59 quotes found
"My grandfather used to say that good things take time, but great things happen all at once."
"[Talking about the coin he used to flip at the Super Bowl] It's really a commemorative coin."
"I AM NOT A BUS DRIVER!!! I DO NOT WORK FOR THE BUS COMPANY!!! ALL RIGHT?!!! I--I NEEDED A RIDE TO NEW MEXICO, SO I STOLE THIS UNIFORM!!! SEE THIS JACKET?!! THIS IS NOT MY JACKET!!! REMEMBER MARTY, THE BUS DRIVER?!! HUH?!! THIS IS HIS SHIRT!!! I STOLE IT!!! AND THESE PANTS, YOU THINK I'D WEAR THESE PANTS?!!! THESE AREN'T MY PANTS!!! THESE ARE MARTY'S PANTS!!! I STOLE THEM!!! I AM NOT...a bus driver!"
"[Looking at a map, a plane lands behind him] Where the hell is the airport?!"
"[When he and Duane accidentally drive into the middle of a monster truck rally] WHEY DA FU AR WEY?!"
"[To Duane] Duane, Mom's watching 'ou from 'eaven righ' now. Wha' would 'he doo? For starving children, Duane. 'O it for mom."
"Oh good! A scam!!"
"[to Owen] I knew I recognized you, you're the referee, the bonehead!"
"We should've bought a squirrel."
"They're always pissed, honey. They're Nazis, it's like it's their job."
"[to the biker]Hi! [his tongue slips]I really like you dike- bike. [he tries to laugh it off, but the biker whistles behind her, and several other bikers appear, ready to attack]"
"Are you insane?! This is Hitler's car! [the bikers continue to attack the car and force it off the road, causing it to crash into a Veterans' gathering. Randy's philtrum collides with the wheel and smears itself with its paint, making it look like Randy has Hitler's mustache, much to the shock of the veterans]"
"I do NOT want to work at Home Depot!"
"You drink these up, then we're gonna return the Nazi-mobile. And then we'll get the van fixed and we'll go back to Vegas and see David Copperfield! Yay!"
"Bev, Bev, wake... Come on. Wake up. Wake up. Bev, wake up. Wake up. Third Reich's here. Come on. Get down. You wanna have a nice life. Okay, okay. Think. Think. SS in the parking lot."
"Dad, I don't have to pee, it's number two!"
"Dad, I'm prairie-dogging!"
"Look dad, I'm Mrs. Hitler!"
"Dad, it's been a living hell."
"Excuse me. Thank you all for coming. I'm Donald Sinclair, I own this hotel. We don't have much time. There's a meteor the size of North Carolina heading straight for Earth. The impact is going to kill every thing and everyone on this planet. I built a bunker in the basement to this casino strong enough to withstand the blast. There's room enough for eight people. I have chosen the seven of you, plus me. When this is over, it'll be up to us to repopulate and re-civilize the planet. [Everyone looks shocked for about five seconds, before Sinclair begins laughing hysterically] I'm sorry. I couldn't resist!"
"You haven't missed much, we're just cutting to the chase [Chuckles] "Cutting to the chase" [Laughs hysterically, then sees everyone else is silent] Eh, you'll all laugh later."
"Now, as you all know, the odds of winning the state lottery or a jackpot at one of our casinos are astronomical, I mean, millions-to-one; the average sensible person doesn't even bother. However, today you have the chance of playing a game where the odds of winning are one-in-six. One...in...six. That's one throw...[Tosses a dice onto the table] of the dice."
"[to Owen] I can do anything I want Nick. I'm eccentric! [growls like a tiger] Go!"
"Theoretically, you have been racing for about 40 seconds now, and so far, Mr. Schaefer is winning, because he's nearest to the door!"
"And, they're off!"
"[Entering room] Am I too late? Look I won a coin! A gold coin! [looks around] Uh, isn't this wonderful? Look at this room. What a beautiful room! Have you seen this room?"
"[Introducing himself] I am Enrico Polinni. Now I know what you are thinking, Enrico is a girl's name. No pun intended."
"I am getting goose pimples."
"It's a race! It's a race! I hope I win!"
"Is a race! I am winning, I am winning! [slows down and falls asleep standing up in the middle of the hotel lobby]"
"I make a joke to help you forget how screwed you are."
"Hey look! A drifter! Let's kill him!"
"563 miles. 9 people. $2 million. 1001 problems!"
"Make a Dash, for the Cash"
"Join the Race August 2001"
"John Cleese as Donald P. Sinclair"
"Breckin Meyer as Nick Schaffer"
"Amy Smart as Tracy Faucet"
"Cuba Gooding Jr. as Owen Templeton"
"Seth Green as Duane Cody"
"Vince Vieluf as Blaine Cody"
"Whoopi Goldberg as Vera Baker"
"Lanai Chapman as Merrill Baker Jennings"
"Jon Lovitz as Randall 'Randy' Pear"
"Kathy Najimy as Beverly 'Bev' Pear"
"Brody Smith as Jason Pear"
"Jillian Marie Hubert as Kimberly Pear"
"Rowan Atkinson as Enrico Pollini"
"Dave Thomas as Harold Grisham"
"Wayne Knight as Zack Mallozzi"
"Silas Weir Mitchell as Lloyd the Locksmith"
"Paul Rodriguez as Gus the Cabbie"
"Dean Cain as Shawn Kent"
"Nick Schaffer and His love interest Tracy Faucet"
"Owen Templeton"
"The Cody Brothers: Duane & Blaine"
"Vera Baker and Her biological daughter Merrill Jennings"
"The Pear Family: Randy, Bev (wife), Jason (son) & Kimberly (daughter)"
"Enrico Pollini"