105 quotes found
"So, okay, you're probably going, "Is this, like, a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl."
"Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials."
"[repeated line] As if!"
"Suddenly, a dark cloud settled over first period. I got a C in Debate?!"
"Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972."
"Wasn't my mom a Betty? She died when I was just a baby. A fluke accident during a routine liposuction."
"[arguing her way out of a tardy] Mr. Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'."
"[to Dionne, about Mr. Hall and Miss Geist] Will you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That's an unequivocal sex invite."
"[to Elton] You are a snob and a half."
"So, okay. I don't wanna be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, c'mon, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants, and take their greasy hair—ew!—and cover it up with a backwards cap and, like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so!"
"Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie."
"So, okay. The Attorney General says there's too much violence on TV, and that should stop. Even if you took out all the violent shows, you could still see the news. So until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value."
"Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good. Also, sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds guys of being naked, and then they think of sex."
"[after she and Josh kiss] Well, you can guess what happened next. [scene changes to Mr. Hall and Miss Geist's wedding] As if! I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky."
"Sex. Clothes. Popularity. Is there a problem here?"
"Sex. Clothes. Popularity. Whatever."
"Alicia Silverstone – Cher Horowitz"
"Stacey Dash – Dionne Davenport"
"Brittany Murphy – Tai Fraiser"
"Paul Rudd – Josh Lucas"
"Donald Faison – Murray"
"Elisa Donovan – Amber Mariens"
"Breckin Meyer – Travis Birkenstock"
"Jeremy Sisto – Elton Tiscia"
"Dan Hedaya – Mel Horowitz"
"Wallace Shawn – Mr. Wendell Hall"
"Twink Caplan – Miss Toby Geist"
"Justin Walker – Christian Stovitz"
"I have been so blind."
"Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony which is why I shall end up an old maid."
"Mr Darcy? I'd more easily forgive his vanity had he not wounded mine. But no matter. I doubt we shall ever speak again."
"Perfectly tolerable, I daresay, but not handsome enough to tempt me."
"You can only have two motives, Caroline, and I would not interfere with either."
"Miss Elizabeth, I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past few months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you. I had to see you."
"In vain I have struggled this will not do, allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
"You are mistaken; I write rather slowly."
"You must know, surely you must know, it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I would have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love... I love... I love you. And I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."
"A romance ahead of its time."
"Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you can't be without."
"This holiday season, experience the greatest love story of all time."
"Keira Knightley — Elizabeth 'Lizzy' Bennet"
"Matthew Macfadyen — Mr. Darcy"
"Donald Sutherland — Mr. Bennet"
"Brenda Blethyn — Mrs. Bennet"
"Rosamund Pike — Jane Bennet"
"Talulah Riley — Mary Bennet"
"Carey Mulligan — Kitty Bennet"
"Jena Malone — Lydia Bennet"
"Claudie Blakley — Charlotte Lucas"
"Simon Woods — Mr. Bingley"
"Kelly Reilly — Caroline Bingley"
"Tom Hollander — Mr. Collins"
"Judi Dench — Lady Catherine de Bourgh"
"It all began on New Years day, in my 32nd year of being single. Once again I found myself on my own and going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet. Every year she tries to fix me up with some bushy-haired, middle-aged bore, and I feared this year would be no exception."
"My mum, a strange creature from the time when gherkins were still the height of sophistication."
"And that was it. Right there. Right there, that was the moment. I suddenly realised that unless something changed soon I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine... and I'd finally die, fat and alone, and be found three weeks later half-eaten by alsatians. Or I was about to turn into Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction."
"Resolution number one: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: Equally important, will find nice, sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts. And especially will not fantasise about a particular person who embodies all these things... Unfortunately he just happens to be my boss, editor in chief Daniel Cleaver, and for various slightly unfair reasons relating to this year's Christmas party I suspect he does not fantasize about me."
"Daily call from Jude. Best friend. Head of investment at Brightlings Bank, who spends most of her time trapped in the ladies' room crying over fuckwit boyfriend."
"Shazzer. Journalist. Likes to say "fuck". A lot."
"Tom, 80's pop icon who only wrote one hit record then retired because he found that one record was quite enough to get him laid for the whole of the 90's. Total poof, of course."
"Major dilemma. If actually do, by some terrible chance, end up in flagrante surely these would be most attractive at crucial moment. [holds up thong] However, chances of reaching crucial moment greatly increased by wearing these; scary stomach-holding-in pants very popular with grannies the world over. Tricky. Very tricky."
"[Answering phone] Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Mum... hi."
"At times like this, continuing with one's life seems impossible... and eating the entire contents of one's fridge seems inevitable. I have two choices: to give up and accept permanent state of spinsterhood and eventual eating by alsatians, or not. And this time I choose not. I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect! Instead, I choose vodka. And Chaka Khan."
"[Rummaging through her fridge] Where the fuck is the fucking tuna?"
"It's Monday morning, Bridget has woken up with a headache, a hangover and her boss."
"Uninhibited. Uncensored. Unmarried."
"For anyone who's ever been set up, stood up or felt up."
"Aloof. Unavailable. Ice queen. – Aloof. Unavailable. Ice queen. – Aloof. Unavailable. Ice queen. – quite fancy a snog though..."
"All women keep score... Only the great ones put it in writing."
"Renée Zellweger — Bridget Jones"
"Colin Firth — Mark Darcy"
"Hugh Grant — Daniel Cleaver"
"Gemma Jones — Bridget's Mother"
"Jim Broadbent — Bridget's Father"
"Felicity Montagu — Perpetua"
"Sally Phillips — Shazzer"
"James Callis — Tom"
"Paul Brooke — Mr. Fitzherbert"
"Celia Imrie — Una Alconbury"
"James Faulkner — Uncle Geoffrey"
"What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering? For weeks, Marianne, I've had this pressing on me without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature. It was forced on me by the very person whose prior claims ruined all my hope. I have endured her exaltation again and again whilst knowing myself to be divided from Edward forever. Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you."
"Can he love her? Can the soul really be satisfied with such polite affections? To love is to burn, to be on fire. Like Juliet or Guinevere or Eloise."
"(quoting William Shakespeare) "Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken""
"Fanny: People always live forever when there is an annuity to be paid them."
"Lose your heart and come to your senses."
"Emma Thompson - Elinor Dashwood"
"Kate Winslet - Marianne Dashwood"
"Alan Rickman - Col. Christopher Brandon"
"Hugh Grant - Edward Ferrars"
"Emilie François - Margaret Dashwood"
"Elizabeth Spriggs - Mrs. Jennings"
"Robert Hardy - Sir John Middleton"
"Ian Brimble - Thomas"
"Isabelle Amyes - Betsy"
"Greg Wise - John Willoughby"
"Alexander John - Curate"
"Imelda Staunton - Charlotte Jennings Palmer"
"Imogen Stubbs - Lucy Steele"
"Hugh Laurie - Mr Palmer"
"Allan Mitchell - Pigeon"
"Josephine Gradwell - Maid to Mrs. Jennings"
"Richard Lumsden - Robert Ferrars"
"Lone Vidahl - Miss Grey"
"Oliver Ford Davies - Doctor Harris"
"Eleanor McCready - Mrs. Bunting"