435 quotes found
"[after paralyzing Coco] Sleep, my insipid angel..."
"It's true, blondes do have more fun!"
"Surprised to see me, Crash? Like the fleas in your fur, I keep coming back! Three years, I spent alone in the frozen Antarctic wastes... and I missed you. And so I've organized a little gathering, like a birthday party, except... the exact opposite... and look, all of your friends are here... You are so very popular. Let's start handing out the presents."
"Yes! The crystal is mine! [Crash gazes into the crystal and walks a little closer; screams] Keep back, you weak-minded fool! Avert your gaze or you'll go crystal-crazy!"
"Living in harmony with Mother Nature, the noble boar, the humble bumblebee."
"Crash, I've been like a father to you! I created you, nursed you... tried to destroy you..."
"In the dark ocean of my intellect swims a magnificent whale of a plan!"
"Sleep soundly, Nina, and don't fear the night, with its large claws that scratch and its sharp teeth that bite! Under the covers, there's no need to hide, for your uncle's the monster and he's on your side!"
"[after getting stuck inside a pipe] I'm stuck! The greatest evil scientist in the world... stuck in a pipe. How could things get any worse? [he farts inside the pipe and then whines]"
"[as throwing bombs on Crash during his fake birthday party] This is from Tiny, this is from Dingodile… Ripper Roo, you shouldn't have! Pinstripe, how thoughtful! Oh, dear, 2 of the same! But don't worry, I kept the receipt."
"Here's one gift you can return!"
"Meet your brand new, hydraulically operated, twin brother, Mecha Bandicoot!"
"I've ruined the lives of so many! I can't be expected to remember them all!"
"Throw me over there. Trust me. We're pals right?"
"This is where we wrong the rights, and sweep the past under the rug..."
"Come now, as we explore a new dimension! [sheepishly] It should've been two new dimensions, but we... ran out of time..."
"[to a penguin] The check bounced? Are you sure? Well, those past few years have kinda been slow. Wrath of Cortex didn't do as well as we hoped..."
"True. Now... PLAYTIME IS OVER!! Victor, Moritz! Back in your cage, you naughty boys!"
"You know, Crash. For all these years, I've been wrong about you. Your creation was a mistake, and your existence has been a constant reminder of that mistake, but I learned something from all of this: I learned that you can't run away from your mistakes… but you can bury them! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR RIDICULOUS FACE AGAIN!!!"
"[after the Psychetron malfunctions and teleports Cortex in Crash's brain] Where am I? What is this?! [looks around and finds himself surrounded by numerous personifications of Crash who start dancing. Cortex screams in panic and starts crying]"
"Oh, how I hate bandicoots."
"My, my! Can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you, or kill you!"
"[responding to Aku Aku] I like a challenge. I accept! This should be fun!"
"[to Cortex] Such a big head, such a tiny brain!"
"Victor: Cower, you fools, before the awesome might of... the Evil Twins!"
"Moritz: Catch you later, brainiac!"
"Moritz: See you around, losers! Hey, is it lunchtime yet?"
"Victor: You see? This is why nobody likes you. A curse on you, Crash Bandicoot! A curse on you all!"
"Victor: That's it, Cortex! You wanna make up for lost time and play with your pets?! So be it!"
"Victor: Well, this is one heck of an ending."
"Victor: So, this is how the rich and ugly fly?"
"Victor: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just skip to the good bit."
"Dingodile: Treasure, eh? Bonza!"
"Madame Amberley: Zo, cry-baby Cortex is all grown up. I see you've found employment as a barber."
"Rusty Walrus: Ah, yummy! Fresh meat for my pot!"
"Aku Aku: It is I, Aku Aku! My duty is to protect you. You may summon me by breaking open these crates. Call me thrice and I shall grant you special powers!"
"Doctor Nefarious Tropy: The rats are leaving the sinking ship."
"Skunk: Hey, hey, hey! Yeah, you! I've been doing this for 10 stinkin' years! Back and forth, back and forth... AND I'M SICK OF IT! Well, I'm not gonna do it no more!"
"Rusty Walrus: Come back here, naughty meat!"
"Madame Amberley: Are you going to cry, cry-baby?"
"They're working together, but they don't have to like it!"
"Lex Lang: Dr. Neo Cortex"
"Debi Derryberry: Coco and Young Dr. Neo Cortex"
"Quinton Flynn: The Evil Twins, N. Gin, a skunk and a penguin"
"Mel Winkler: Aku Aku and tribesmen"
"Dwight Schultz: Papu Papu, Dingodile, Rusty Walrus and a tribesmen"
"Alex Fernandez: Ernest the farmer and Uka Uka"
"Susan Silo: Madame Amberley and Nina Cortex"
"Michael Ensign: Doctor Nefarious Tropy and a tribesmen"
"I'll deal with them. I have been fighting evil for many centuries!"
"Dark magic is behind these creatures. Strange things are afoot!"
"Yes, I know I don't have feet. Let's just go already!"
"Listen up, corn dog. You help us or Crash will give you some knuckle music."
"No, probably not food, Crash. A bad treat!"
"Will you stop scratching your butt?"
"Crash, help me get this gizmo working! At long last, the world will have a way to recycle butter!"
"Your... hair is dumb!"
"Whip her butt, and then we'll get pancakes with cherry topping!"
"Now we have to stop the Dominator before it destroys Wumpa Island!"
"Is... Is this thing on? Yeah? Ha ha! I'm back, babies! Surrender to Cortex!"
"Hey, genius. I can't actually hear you. I'm really far away and I'm flying like a hovercraft or something."
"I'm off to do bad things! Ta ta!"
"Crash, you gullible fool! You walked right into my trap. Now I'll have you and the Mojo!"
"You terrible, ungrateful child! You'll never get away with this."
"Ohh, your going to get some punchie-punch NOW! CRASH, come over here and take out this terrible excuse for a niece."
"Oh gross, get a room."
"Oh, Nina... betraying me is the most vile, evil thing you could have ever done. You are a skank! I'm so proud of you right now."
"I'm still going to spank you stupid for this!"
"How long have had that in your pants?"
"Not that guy! I liked that guy! As a friend..."
"Stop helping him! Snap out of it!"
"You were my favorite!"
"Oh, I hope Crash tries. I really do. After all, I need a new fur coat. [laughs]"
"Get to work on the Dominator! Make more mutant soldiers! I want Wumpa Island smashed flat!"
"What? Spit it out, kindling-face!"
"Crash and Aku Aku are here? Oh, I'll take blondie and make her finish working on the robot. You, stay behind and kill Crash."
"And as for you, I really didn't want to do this myself. I really wanted one of my idiot underlings to destroy you. I really didn't want to get hair all over my clothes! But if you want something done right, USE A GIANT SPIDER-BOT!"
"The minion that defeats Crash gets a $20 gift certificate for ice cream! I'm talking Moose Tracks."
"Oh god! Now there's fur everywhere."
"Cut it out! You'll chip the paint."
"Hey, what did I ever do to you? And you're fat!"
"Even Coco's snappy dialogue hurts more than that!"
"No fair. I'm supposed to win! I even cheat!"
"Yeah, you should see Mother Cortex... she's gross like trance music!"
"Save the robot or all my evil treachery was in vain!"
"You dare raise a hand to me? You insect!"
"Why did you rescue me? I betrayed you, took over your evil plan, and then failed."
"Thank you, master!"
"Argh! Thank you again!! Hotter than the first!"
"Ah, come on. He didn't even have a cup."
"That's right, tough guy! Unless you want to buy a new stationery, you respect the master!!"
"Crash, you fool! You are too late! It's time to drop the doom hammer on you. Eh, the doom hammer of doom... upon you, and... LET'S JUST DANCE, BABY!"
"I need some sort of tasty treat. Bring me maple syrup!"
"I should stick a missile in YOUR head for that!"
"Of course not! Disgusting, filthy bandicoots! I hate them with cheese."
"They made it here! Now they can help us save Dr. Cortex! / Don't be ridiculous, you stupid hominid! We're with Nina now! We're with the winner! / But Doctor Cortex is our friend... / You don't have any friends! He always kicked you in the tokus! And other... very... gentle spots! / But I liked it when he did that... / It was kinda fun... Listen: we make a deal with this filthy rodent and pie-nuts-face, and they help us save the master! Then we shower them with doom! / Yes! We shower them good! Right in the eyes!"
"I'll be good! I promise I'll be good! And once my precious master has been freed, I'll gladly betray you! You don't even look like a bandicoot!"
"That's right, stupids! You have to go to Uka Uka's lab and stop him. That's where they make all the delicious mutants! Maybe your revolting sister is there, too. Eww... girls..."
"I'll ruin you like I ruined my prom!"
"Shower him with fisticuffs, or is it cuftifists? GAH, just hit him!"
"More polka themes or cantastic doom. Cabbage rolls and coffee!"
"Ooh, you're going to love this part! YES! LOVE IT!"
"Enjoy... your SCREAMING DOOM!"
"Oh, I am the worst thing to happen to music... since Andrew Lloyd Webber!"
"Attention disgusting doom monkeys, Crash Bandicoot is loose in the facility. Please take a moment to look around your workspace. If you find a bandicoot, please DROP HUGE BOMBS ON THEM! CAUSE EXPLOSIONS, AND SHARP THINGS TO FLY INTO THEIR BODIES! AH HEH HEH HEH HEH, EH HEH! Reminder - tomorrow is muffin day in the cafeteria, mmm, muffins! That is all."
"Come on everybody! Sing along, you all know the tune! Doooomy doomy-doooom doom... shooby-doomy-doomy doooom doom... Eh heh heh!"
"Ooh, I love this part! I could be on "Cyborg Idol" if that show existed, WHY DON'T THEY MAKE THAT SHOW!?"
"More minions! I covet it! VICTORY!"
"Ha ha! Ha ha! Who is the toady sidekick now?!"
"Running a little low on minions, I gotta wonder why I don't send them all in at once."
"Attention FILTHY MONKEYS! I have lost my toast recipe. Repeat, my family recipe for toast has been lost, the butter supply arrives shortly, BUT I'LL HAVE NOTHING TO PUT IT ON! SOMEBODY HELP ME! I wrote the recipe down on a little post-it note, but can't find it. Also Crash Bandicoot has been sighted, yadda yadda yadda... Peace out, homies."
"I wish my brother George was here. Oh, but he was always so superficial."
"I should do a bit on phonetic punctuation while I am up here."
"Stop him, minions! He's after my radioactive... RUBBER PANTS!"
"Maybe these little cupcakes will be your undoing! Mmm, cupcakes! You are like little cups of cake! I just told you but you already know..."
"Let's go underlings, let's go! Let's go- LET'S SEE SOME TEAM SPIRIT OUT THERE!"
"Attention, my simpering simian gibbons of doom- that means you, YOU IDIOT DOOM MONKEYS! Look to the monkey to your left, and to your right. If one of them is Crash Bandicoot, inflict unspeakable horror and pain upon it - with pointed sticks, and wrenches, and terrible devices, no man nor monkey was meant to wield! AH HEH HEH! Please note, company pensions have been canceled in favor of bagel Wednesday. That is all."
"Someone take out the trash! And by trash, I mean Crash! Hey that rhymes, I should start a record label... THEN I CAN GET SOME CHICKS! I'M TIRED OF MONKEYS!"
"Spew forth more bad guys! DO IT!"
"Try this one for size, Mister Hairy Butt! ...GROSS, I'm gonna be sick!"
"You have no one to blame... but your stupid face!"
"Attention, revolting yet beloved Doom Monkey servants. Tomorrow is "Make Your Child Work In The Corps" Day. Be sure to bring your many rat-like offspring so we can make them do work considered unsafe for robots. Also, please note that Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day, so try to find a sufficiently tacky shirt. That is all."
"Crash, I really am crossed with you! I'm just trying to do my job, and you go and cause all this chaos! I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to eat your face."
"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. I wish some sort of reconsideration is possible here. And frankly, I'm still mad about the last game! You didn't even invite me! That really hurts!"
"That was ridiculous and appalling! You failed to destroy Crash Bandicoot!"
"I got away with the Mojo! And the big deal is that Crash Bandicoot is still alive!"
"Oh, yes. I will kill Crash Bandicoot. Kill him... forever. [sinister music continue] Oh, I love this part. [sinister music continue until the final note] Okay, it done."
"This is... Let's get some mutants in here, it's looking a little hairy right now."
"Ow, look, stop that!"
"This is going so well. Let's get some mutant in here, somewhat?"
"I'll get the last laugh! [laughs] I'm laughing now too, just in case."
"Make us, sucker!"
"Hi, everybody! What the fudge happen out here? Give me some hug!"
"Bring on the Titans!"
"Jess Harnell as Crash Bandicoot"
"Lex Lang as Dr. Neo Cortex"
"Debi Derryberry as Nina Cortex (DS version only) and Coco Bandicoot"
"Greg Eagles as Aku Aku"
"Chris Williams as Crunch Bandicoot and Tiny Tiger"
"John DiMaggio as Uka Uka"
"Nolan North as N. Gin"
"Amy Gross as Nina Cortex"
"[screaming while falling from the sky and lands in a cave. He looks around and laughs as he notices the power crystals] Crystals, of course! [his candle burns out, leaving him in darkness] D'oh!"
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Crash Bandicoot. Welcome. I apologize for the cruel means used to bring you here, but I'd rather expect a written invitation would be turned down. I need your help. Surrounding you are a series of five doors. Through each door lies a well-hidden crystal. Crystals look like this. [shows hologram of crystal] Bring me the crystals, Crash. That is all I can say for now. We will speak again."
"Well done, Crash! I knew I could rely on you. Now listen carefully; this hologram is hard to maintain. During the course of my intellectual pursuits, I have stumbled across a force that threatens to destroy the world. Crystals are the only means of containing it. The fate of the world is at stake; it is imperative therefore that you bring them to me!"
"So, you're helping Cortex to gather Crystals, and yet you've acquired a Gem! Interesting! Heheheheh! Well Crash, heheheh, know this, as long as you are allied with C-C-C-Cortex, you are my sworn enemy and I will do everything in my power t-t-t-to stop you! Heheheheheh! If the fate of the world is truly your concern, you must g-g-gather the Gems, not the Cr-Cr-Cr-Crystals!"
"Like Doctor Cortex said, give the 20 Crystals you've collected to me."
"Ban-di-coot. Hmm, follow."
"[sees Crash and Coco unconscious] Hmm? Hmm... AWAKE! Follow."
"Mmm... nachos."
"[to Cortex] You, stay!"
"A great power has awoken. Crash, I fear it portends an event of reality-shattering proportions. I feel it emanating from N. Sanity Peak. Quickly, we must go! [Crash, still asleep on the couch, doesn't follow him] Crash. Crash! CRASH! [Aku Aku's shout scares Crash, who wakes up and falls off the couch]"
"Lani-Loli? If the Quantum Masks have returned, then..."
"We can meet with the others after we've explored. Now, which way are the food trucks?"
"[to Cortex] Yes."
"Crash? Who is that?"
"It appears to be a door between dimensions."
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"
"So we need the masks to close the rifts?"
"Don't worry. We have a thing where we fight, he loses. It's a well-established dynamic."
"[drops free] Oh. Thank you so much... Wait, Tawna? But you're...different. You're not from our universe!"
"We lost touch in your universe too, huh?"
"[chuckles] What, did we, like, die or something?"
"The usual. Bunch of evil scientists attempting interdimensional domination."
"[referring to the Quantum Masks] Masks."
"Wait, you're not coming?"
"[after Tawna leaves] Oh..."
"[hears gong] Ahh! Eeh! So where's the next mask?"
"Uh... Yeah!"
"[clears throat] Let's get outta here."
"[interrupts Cortex] But not if we get him first."
"Uh, sorry to interrupt but existence could end at any minute now, so can we please hurry?"
"Now that we found Ika-Ika, that's all four! What's next?"
"Sounds like it's time to kick some N. Tropy butt!"
"[notices Dingodile] Dingodile?"
"Got it. [referring to Cortex] Our bad guy's had a change of heart too."
"It looks like we're on route to the Rift Generator. But we'd be a lot faster in... [notices hovercraft] ...that! [Tawna ties Crash and Coco up] What the?! Tawna?"
"But...we're a team... [she and Crash watch Tawna fly away]"
"[to the female N. Tropy, referring to Tawna] LET HER GO!"
"We did it!"
"You said it, Crash."
"I like the pickled wumpa leaves."
"He means you, Crash."
"Explains a lot."
"YES! Wumpa victory! [Quantum Masks cheer] Hey, Crash, you're in. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"
"Hmm... [picks up Lani-Loli]"
"Eh. Pffft."
"[confused] Hmm."
"Huh? [drops free] Bleh."
"Haha! [picks up Akano]"
"[Akano drops on his feet] AAAAAAHHHH!!!"
"Ahh! [hits gong then gibbers dizzily]"
"[sees N. Brio] Ahh!"
"Oh. [chuckles]"
"[gasps in shock]"
"[to Cortex] Mm-hmm."
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"[gasps] Uh-oh."
"Ohoho! Crikey, I'm starved. [gasps] Wait, is that... [sniffing] roadkill pie, slug and centipede gumbo, braised bat tacos with guanamole? Well now, what have we got here?"
"[on TV] Tired of that vile swill Papa Batfield cooks up in his filthy outhouse? C'mon down to Dingo's Diner!"
"Oy! You buggers stay outta my diner!"
"Time for a spring cleanin'."
"Hmph! Jump on a TNT crate. What am I, a bandicoot?"
"[as his diner is blown up] Argh! Bastards! I'll get every last one of yas!"
"Aww, I made all them tablecloths m'self..."
"There we are."
"[laughs] How do you like them wumpas?!"
"Uh. Got a feelin' I'm not in the bayou no more."
"You smell good enough to eat. Hehe!"
"[sees a fuse being lit] Uh-oh. [runs into the quantum rift]'"
"That's more like it! Now... which way's me diner?"
"[inhales] Stagnant water, smells like home."
"[laughs then sighs] Huh? [sees quantum rift] Ahh! Crikey, not again!"
"[sighs] Alright, gotta be another one of them shimmery things 'round here."
"Ahhh. Time to go home."
"[sees Crash, Coco, and Cortex falling down] Crikey!"
"Easy, chums. If I was here to fight, you'd be cactus."
"Yeah. Just tryna get home. I was enjoyin' the retired life, see."
"[elbow bumps Crash and chuckles]"
"Oy! What'd I miss?"
"[slaps N. Tropies with his tail] Bloody dags."
"[to Kupuna-Wa] Oy. Not that it ain't been fun, but about my ticket home..."
"Hmph. Let's see if these tall poppies know how to smoke a steak."
"Blimey! Best not to think about that."
"Hmm... does this mean I have franchise potential?"
"Am I a franchise? Could I open a restaurant... in an airport?"
"But if I franchise because I saw my future franchise... oh, bollocks, my head hurts!"
"Ugh, strewth! Who cooked it?! Heat was too high. S'why it was all rubbery inside. Subpar grill marks too."
"[on TV] Dingo's Diner is back and ready for you! Say g'day to delectable dishes inspired by my interdimensional travels. Enjoy the breeze with our innovative three-wall dining room design. Dingo's Diner: health and safety rated "D"...for "Delicious"!"
"Master, my mechanical marvel will hypnotize you an army!"
"Welcome to the show, vermin! Looking for your precious mask?"
"Not this time! I've got a backstage pass for you to get up close and personal with my weapon of mass percussion. Come ready to rock!"
"Tonight, live at the War Palace... get ready for a KILLER performance!"
"Ehehehehe chomp chomp!"
"You think you're so great with your stupid grin on your stupid face. Stupid!"
"Enough with the jumping already! Showoff."
"Minion! Leave behind nothing but a smoking crater!"
"Greasemonkey Gazette raves: A DEADLY display that will BLOW your mind (and body, into pieces.)"
"A performance so electrifying you may just spontaneously combust! Or, uh, not-so-spontaneously..."
"Scurry scurry little rats, or you'll miss the show!"
"Admittance to tonight's performance is free. First come, first TORN TO SHREDS!"
"Let's see that blood spray!"
"Frank! Filthy rodent! Kill my favorite minion will you?!"
"Just make it quick this time."
"The show of the century! Tonight, 10 p.m., and 6 feet under!"
"You're gonna be right on time... if you don't become roadkill first!"
"A spectacle so incredible you won't believe your eyes, or ears, or failing internal organs!"
"The best show you'll ever see! The LAST show you'll ever see! Ehehehe!"
"Attention minions, the bandicoots are in sight! Start the Doom Rig!"
"Are you ready? Start...your...bwaah?! SABOTAGE!!!"
"Run run vroom vroom! Ehehehehehe!"
"What's taking you imbeciles so long?! Your target's caged, for cripes sake!"
"Alright, all you bloodthirsty lunatics. Put your freaky little hands together for...RAWK-IT HEAD! 1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4."
"Prepare for a beat-ing, bandicoots!"
"You're ruining my solo!"
"Stop it stop it stop it stop it!"
"Stay away from my robot! He's fragile."
"What's the matter? Don't like DEATH METAL?!"
"My equipment!"
"No bandicoots allowed on the drums!"
"GAAAAH!!! The show must go on!"
"Paws off the stereo!"
"You really know how to make me mad!"
"Argh! Fine! We'll do this the hard way."
"Quit breaking my things!"
"Will you stop interrupting my set?!"
"Noooo! Hmm. [blasted off from explosion] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! [falls down] Ow, ow, ow, oh! My beautiful creation..."
"[to Cortex] Hush, simpleton."
"At least Uka Uka and I attempt to free us from this prison. I won't sit idly by and listen to your inane ramblings for another decade! And the way you chew."
"[referring to Uka Uka] Leave him. He served his purpose. [laughs maniacally]"
"Uka Uka unknowingly paved the way for our bright future. Once my Rift Generator is complete, dominion over all of time and space will be within our grasp!"
"[to N. Gin and N. Brio] HASTEN YOUR STEPS! By my calculations, our enemies are already moving against us. And we...will...prevail."
"[to Cortex] I knew you would be unable to handle this...simplest of tasks."
"How fortunate. You see, I no longer have need for our alliance. I've found a new partner...and a new plan."
"Of course! The Rift Generator has capabilities beyond your meagre imagination. You were content to simply rule over space and time, but I'd rather start from scratch. Erase it all. Wipe the slate clean. I'm going to reset the timeline and rebuild it to my liking. I will become a god, which means you won't exist, and neither will those featherbrained masks, or those meddling marsupials! [laughs evilly]"
"[to N. Oxide] Silence, whelp!"
"You try my patience, Oxide."
"[to his female counterpart] You manage our affairs with such poise."
"Delicious."
"Let's make this fun. Give them a sporting chance."
"Curse you..."
"[referring to N. Oxide] Now, now. I'm sure this insect knows how to obey an order."
"[to N. Oxide] Take your ship to planet Bermugula and be on the lookout for any ships approaching the Rift Generator. We can't afford any unwanted visitors."
"[to her original counterpart] Naturally. As do you."
"[to Tawna] What's the matter, hero? Couldn't solo this one?"
"The last time I killed her friends, her screams were exquisite."
"Ooh. [throws Tawna to the ground] Let's see what you mongrels can do as a pack!"
"...bandicoots."
"Crash Bandicoot, at last I, the great Neo Cortex, have you right where I want you. And now the final blow!"
"Face it, N. Tropy. It's going to fail...again."
"[referring to Uka Uka] Is he dead?"
"N. Gin, N. Brio, you had some little projects you wanted to tell me about?"
"Right, yeah, fine, sure. Have fun with your...ray guns or whatever."
"Crash Bandiccot, you banished me to the past. But all it did was give more time to plan your doom. You'll find me up the mountain. Don't freeze on the way!"
"Hmm. [notices Crash] Oh! [laughs] Just a few more steps and you'll be bandicoot bar-barba-CHOO! [sneezes and accidentally pushes the button on his detonator] Ahh!"
"Crash Bandicoot. It's about time. This is going to be just like the old days...except, this time, EVERYTHING WILL GO ACCORDING TO MY PLAN! [laughs maniacally]"
"Not again!"
"Blasted bandicoots! Oh, must we keep going around and around like this? Tell me, Crash, is this all there is, forever? [Crash shrugs] Ugh..."
"Gloat all you want. I quit. If we need me, I'll be on a tropical island somewhere, alone."
"You were scheming behind my back?!"
"[referring to N. Tropy] Wiped from existence by that pompous peacock?! I'd like to see him try after I shove that tuning fork up his... [interrupted by Coco]"
"It appears we have a common enemy. Perhaps there's a way out of our endless cycle after all. [Crash hugs him] Huh? Okay...um... [sighs] Hm."
"That would be N. Tropy and his precious "Rift Generator"."
"[sadly] "Bad guy"?"
"[points at N. Tropy] N. Tropy!"
"What's the matter? Unable to handle even the simplest of tasks? I no longer have need for our...[pause]...alliance."
"Cortex, you cad! Why did you not see it before? [laughs evilly and aims for Kupuna-Wa]"
"There's another way I can end this cycle of endless fighting between us. I can go back to where it started. I can undo my greatest failure!"
"Bye-bye, bandicoots! [laughing maniacally]"
"[sees Crash and Coco came along with him unnoticeably] You again?! You two are so clingy! Take a hint already!"
"[to his past self] Do you not recognize your own face? I've come from future to warn you! If you try to turn Crash Bandicoot into the General of your army, you will fail! The machine rejects... [interrupted by his past self]"
"Ugh, why won't I listen to me?!"
"[interrupts his past self] I'm you from the future, you idiot! I... [interrupted by his past]"
"Do you have any idea how stubborn I used to be?"
"Hmm. [referring to his past self] I need to stop him from making you. But I can't kill him, because that would kill me. So I guess that means I'll have to kill you! [laughs maniacally]"
"Not like this! [crates fall on him] Doh! Ugh! Oh! Ow! Huh! Augh!"
"Ugh. What are you going to do to me?"
"Hmm. [chuckles] Ahh, peace at last."
"Who's on my super secret personal frequency? What?! Who is this-this impostor?!"
"[interrupts his future self] Fraud! Fiend! N. Brio, alert the guards!"
"Masquerade as me, will you? Well... [interrupted by his future self]"
"[interrupts his future self] I'm not the idiot! You're the idiot, idiot! Get him!"
"[falls briefly] Ugh, ohh. Hmm, must've taken a hit to the old temporal lobe. But a fallen foe can only mean one thing: it came to blows and I WON! [to his future self about Crash] My new General's first order of business will be to dispose of you. [laughs evilly] We're closer than ever before. Quickly, into the Vortex!"
"Failure again!"
"And my potion will make me...ahem...them unstoppable!"
"[to Crash, Coco and Lani-Loli] Friends, I have a fun little game for you to play! I've got a reward for the clever bandicoots who can reach my testing grounds. But you'll have to defeat my deadly diabolical creations along the way! [laughs evilly]"
"Sooo, it's been awhile. Whatcha been up to? Oh, me? Mostly the same: mixing potions, brewing potions, drinking potions, t-t-testing potions."
"This dimension was quite p-p-peaceful when I arrived. Unfortunately, my p-p-potions had some... murderous effects on the inhabitants. [sighs] All the better to test you with! Muahahahaha!"
"[startled by Tawna] Dah!"
"Hmm... that's what I've always liked about you! So dedicated to science. Not like the natives here, unwilling to cooperate with even a single d-d-deadly test."
"I wish I didn't have to resort to live tests for my experiments, but you know: omelets, eggs, super powered potions, marsupia-- uhh, I mean... other animals."
"Oh, look at us, just like the old days... working together against those who keep us down and humiliate us by forcing us to pick out our own birthday card and sign them for him! I mean... he could have at least paid half!"
"I can't say I see the appeal of all the jumping you do... but perhaps I don't have the right body for it ...yet."
"Sometimes, I think you're my only f-f-friends. And then I realize... no, that's right."
"Any guesses on your r-r-reward? I'll give you a hint: it's something you had before! Muahahahaha!"
"Once I perfect my p-p-potion, I'll be strong enough to defeat anyone! Even C-C-C-Corte--ahahahahahahaha! I just need to test my might against... a formidable foe."
"We make a good team. If you survive my trial, I-- uhh... if you enjoy your reward-- we will... make... ad even better team. Uh-huh. Yes."
"Yes, hurry! Your reward is just up ahead!"
"Hmm. Hmm. [laughs maniacally] Oh, good! You've arrived! And now for your reward!"
"Just stay put while I test this!"
"Hold still!"
"For science!"
"Not the face!"
"I just need to know if this is lethal!"
"Stop spinning! You’re making me d-d-d-dizzy!"
"Fly, my gelatinous puppets!"
"Fiddlesticks!"
"Enjoy your trip!"
"This one has extra b-b-botulinum!"
"Yes, ooze your way to victory!"
"Why don't people take me seriously?"
"[as a pterosaur] And now for my final t-t-test, taste my reptilian wrath! [notices pain] Ahh...my cloaca... [lays egg] Bwah! Ugh. [sobfully as he flies away] Ow. Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh..."
"But, Dr. Cortex, the Vortex is not ready! We have no idea what it could do! [laughs crazily]"
"[screams then flips gravity] Bwah? Goodness, if it isn't Lani-Loli! How are you, brother?"
"[flips gravity then laughs] Don't mind grumpy gus. He's always a downer."
"[to Cortex] Enjoy the end of the universe!"
"[sighs] When's existence ever done anything for anyone anyway?"
"Yeah, don't mind me. I don't matter. Nothing matters."
"[yawns] Wah? What time is it? Oh goodness, I ought to know... Crash! Coco! C'mon, give old Kupuna-Wa a kiss, eh? [laughs then kisses Crash] Don't look at me like I broke wind at a wedding. I'm time! I see everything! And I mean everything! There's some very unexpected events in your future. Your very NEAR future. Shocking events that will CHANGE THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE..."
"Well, if you'd rather not know about the giant mask-eating monster from beyond the stars, that is your choice. [chuckles]"
"[to the other Quantum Masks] Right then, let's plug up these holes!"
"Right! Now that we've mended things, we can take you anywhere, anywhen, after we rest. For now I can only take us as far as the culinary capital of the universe: Neon City!"
"[to Cortex] Eh-eh! Looks like somebody needs a little timeout."
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no way. Not in a million... AAAAAAAAHHH!"
"[stuck to Crash] Yiiii! Get him off. Get him off. Get him off."
"[chokes then spits] Hey, Aku! How's it g-g-gah… Is that a Quantum Rift? [breathing heavily]"
"Yes, yes! The kind we keep shut! We have to go through, find my siblings, and fix this before some putz with a big evil plan and a BIGGER EGO DOES SOMETHING MONUMENTALLY STUPID!"
"Correct! Now my brother Akano is around here somewhere."
"Ah... Behold the aforementioned putz."
"[screams] AKANO!"
"Akano! Old Dark Matter himself! Careful, Crash. He's heavier than he..."
"Oh, good, you're awake!"
"Alright! Two masks down, two to go! Feeling a little less panicked. I was at a 10 before, now I'm at a solid, let's say, 9.78888. Oh, yeah. These bandicoots are here to help."
"[referring to Akano] Short and to the point. Love this guy!"
"Not here. If these chucklenuts weren't punching holes in reality, we could open our own rifts. For now, we're stuck taking the long route. But I sense another rift around here somewhere. [sees N. Brio then screams]"
"[Kupuna-Wa] Yeah, just gonna stop you there before you tell us how we all die!"
"Leaving now!"
"[referring to Cortex] Wow, you know, I'm sensing a real fraught history here. How many times have you beaten this clown anyway?"
"Really? Only three? [Crash nods his head] Funny. Seemed like more."
"[to Ika-Ika] WAKE UP!!!"
"We can't close the rifts until we stop whatever is opening them."
"[opens rift to Neon City] Yeah!"
"Somewhere he can't cause any trouble."
"[to N. Tropy] But, sir..."
"[to the female N. Tropy] At once, your foulness."
"Ship launch in 10, 9... ugh, I should have started at 3. BLASTOFF!"
"[on radio] September 9th, entry 7. Dear Diary, that rash still hasn't gone away and..."
"Stowaways?! Well- hey, where'd my kart go?!"
"I swear I left my kart parked right there..."
"My 6th kart stolen this year! [sobs] My wife's gonna kill me."
"Attention crew: asteroid field ahead, buckle your seatbelts!"
"We're hit! Unbuckle those seatbelts and FIX MY SHIP!!"
"Quickly minions, prepare Master an escape pod!"
"ABANDON SHIP!!!"
"Hmm. Hang on, guys! I'm coming!"
"It's so good to see you guys. It's... been a long time for me."
"Yeah, you could say that."
"What? No! Nope! No! What? Ha! No! Definitely not! So how are things in your dimension? Ahem."
"Huh. So, whatcha collecting? Crystals? Gems?"
"Ooh, fun. Well, good luck with that."
"Sorry. I fly solo. But I'll-I'll lend a hand where I can. In fact, I already have."
"[to N. Brio] Hey!"
"Hmm. [pulls lever] Hm."
"[referring to Dingodile] He's with me. Found him lost out there. Caught him up on the whole time-space, y'know, thing."
"[points at the female N. Tropy] N. Tropy!"
"Ugh. Barf."
"I'm not losing you guys in this dimension too. I got this."
"[to Coco] Yeah we did. [she hi5's Coco]"
"That shnurgle shank was killer."
"[to Crash and Coco] Give him hell!"
"Oh oh! Almost there, almost there! Get the... YES!"
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"
"Hyuuuuuuugh-aagh!"
"Hyuuuuah! Ahuuugh!!"
"Oh... [faints]"
"There’s got to be a simpler solution."
"I was in the first GAME!"
"That looks totally awesome! I designed it and I want four of them!"
"Greetings, little peons which I invented. You see before you a glorious history of evil devices that I, me, invented. Over time, the disgusting heroes of this world—which I invented! Me! Not Cortex, read your bible, I wrote it! Heroes like lazy bandicoots just leave these wonderful toys to rot where they fall. But Doctor Cortex, who says he invented many things—liar! says 'Hurry! Build me a Space Head, and many NV devices!' So! I have invented... recycling! Remember the N. Brio patented phrase: reuse, recycle, revenge! I created slinkies! Stop playing with them because they're mine! You see before you an ocean of wrecked dreams. My dreams. But from this ocean, Doctor Cortex has asked me to harpoon the white whale of evil. Recycling shall destroy the world! And I, as its inventor, shall get the credit. Look, Lite-Brite. I didn't invent this. Burt Meyer did. It's not evil, why's it in the pile?"
"Debi Derryberry as Coco Bandicoot"
"Maurice LaMarche as Dr. Nitrus Brio"
"Moron! This bandicoot will be my general. He will lead my Cortex Commandos to world domination! This time, I shall reign triumphant!"
"Quickly, into the Vortex!"
"Failure again! Capture him!"
"Prepare the female bandicoot!"
"Darn you, Crash Bandicoot!"
"But, Dr. Cortex, the Vortex is not ready! We don’t know what it could do!"