."
"Then we'll have nothing to do except find Horcruxes … It'll be like a holiday, won't it?"
"Interesting theory. Has anyone ever tried sticking a sword into Voldemort? Maybe the Ministry should get some people onto that, instead of wasting their time stripping down Deluminators or covering up breakouts from Azkaban."
"You may wear that scar like a crown, Potter, but it is not up to a seventeen year-old boy to tell me how to do my job! It's time you learned some respect!"
"It's time you earned it."
""Ron, you know full well Harry and I were brought up by Muggles!", said Hermione. "We didn't hear stories like that when we were little, we heard 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' and 'Cinderella'—" "What's that, an illness?"' asked Ron."
"No. A brutal triple murder by the bridegroom's mother might put a bit of a damper on the wedding."
"She's seeing someone. Jealous type. Big bloke. You wouldn't want to cross him."
"Vot is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?"
"The letter was an incredible treasure, proof that Lily Potter had lived, really lived, that her warm hand had once moved across this parchment, tracing ink into these letters, these words, words about him, Harry, her son."
"My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?"
"I'd never have believed this. The man who taught me to fight Dementors - a coward."
"Fine, I'll stay here. Let me know if you ever defeat Voldemort, won't you?"
"Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."
"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."
""It doesn't mean defeating death in the way the Death Eaters mean it, Harry," said Hermione, her voice gentle. "It means... you know... living beyond death. Living after death." But they were not living, Harry thought: they were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that his parents' moldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing. And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot and then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off, or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them."
"You--complete-arse--Ronald--Weasley!"
"Are you referring to the symbol of The Deathly Hallows?"
"Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking..."
"Luna had decorated her bedroom ceiling with five beautifully painted faces: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. They were not moving as the portraits at Hogwarts moved, but there was a certain magic about them all the same; Harry thought they breathed. What appeared to be fine golden chains wove around the pictures, linking them together, but after examining them for a minute or so, Harry realized that the chains were actually one word, repeated a thousand times in golden ink: friends...friends...friends...friends... Harry felt a great rush of affection for Luna."
"They took my Luna and I don't know where she is, what they've done to her."
"I'd say that it's one short step from 'Wizards first' to 'Purebloods first,' and then to 'Death Eaters'. We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving."
"He can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."
"Thank you so much Dobby for rescuing me from that cellar. It’s so unfair that you had to die when you were so good and brave. I’ll always remember what you did for us. I hope you’re happy now."
"Here lies Dobby, a free elf"
"If there was a wizard of whom I would believe that they did not seek personal gain, it would be you, Harry Potter."
"So young, to be fighting so many."
"The wand chooses the wizard. That much has always been clear to those of us who have studied wandlore."
"'Arry, you saved my sister's life, I do not forget."
"I don't know how to break this to you...but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts."
"Didn't their stupidity and carelessness prove how unwise it was ever to trust?"
"Brains like that, you could be a Death Eater, son. Haven't I just proved my Patronus is a goat?"
"Secrets and lies, that's how we grew up, and Albus ... he was a natural."
"Look after 'em, then, I may not be able to save 'em a third time."
"Blimey, Neville, there's a time and a place for getting a smart mouth."
"The thing is, it helps when people stand up to them, it gives everyone hope. I used to notice that when you did it, Harry."
"Thing was, they bit off a bit more than they can chew with Gran. Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn't need to send anyone particularly powerful. Anyway, Dawlish is still in St. Mungo's and Gran's on the run."
"I think the answer is that a circle has no beginning."
"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."
"Into non-being, which is to say, everything."
"I see what Bellatrix meant, you need to really mean it."
"You'll do no more murder at Hogwarts!"
"Our headmaster is taking a short break."
"A little extra wisdom never goes amiss, Potter, but I hardly think it would be much use in this situation!"
"If you wish to leave with your students we shall not stop you, but if any of you attempt to sabotage our resistance or take up arms against us within this castle, then Horace, we duel to kill."
"The time has come for Slytherin House to decide upon its loyalties."
"They're supposed to be, you blithering idiot! Now go and do something constructive. Find Peeves! ...Yes, Peeves... Haven't you been complaining about him for a quarter of a century?"
"I was a fool! I was an idiot, I was a pompous prat, I was a - a -"
"He has, to use the common phrase, done a bunk."
"STOP! The Dark Lord wants him alive —"
"IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!"
"[Dueling the Minister of Magic] Hello, Minister! Did I mention I'm resigning?"
"Then he heard a terrible cry that pulled at his insides, that expressed agony of a kind neither flame nor curse could cause..."
"The world had ended, so why had the battle not ceased, the castle fallen silent in horror, and every combatant laid down their arms?"
"And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!"
"Look... at... me..."
"The green eyes found the black, but after a second something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, blank and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more."
"I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, then battle recommences. This time, I shall enter the fray myself, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me. One hour."
""Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!" Like my Dad."
"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
"Hide them all, then. Keep her - them - safe. Please."
"If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."
"You are a braver man by far than Igor Karakoff. You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon..."
"Would you like me to do it now? Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"
"You alone know whether it will damage your soul to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation. I ask this one great favor of you, Severus, because death is coming for me as surely as the Chudley Cannons will finish bottom of this year's league. I confess I should prefer a quick, painless exit, to the protracted and messy affair it will be, if, for instance, Greyback is involved … Or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it."
"Lately, only those whom I could not save."
"Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. "After all this time?" "Always," said Snape."
"Finally, the truth. Lying with his face pressed into the dusty carpet of the office where he had once thought he was learning the secrets of victory, Harry understood at last that he was not supposed to survive."
"The images of Fred, Lupin and Tonks lying dead in the Great Hall forced their way back into his mind's eye, and for a moment he could hardly breathe: Death was impatient...."
"People were moving around, trying to comfort each other, drinking, kneeling beside the dead, but he could not see any of the people he loved, no hint of Hermione, Ron, Ginny or any of the other Weasleys, no Luna. He felt he would have given all the time remaining to him for just one last look at them; but then, would he ever have had the strength to stop looking? It was better like this."
"But he was home. Hogwarts was the first and best home he had known. He and Voldemort and Snape, the abandoned boys, had all found home here..."
"I am about to die."
"You are nearly there, very close. We are... so proud of you."
"Dying? Not at all. Quicker and easier than falling asleep."
"I am sorry too. Sorry I will never know him … but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life."
"We are part of you. Invisible to anyone else."
"Harry Potter. 'The Boy Who Lived.'"
"Harry, you wonderful boy, you brave, brave man."
"That which Voldemort does not value, he takes no trouble to comprehend. Of house-elves and children's tales, of love, loyalty, and innocence, Voldemort knows and understands nothing. Nothing. That they all have a power beyond his own, a power beyond the reach of any magic, is a truth he has never grasped."
"If he could only have understood the precise and terrible power of that sacrifice, he would not, perhaps, have dared to touch your blood... But then, if he had been able to understand, he could not be Lord Voldemort, and might never have murdered at all."
"I have known for some time now, that you are the better man."
"We are in King's Cross, you say? I think that if you decided not to go back, you would be able to...let's say...board a train."
"By returning, you may ensure that fewer souls are maimed, fewer families are torn apart. If that seems to you a worthy goal, then we say good-bye for the present.""
"Power was my weakness and my temptation. It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."
"The true master does not run away from Death. He accepts that he must die and knows that there are far, far worse things in the living world than dying."
"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love."
"'Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?'"
"Harry Potter is dead! Do you understand now, deluded ones? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!"
"I'll join you when hell freezes over! Dumbledore's Army!"
"On your head, be it."
"There will be no more Sorting at Hogwarts School … The emblem, shield, and colors of my noble ancestor, Salazar Slytherin will suffice for everyone. Won't they, Neville Longbottom?"
"Fight! Fight! Fight for my Master, defender of house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord, in the name of brave Regulus! Fight!"
"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"
"There are no more Horcruxes. It's just you and me. Neither can live while the other survives, and one of us is about to leave for good..."
"...You crouched and sniveled behind the skirts of greater men and women, and permitted me to kill them for you."
"Is it love again? Dumbledore's favorite solution, love, which he claimed conquered death, though love did not stop him falling from the tower and breaking like an old waxwork? Love, which did not prevent me stamping out your Mudblood mother like a cockroach, Potter — and nobody seems to love you enough to run forward this time and take my curse. So what will stop you dying now when I strike?"
"It matters not! It matters not whether Snape was mine or Dumbledore's, or what petty obstacles they tried to put in my path. I crushed them as I crushed your mother, Snape's supposed great love. Oh, but it all makes sense, Potter, and in ways that you do not understand. Dumbledore was trying to keep the Elder Wand from me. He intended that Snape should be the true master of the wand. But I got there ahead of you, little boy -- I reached the wand before you could get your hands upon it. I understood the truth before you caught up. I killed Severus Snape three hours ago and the Elder Wand, the Death Stick, the Wand of Destiny is truly mine! Dumbledore's last plan went wrong, Harry Potter!"
"It's your one last chance, it's all you've got left...I've seen what you'll be otherwise...Be a man...try...Try for some remorse."
"So it all comes down to this, doesn’t it? Does the wand in your hand know its last master was Disarmed? Because if it does...I am the true master of the Elder Wand."
"Avada Kedavra!"
"Harry saw Voldemort's green jet meet his own spell, saw the Elder Wand fly high, dark against the sunrise, spinning across the enchanted ceiling like the head of Nagini, spinning through the air toward the master it would not kill, who had come to take full possession of it at last. And Harry, with the unerring skill of the Seeker, caught the wand in his free hand as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of the scarlet eyes rolling upward. Tom Riddle hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken, the white hands empty, the snakelike face vacant and unknowing. Voldemort was dead, killed by his own rebounding curse, and Harry stood with two wands in his hands, staring down at his enemy's shell."
"He spotted Ginny two tables away; she was sitting with her head on her mother's shoulder: there would be time to talk later, hours and days and maybe years in which to talk."
"We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one, And Voldy's gone moldy so now let's have fun!"
"Really gives a feeling for the scope and tragedy of the thing, doesn't it?"
"That wand's more trouble than it's worth. And quite honestly, I've had enough trouble for a life time."
"If you're not in Gryffindor, we'll disinherit you, but no pressure."
"Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank God you inherited your mother's brains."
"Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew."
"Don't let it worry you…It's me. I'm extremely famous."
"The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well."
"Master-I cannot hold him-my hands! My hands!"
"Just you and me, Harry Potter. You and me."
"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!"
"Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...Not Harry! Not Harry! Please-I'll do anything!"
"Is that right? Lord, is it? Well, I don't think much of your manners, My Lord. Turn 'round and face me like a man, why don't you?"
"I...escaped...must warn...must tell...see Dumbledore...my fault...all my fault...Bertha...dead...all my fault...my son...my fault...tell Dumbledore...Harry Potter...the Dark Lord...stronger...Harry Potter..."
"Dunno. Wands out, do you reckon?"
"Turned it into a Portkey. My master's plan worked. He is returned to power and I will be honoured by him beyond the dreams of wizards and witches."
"Come on, you can do better than that!"
"He'll kill me for losing the ring."
"I hope he looks like his papa."
"Severus...please..."
"Good luck, everyone! See you all in about an hour at the Burrow. On the count of three. One...two...THREE!"
"I...regret your attitude. You seem to think that the Ministry does not desire what you-what Dumbledore-desired. We ought to be working together."
"He move! I know not, I know not!"
"I do not know, I never knew, a young man-no-please-PLEASE!"
"Kill me, then, Voldemort! You will not win, you cannot win! The wand will never, ever be yours!"
"Stand back. Stand away from the door. I am coming in."
"Harry...Potter..."
"What the Devil are all you doing down here?! Thieves! COME QUICK!"
"Thieves! Thieves! Help! Thieves!"
"A...! s-small golden c-cup, m-my Lord..."
"Why doesn't Ginny stay here, then at least she'll be on the scene and know what's going on, but she won't be in the middle of the fighting."
"Have you seen Remus?"
"Like it hot, scum?"
"You actually are joking, Perce...I don't think I've heard you joke since you were-"
"Look...at...me..."
"You weren't."
"What will happen to your children once I've killed you? When Mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?"
"What is this magic?!"
"What are you doing? Stop! NO!"
"Bloody kids."
"I'm sure your parents would be very proud of you today."
"Who are you? What do you want?!"
"I'll be welcomed back like a hero!"
"Nice one, James!"
"Severus...please."
"Severus...Severus, please! We're friends..."
"On the count of three! One! Two! Three!"
"It was a boy. It was he who took it. I never saw it again. I swear on my life."
"Such a beautiful place, to be with friends. Dobby is happy to be with his friend, Harry Potter."
"It is the quality of ones convictions that determines success, not the number of followers. (Kingsley: "Who said that?") Me."
"It's Teddy who needs you."
"He'll sleep 'til dawn, and snore like his father. It's you that needs me tonight."
"[George: "You okay, Freddie?"] Yeah. [George: "Me too."]"
"Take it to the pensieve. Look at me. You have your mother's eyes."
"Harry. Harry, you are loved. You are so loved. Harry, Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Harry, be safe. Be strong."
"No! No, come back! Lucius! Come back! Come back and fight! Come back!"
"Ya! I killed Snape."
"...and it's true we have made some progress, but there is no reward for idleness. So just as the odious saloons have been banished...so now the pool halls, and these private parlours..."
"What is this?"
"Master, you...you're not strong enough."
"Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four!"
"I'm not leaving you."
"You've proved you can take on children, Malfoy. Care to fight like a man?!"
"Such a beautiful night...to be with friends. Dobby is happy...to be with his friend...Harry Potter..."
"I'll get you, Potter! You have no idea what I've learnt!"
"Take them...take my memories. You have your mother's eyes..."
"You should get off your feet more!"
"I'm scared."
"Tell Albus — tell Albus Severus — I'm proud he carries my name. Now go. Go."
"What's happening?"
"Nobody else is going to die. Not for me."
"I have to start finding these Horcruxes. [refers to Tom Riddle] They're our only chance to beat him, and the longer we stay here, the stronger he gets."
"I want to go to Godric's Hollow. It's where I was born. It's where my parents died."
"[as he and Hermione arrive at Godric's Hollow, refusing Hermione's advice to use Polyjuice Potion] This is where I was born. I'm not returning as someone else."
"[coming across the old Potter family cottage, where Voldemort killed his parents; to Hermione] This is where they died, Hermione. This is where he murdered them."
"Seems strange, mate. Dumbledore sends you off to find all these Horcruxes, but doesn't tell you how to destroy them. Doesn't that bother you?"
"[Referring to Hermione] We won't last two days without her. [pause] Don't tell her I said that."
"No, you don't know how it feels! Your parents are dead! You have no family!"
"Fine. I get it. I saw you two the other night."
"Please. Come back."
"[to Mary Cattermole while disguised as her husband] Mary, go home. Get the kids. We have to get out of the country, understand? Mary, do as I say!"
"[realizing something] We didn't celebrate your birthday, Harry! Ginny and I, we prepared a cake. We were going to bring it out at the end of the wedding."
"Actually, I'm highly logical which allows me to look past extraneous detail and perceive clearly that which others overlook."
"[whispering to Harry when she sees a mysterious figure watching them] Harry, there's someone watching us. By the church. [Harry: I think I know who that is.]"
"[Reading the Tale of the Three Brothers] "There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely winding road, at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too treacherous to pass, but being learned in the magical arts, the three brothers simply waved their wands and made a bridge. Before they could cross, however, they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. It was Death, and he felt cheated. Cheated because travelers would normally drown in the river, but Death was cunning. He pretended to congratulate the three brothers on their magic and said that each had earned a prize for having been clever enough to evade him. The oldest asked for a wand more powerful than any in existence, so Death fashioned him one from an elder tree that stood nearby. The second brother decided he wanted to humiliate Death even further and asked for the power to recall loved ones from the grave, so Death plucked a stone from the river and offered it to him. Finally, Death turned to the third brother. A humble man, he asked for something that would allow him to go forth from that place without being followed by Death. And so it was that Death reluctantly handed over his own Cloak of Invisibility. The first brother traveled to a distant village. While with the Elder Wand in hand, he killed a wizard with whom he had once quarreled. Drunk with the power that the Elder Wand had given him, he bragged of his invincibility. But that night, another wizard stole the wand and slit the brother's throat for good measure. And so Death took the first brother for his own. The second brother journeyed to his home, where he took the stone and turned it thrice in hand. To his delight, the girl he had once hoped to marry before her untimely death appeared before him. Yet, soon she turned sad and cold for she did not belong in the mortal world. Driven mad with hopeless longing, the second brother killed himself so as to join her. And so Death took the second brother. As for the third brother, Death searched for many years but was never able to find him. Only when he attained a great age did the youngest brother shed the Cloak of Invisibility and give it to his son. He then greeted Death as an old friend and went with him gladly, departing this life as equals.""
"Wormtail! Have I not spoken to you about keeping our guest quiet?!"
"As inspiring as I find your bloodlust, Bellatrix, I must be the one to kill Harry Potter."
"To those of you who do not know. We are joined tonight by Ms. Charity Burbage, who until recently, taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her specialty was Muggle Studies. It is Ms. Burbage's belief that Muggles are not so different from us. She would, given her way, have us mate with them. [Bellatrix gags in disgust] To her, the mixture of magical and Muggle blood is not an abomination, but something to be encouraged."
"Harry Potter. So long it's been."
"Dobby has come to rescue Harry Potter, of course. Dobby will always be there for Harry Potter."
"Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf. And Dobby has come to save Harry Potter and his friends!"
"[last words] Such a beautiful place, to be with friends. Dobby is happy to be with his friend, Harry Potter."
"Rufus Scrimgeour: [First lines] These are dark times, there is no denying. Our world has perhaps faced no greater threat than it does today. But I say this to our citizenry: We, ever your servants, will continue to defend your liberty and repel the forces that seek to take it from you! Your Ministry remains...strong."
"Bill Weasley: Mad-Eye's dead. Mundungus took one look at Voldemort and disapparated."
"Ollivander: [while being tortured by Voldemort] I believed a different wand would work, I swear!"
"Neville Longbottom: [Confronting Death Eaters on the train] Hey, losers, he isn't here."
"Xenophilius Lovegood: [draws a line] The Elder Wand, the most powerful wand ever made. [draws a circle] The Resurrection Stone. [draws a triangle] The Cloak of Invisibility. Together, they make the Deathly Hallows. Together, they make one master of death."
"Lucius Malfoy: [To Scabior] You dare to talk to me like that IN MY OWN HOUSE?!"
"Bellatrix Lestrange: [Ordering Narcissa to put both Harry and Ron in the cellar] Cissy, put the boys in the cellar! [To Hermione] I want to have a little conversation with this one, girl-to-girl!"
"The End Begins"
"Nowhere Is Safe"
"Part 1 of the Epic Finale"
"The Hunt Begins"
"Trust No One"
"Daniel Radcliffe - Harry Potter"
"Rupert Grint - Ron Weasley"
"Emma Watson - Hermione Granger"
"Helena Bonham Carter - Bellatrix Lestrange"
"Robbie Coltrane - Rubeus Hagrid"
"Toby Jones - Dobby (voice)"
"Warwick Davis - Griphook"
"Tom Felton - Draco Malfoy"
"Ralph Fiennes - Lord Voldemort"
"Ian McKellen - Albus Dumbledore"
"Brendan Gleeson - Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody"
"Richard Griffiths - Vernon Dursley"
"Robert Pattinson - Cedric Diggory"
"John Hurt - Garrick Ollivander"
"Rhys Ifans - Xenophilius Lovegood"
"Jason Isaacs - Lucius Malfoy"
"Bill Nighy - Rufus Scrimgeour"
"Alan Rickman - Severus Snape"
"Fiona Shaw - Petunia Dursley"
"Timothy Spall - Peter Pettigrew"
"Imelda Staunton - Dolores Umbridge"
"David Thewlis - Remus Lupin"
"Julie Walters - Molly Weasley"
"Mark Williams - Arthur Weasley"
"Domnhall Gleeson - Bill Weasley"
"George Harris - Kingsley Shacklebolt"
"James Phelps - Fred Weasley"
"Oliver Phelps - George Weasley"
"[facing Severus Snape in the Great Hall, coldly] It seems despite your exhaustive defensive strategies, you still have a bit of a security problem, Headmaster. [The members of the Order of the Phoenix enter the Great Hall] I'm afraid it's quite extensive. How dare you stand where he stood? Tell them how it happened that night! Tell them how you looked him in the eye, a man who trusted you, and killed him! Tell them!"
"There's a reason I can hear them…the Horcruxes. I think I've known for a while. And I think you have too."
"Come on, Tom. Let's finish this the way we started it. TOGETHER!"
"Albus Severus Potter, you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin, and he was the bravest man I've ever known."
"[About Griphook] That little git. At least we've still got Bogrod. [Bogrod gets incinerated to death by the Ukrainian Ironbelly dragon] That's unfortunate."
"[After Goyle attempted to kill Hermione with the Killing Curse in the Room of Requirement] That's my girlfriend, you numpties!"
"[about saving Malfoy and Blaise] If we die for them, Harry, I'm gonna KILL YOU!"
"[while disguised as Bellatrix] I wish to enter my vault."
"[talking about Aberforth] He did save our lives twice. Kept an eye on us in that mirror. [whispers to Harry] That doesn't seem like someone who's given up."
"[to Nagini, speaking in Parseltongue] The boy has discovered our secret, Nagini. It makes us vulnerable. We must deploy all our forces now to find him. And you, my friend, must stay close."
"[whispering to all of Hogwarts] I know that many of you will want to fight. Some of you may even think that to fight is wise. But this is folly. Give me Harry Potter. Do this and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave Hogwarts untouched. Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded. You have one hour."
"[watching as Hogwarts is protected by spells] They never learn. Such a pity."
"[to Nagini] Come, Nagini. I need to keep you safe."
"[whispering to all of Hogwarts] You have fought valiantly, but in vain. I do not wish this. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a terrible waste. I therefore command my forces to retreat. In their absence, dispose of your dead with dignity. Harry Potter, I now speak directly to you. On this night, you have allowed your friends to die for you, rather than face me yourself. There is no greater dishonor. Join me in the Forbidden Forest, and confront your fate. If you do not do this, I shall kill every last man, woman, and child who tries to conceal you from me."
"Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived...come to die. [pause] Avada Kedavra!"
"[last words, as Harry collects his tears] Take them to the Pensieve. Look at me. You have your mother's eyes. [dies]"
"Ollivander: The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. That much has always been clear to those of us who have studied wandlore."
"Luna Lovegood: I think it's best if you two talk alone. She's very shy."
"Lily Potter: [in Snape's memory] Harry, you are so loved, so loved. [Whispering] Harry, Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Harry, be safe. Be strong."
"Molly Weasley: [in anger towards Bellatrix for trying to hurt Ginny] Not my daughter, YOU BITCH!"
"It all ends."
"It all ends here."
"Nowhere is safe."
"The last enemy is death."
"Join me and confront your fate."
"Warwick Davis - Filius Flitwick"
"John Hurt - Mr. Ollivander"
"Kelly Macdonald - Helena Ravenclaw"
"Gary Oldman - Sirius Black"
"Maggie Smith - Minerva McGonagall"
"Matthew Lewis - Neville Longbottom"
"Evanna Lynch - Luna Lovegood"
"Bonnie Wright - Ginny Weasley"
"(portrait) Perfection is beyond the reach of humankind, beyond the reach of magic."
"(portrait) Those that we love never truly leave us, Harry. There are things that death cannot touch. Paint . . . and memory . . . and love."
"I'm not sure being fearless is going to be good for your health."
"So what would you like me to do? Magic myself popular? Conjure myself into a new house? Transfigure myself into a better student? Just cast a spell, Dad, and change me into what you want me to be, okay? It'll work better for both of us."
"I didn't choose, you know that? I didn't choose to be his son."
"I know what it is to be the spare"
"I am the new past. I am the new future. I am the answer this world has been looking for."
"It took me a long time to discover your weakness, Albus Potter. I thought it was pride, I thought it was the need to impress your father, but then I realised your weakness was the same as your father's - friendship."
"I'm being bossed around by Hermione Granger... And I'm mildly enjoying it."
"You -- the three of you -- you shone you know? You liked each other. You had fun. I envied you those friendships more than anything else"
"[When asked what he wanted to do growing up] Quidditch. But I wasn't good enough. Mainly I wanted to be happy."
"... And being alone -- that's so hard. I was alone. And it sent me to a truly dark place. For a long time. Tom Riddle was also a lonely child. You may not understand that, Harry, but I do ..."
"... It is exceptionally lonely, being Draco Malfoy. I will always be suspected. There is no escaping the past."
"[To Harry} People think they know all there is to know about you, but the best bits of you are– have always been– heroic in really quiet ways."
"[quoting Dumbledore] The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution."
"[weeping] I shouldn't have survived. It was my destiny to die - even Dumbledore thought so - and yet I lived. I beat Voldemort. All these people... all these people - my parents, Fred, the Fallen Fifty - and it's me that gets to live? How is that? All this damage, and it's my fault."
"The Boy Who Lived. How many people have to die for the Boy Who Lived?"
"My parents were dentists. I was bound to rebel at some point."
"Hello, Harry. Hello, Draco. Have you been bad boys again?"
"That feels good. Never used to enjoy that. But when you get to my age, you take what you can."
"The rumour is that he's Voldemort's son, Albus."
"[on his daughter, Rose] I have no idea where she gets her ambition from."
"Nothing scares me. Apart from Mum."
"I am probably the most chilled out of all of us and... so maybe transfiguring into him - into the Dark Lord - will do less damage to me than any of you more... intense people."
"Rubbish. Beautifully put but beautiful rubbish."
"I opened a book. Something which has - in all my years on this planet - never been a particularly dangerous activity."
"My geekness is a-quivering."
"The world changes, and we change with it. I am better off in this world. But the world is not better. And I don't want that."
"Okay. Hello. Um. Have we hugged before? Do we hug?"
"When Rose came up to me today in Potions and called me Bread Head I almost hugged her. No, there’s no almost about it, I actually tried to hug her, and then she kicked me in the shin."
"I mean, normally, being in lockdown, being in constant detention, it’d break me, but now — what’s the worst they can do? Bring back Moldy Voldy and have him torture me? Nope"
"I got his nose, his hair, and his name. Not that that's a great thing either. I mean — father-son issues, I have them. But, on the whole, I'd rather be a Malfoy than, you know, the son of the Dark Lord."
"[Imagining talking to a muggle] Hello, Mr. Stationmaster. Mr. Muggle. Question: Did you see a flying witch passing here? And by the way, what year is it"
"Tell Albus - tell Albus Severus - I'm proud he carries my name. Now go. Go."
"Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them."
"Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time."
""WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" It was….Dumbledore!"
"”Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall."
"In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood."
"We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)"
""What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him."
"AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!"
"Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!"
""Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped."
"Voldemort gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged."
""How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly."
"AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!"
"I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride."
"I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not."
"Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks. "EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it."
""Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly… Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk."
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"
"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. "Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. "Because I LOVE HER!"
"AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu!"
""That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely."
"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"
"We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. "STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else. "Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily. Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!""
"SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I"
""Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. "What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily. "Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time. He laughed in an evil voice. "No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged. "No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)"
"WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD."
""Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming!"
"He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything."
"We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!"
"B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) "It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily. Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said. "Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." "Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie."
""Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said. "Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic."
"Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!"
"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"
"Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE!"
"Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song."
"I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot."
"Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1 "Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps."
""WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)"
""WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him. "Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?" Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it."
"Draco was crying in da common room. "Draco are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice. "No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide. "Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly. "Ill make him feel better." "U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too. "Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)"
"And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand. "WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly."
"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."
"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge. "YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"
"MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her. "Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!"
"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1"
""No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other."
""No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling."
""No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision."
"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive. "No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"
"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."
""Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Sinister. "Bye bitch." I said waving."
"We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily. "OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively."
"Sire are dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem." Dubleodre started to cockle. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?" I glared at Dumbledore. "Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter). "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!" "Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?" I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon."
"He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them."
"Cum on Enoby." said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the fucking perdition."
"Then… I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4). I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif. We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it. "I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly…. "WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!" It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111"
""Oh my satan!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily. "CUM NOW!1!" Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket."
""No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… he came tords Darko!1!"
""What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!"
"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…. "Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio. "You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came. Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing."
""You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. "Fangs." I said."
""Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive. Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was….Tom Bombodil!1111"
""u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked. "yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili."
""What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled. "U will see." Draco giggled mistressly. He opened a door…Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife. "NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically."
"I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy. "Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation. "I luv u TaEbory." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol."
"Sorious cocked on da door. I hopened it. "Hi Ibony." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor's office.""
"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtily. "I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."
"Where r Draco and Vampira?" I muttered. "Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily. "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."
"Whose he!11" I asked. "Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn." Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher…..Ebony?" "Yah?" I asked. "Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."
""ORLY." I ESKED."
"Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums" he said ponting to him. "Snap plays the boss. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."
""Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly. "We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists." "Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped. "Its okay but we need a new led snigger." Samaro said. "Wel…..I said Im in a bnad myself." "Rilly?" asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111"
""Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?" Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day."
"I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans. "What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked. "I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby." he said siriusly Den….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111"
""OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Trevolry."
"We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn't there. Instead there was…Cornelio Fuck!11111 "Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily. "STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer. "Now do ur work!111""
""HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted. I looked around….Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily."
""Oh he's cumming." said Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now." Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie."
"Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 666 just lik Draco's car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), kuttting, musik and being goffik."
""Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly. And den…. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched. "Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a prep. "Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly…. I attaked her suking all her blood. "Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside."
"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally. "No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"
""OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally. "Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111"
""Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him. "Dis is…Hedwig!11" Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm. "Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b. "Lol hi Enoby." He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)"
"AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it? If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111"
""Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cockled. "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn't notece."
""You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went."
""Crucious!1" I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically."
"Draco began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. "Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry. I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasore. Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly….. ….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!11"
""Dat's mi car!" shooted Draco angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Snape!"
"What is da meaning of dis?" Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik. "Oh my goth!" Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik) "The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape ejaculated menacingly. "You fucking preppy fags!" Serious shouted angrily. "I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!" screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car."
""Save us Ebony!" Dumbledark cried. I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent. "ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted."
"Harry didn't see why Hermione had been so tense about it. In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist."
"When there was once more silence in the room, Harry sat on the stool and carefully placed onto his head the 800-year-old telepathic artefact of forgotten magic."
"When you walk past a bookshop you haven't visited before, you have to go in and look around. That's the family rule."
"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
"The Dark Lord is alive. Of course he's alive. It was an act of utter optimism for me to have even dreamed otherwise. I must have taken leave of my senses, I can't imagine what I was thinking. Just because someone said that his body was found burned to a crisp, I can't imagine why I would have thought he was dead. Clearly I have much left to learn about the art of proper pessimism."
"I am not going to be in Gryffindor –"
"I would be doing a great service to wizarding Britain, Mr. Potter, if I locked you in this vault and left you here."
"So here we part ways, for a time," Professor McGonagall said. She shook her head in wonderment. "This has been the strangest day of my life for... many a year. Since the day I learned that a child had defeated You-Know-Who. I wonder now, looking back, if that was the last reasonable day of the world."
""I..." Hermione's mind went blank for a moment. She loved tests but she'd never had a test like this before. Frantically, she tried to cast back for anything she'd read about what scientists were supposed to do. Her mind skipped gears, ground against itself, and spat back the instructions for doing a science investigation project:Step 1: Form a hypothesis. Step 2: Do an experiment to test your hypothesis. Step 3: Measure the results. Step 4: Make a cardboard poster."
"Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Happy happy boom boom swamp swamp swamp! Thank you!"
"Suppose you come into work and see your colleague kicking his desk. You think, 'what an angry person he must be'. Your colleague is thinking about how someone bumped him into a wall on the way to work and then shouted at him. Anyone would be angry at that, he thinks. When we look at others we see personality traits that explain their behaviour, but when we look at ourselves we see circumstances that explain our behaviour. People's stories make internal sense to them, from the inside, but we don't see people's histories trailing behind them in the air. We only see them in one situation, and we don't see what they would be like in a different situation. So the fundamental attribution error is that we explain by permanent, enduring traits what would be better explained by circumstance and context."
"Muggle researchers have found that people are always very optimistic, compared to reality. Like they say something will take two days and it takes ten days, or they say it'll take two months and it takes over thirty-five years. For example, in one experiment, they asked students for times by which they were 50% sure, 75% sure, and 99% sure they'd complete their homework, and only 13%, 19%, and 45% of the students finished by those times. And they found that the reason was that when they asked one group for their best-case estimates if everything went as well as possible, and another group for their average-case estimates if everything went as usual, they got back answers that were statistically indistinguishable. See, if you ask someone what they expect in the normal case, they visualise what looks like the line of maximum probability at each step along the way – everything going according to plan, with no surprises. But actually, since more than half the students didn't finish by the time they were 99% sure they'd be done, reality usually delivers results a little worse than the "worst-case scenario"."
"What you've just discovered is called 'positive bias'," said the boy. "You had a rule in your mind, and you kept on thinking of triplets that should make the rule say 'Yes'. But you didn't try to test any triplets that should make the rule say 'No'. In fact you didn't get a single 'No', so 'any three numbers' could have just as easily been the rule. It's sort of like how people imagine experiments that could confirm their hypotheses instead of trying to imagine experiments that could falsify them – that's not quite exactly the same mistake but it's close. You have to learn to look on the negative side of things, stare into the darkness. When this experiment is performed, only 20% of grownups get the answer right. And many of the others invent fantastically complicated hypotheses and put great confidence in their wrong answers since they've done so many experiments and everything came out like they expected."
"Slowly, Draco nodded. "You think you can master both arts, add the powers together, and..." Draco stared at Harry. "Make yourself Lord of the two worlds?""
"Dumbledore got himself under control again with a visible effort. "Ah, Harry, one symptom of the disease called wisdom is that you begin laughing at things that no one else thinks is funny, because when you're wise, Harry, you start getting the jokes!" The old wizard wiped tears away from his eyes. "Ah, me. Ah, me. Oft evil will shall evil mar indeed, in very deed.""