118 quotes found
"You know like numchuck (sic) skills...bowhunting skills...computer hacking skills...Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!"
"[looks at a wig] That one looks like a medieval warrior."
"I caught you a delicious bass."
"Do the chickens have large talons?"
"Pedro offers you his protection."
"Yeah, hold on...I forgot to put in the crystals."
"Yeah, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bo staff."
"[to Deb] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my nunchucks in there anymore."
"[while hitting a tetherball repeatedly] [hit] Yes! [hit] Yes! [hit] Yes!"
"[to Trisha over the phone] Really? It took me, like, 3 hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done."
"Are you guys having a killer time?"
"[to Deb] I like your sleeves...they're real big."
"[to Pedro] Just listen to your heart. That's what I do."
"What the heck are you even talking about?"
"You got like three feet of air that time. Can I try it really quick?"
"Tina, you fat lard! Come get some dinner! Tina, eat. Eat the food. EAT THE FOOD!"
"Tina, come get some ham!"
"Six dollars? That's like a dollar an hour!"
"Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys."
"[to Kip and LaFawnduh at wedding] I hope you guys' experiences are unforgettable."
"[last lines; to Kip and LaFawnduh who ride on the horse] Lucky!"
"[whispering while typing] I love the way your sandy hair floats in the air...To me it's like a lullaby...I'm just flying by...Oh so high...like a kite...tied to a stake."
"I'm just getting kinda TO'd. I mean, she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet."
"How 'bout some gold bracelets?"
"I've been out making some sweet moolah with Uncle Rico."
"Lafawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out."
"[singing to Lafawnduh after they are pronounced husband and wife] Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever...We met in a chat room, now our love can fully bloom...Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make me "salvivate"...Yes, I love technology, but not as much as you, you see...But I still love technology...Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to Heaven above...always and forever, always and forever...Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever..."
"Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruising my neck meat!"
"Geez, I think you ripped my mole off."
"You're just jealous 'cause I've been chatting online with babes all day."
"I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwon Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man. So come down today for your free-trial lesson!"
"My name is Rex. If you study with my eight-week program, you will learn the system of self-defense that I developed over two seasons fighting in the Octagon. It's called Rex Kwon Do. I need a volunteer..."
"Bow to your sensei. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!"
"Grab my arm. The other arm. MY other arm!"
"Just break the wrist, and walk away. Break the wrist; walk away."
"Now, in addition to what you just saw, if you study with my eight-week program, you're gonna learn these things. First off, at Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flyin' solo. You need somebody watchin' your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan here? [gestures at Napoleon] Take a look at what I'm wearin', people. [points to his American flag pants] You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? [points to a photo of his blonde, tan, muscular body-builder wife] Forget about it! Now, for only $300 dollars, you can sign up right now for my eight-week program."
"[to Rico, after he arrives home to find him trying to sell herbal breast enhancers to Starla] C'MERE, BOY!"
"How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?...Yeah...Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind."
"Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack! What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it."
"Your grandma took a spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx."
"Hey, you guys wanna see my video?"
"Kip, I reckon you know a lot about...cyberspace?"
"Billowy's good."
"How does the dealio sound now?"
"[her class president campaign speech] Well, I never thought I would make it here today. I would make a great class president because I promise to put two new pop machines in the cafeteria, and I'm also gonna get a glitter Bonne Bell dispenser for all the girls' bathrooms. Oh, and we're gonna get new cheerleading uniforms. Anyway, I think I'd be a great class president. So, who wants to eat chiminichangas next year? Not me. See, with me it will be summer all year long. Vote for Summer."
"[his class president campaign speech] I don't have much to say, but I think it would be good to have some Holy Santos brought to the high school, to guard the hallway and to bring us good luck. El Santo Niño de Atocha is a good one. My Aunt Concha has seen him. And we have a great FFA schedule lined up, and I'd like to see more of that. If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. Thank you."
"[fumbles with shotgun as he prepares to slaughter cow] Nothin' on here works smooth."
"[making small talk] Over there in that creek bed I found a couple of Shoshoni arrowheads."
"[officiating a wedding] I would like to give you this advice that a fellow gave me some years ago. He said, "When an argument arises, if you go outside and take a nice walk, you'll calm down and you can come back, and it won't be an argument. And you'll find that it helps your health; all that fresh air and exercise will do you a lot of good.""
"He's out to prove he's got nothing to prove."
"It's Gonna Be a Dynamite Summer"
"Same planet...different flippin' world."
"Jon Heder - Napoleon Dynamite"
"Efren Ramirez - Pedro Sanchez"
"Jon Gries - Uncle Rico"
"Aaron Ruell - Kip Dynamite"
"Diedrich Bader - Rex"
"Tina Majorino - Deb"
"Sandy Martin - Grandma"
"Haylie Duff - Summer Wheatly"
"Emily Kennard - Trisha Stevens"
"Trevor Snarr - Don"
"Shondrella Avery - LaFawnduh Lucas"
"Georgia Rule."
"For a smart girl, you're good at stupid."
"Life is a whole less surprising when its all planed out."
"She gave me oral sex… But we didn't kiss!"
"In this family, attitude doesn't skip a generation."
"Some families buckle under pressure...others bloom."
"Sometimes you have to lose your way to find your family."
"Jane Fonda - Georgia"
"Lindsay Lohan - Rachel"
"Felicity Huffman - Lilly"
"Dermot Mulroney - Simon"
"Garrett Hedlund - Harlan"
"Cary Elwes - Arnold"
"Any little fraulein who expects anything more from me than a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of danger, and a great set of pectorals, she's looking for a fall right on her ass."
"[to himself] She's so beautiful. And I'm the town liar."
"He took the job that no one wanted...and got the girl that everyone did."
"Maximum comedy at minimum wage!"
"Frank Whaley - Jim Dodge"
"Jennifer Connelly - Josie McClellan"
"Dermot Mulroney - Nestor Pyle"
"Kieran Mulroney - Gil Kinney"
"John M. Jackson - Bud Dodge"
"Jenny O'Hara - Dotty Dodge"
"Noble Willingham - Roger Roy McClellan"
"William Forsythe - the Store Custodian"
"John Candy (uncredited) - the manager of the Target store"
"There were once passageways to the old world; strange trails, hidden paths. You'd turn a corner and suddenly find yourself face-to-face with the great mystery, the foundation of all things. And even though that old world is gone now, even though it's been rolled up like a scroll and put somewhere, you can still feel the echo of it."
"Seeing Kate again felt as real as anything else in his life, even as he wondered if it really happened to him. He spent many days and evenings wandering the forests and fields of the region, looking for any sign of her. Though he found none, he spent the rest of his days waiting, so he would be there if she ever came back."
"When Robert Grainier died in his sleep sometime in November of 1968, his life ended as quietly as it had begun. He'd never purchased a firearm or spoken into a telephone. He had no idea who his parents might have been, and he left no heirs behind him. But on that spring day, as he misplaced all sense of up and down, he felt, at last, connected to it all."
"Newness of the experience."
"The world is intricately stitched together, boys. Every thread we pull, we will not know how it affects the design of things."
"We're but children on this earth pulling bolts out of the Ferris wheel, thinking ourselves to be gods."
"My family is everywhere there's a smiling face. Never been somewhere I didn't have some family there."
"Not too many folks I cross paths with more than once in this life. I see it is a blessing when they're brought back around."
"A tree was a friend if you let it alone. But the second the blade bit in, you had yourself a war and the tree was a killer."
"That's where all those myths come from, you know? All those flood stories. All those different religions all over the world. It's just the same story, different slants."
"You just go through what you go through."
"In the forest, every least thing's important. It's all threaded together. So you can't tell where one thing ends and another begins. If you really look at it, the little insects you can't even see, they play a role as vital as the river. The dead tree is as important as the living one. There must be something for us to learn from that."
"The world needs a hermit in the woods as much as a preacher in the pulpit."
"Joel Edgerton - Robert Grainier"
"Felicity Jones - Gladys Olding Grainier"
"Kerry Condon - Claire Thompson"
"William H. Macy - Arn Peeples"
"Will Patton - the narrator"
"Nathaniel Arcand - Ignatius Jack"
"John Diehl - Billy"
"Paul Schneider - Apostle Frank"
"Clifton Collins Jr. - Boomer"
"w:Alfred Hsing - Fu Sheng"
"Chuck Tucker - Silent Man"
"Rob Price - Curious Logger"
"Beau Charles - Young Logger"
"Johnny Arnoux - Kootenai Indian"
"John Patrick Lowrie - Mr. Sears"
"Branden Lindsay - Elijah Brown"