Comic strips

"Jon: Hey, Lyman. What do you think of my new tennis racket?"

"Jon: (to the phone) I may not be rich, but remember this: money can't buy happiness."

"Garfield: (Standing atop Jon's easy chair) From this vantage point, I can survey all that I rule!"

"Jon: Doc, how are you?"

"Jon: I'm bored."

"Jon: Quiet day today."

"Garfield: Hey, Jon, what's new?"

"Jon: Somewhere out there is the woman for me!… hiding no doubt."

"Garfield: (bragging to Jon) I came within an eyelash of catching that pesky mouse today."

"Jon: How cute! Nermal brought me my newspaper! And my slippers and my pipe! What more could a man want?"

"Garfield: What a dismal day. I think I'll stay in bed all day."

"Jon: Having a girlfriend changes everything, Garfield. The ways things taste, the way things smell. I'm gonna have to change my socks more often."

"Sign: Beware of Dog"

"Jon: I'm in the mood to party!… Or fold laundry."

"Phone: (When Garfield picks up) May I speak to the head of the household?"

"Phone (Garfield picks up) May I speak to the moron of the house?"

"Garfield sleeps at the doorway"

"Garfield is building a snowman"

"Jon: Garfield, why aren't women attracted to me?"

"Jon: So, doc, how's Garfield?"

"Jon is whistling off screen, there is a plate of 4 cookies on the table and Garfield walks in with a cup of coffee"

"(Jon discovers that Garfield ate all of the Christmas cookies)"

"Jon: (Watching Garfield eat) You know, Garfield... I wouldn't say you're fat, but..."

"Garfield: (Showing a single cat hair to Jon) This is all I'll be shedding today."

"Jon: (Showing a plate of food to Garfield) Garfield, see what this tastes like."

"Jon: (On the phone) Hello, Evelyn? This is Jon Arbuckle. Would you care to join me in a little fine dining this evening? I know this cozy little out-of-the-way seafood bistro... Wonderful food... Great atmosphere... Pardon? Stinky Bob's Sushi Bar and Bait Shack."

"Jon and Garfield are racing for the last hot dog. Jon reaches it first."

"Jon: Why don't you ever listen to me?"

"Jon: Two steak dinners, and make mine medium."

"Jon's mom: (reading a photo album) Here's you, Jonny, in the first grade."

"(A spider hits Garfield with one of his legs, so Garfield squishes him with a newspaper, leaving it on top of him.)"

"(Jon is talking to Garfield.)"

"Jon: Cats are mysterious creatures."

"Jon: Just one bite of chicken and that's it, Garfield."

"Jon and Garfield are just about to leave the farm."

"Jon: (brandishing a letter) This came in the mail for you."

"Jon: Do you think glasses would make me look smarter?"

"Jon: I'm starting your diet, Garfield. How would you like this head of cabbage prepared?"

"(Garfield chases Odie up a tree.)"

"Jon: Hey, Garfield, how are you going to get out of that tree?"

"Mouse: (running) Help! I am frightened of that big, strong cat!"

"Jon: (while walking out the front door, carrying a surfboard and a beach ball, and wearing flippers) Got my beach ball, got my fins, got my surfboard..."

"Jon: (groggy, and holding a tube of toothpaste) Where's my toothbrush? (Garfield hands him a toilet brush) Thank you. (proceeds to brush his teeth with the toilet brush)"

"Jon: Garfield's in for a big surprise. I put an alarm on the refrigerator. (In the background, Garfield is seen running into the kitchen.) That's the first rule for successfully living with a cat. (Garfield looks at Jon from around the corner.) You must be smarter than the cat. (Garfield is seen in the background, carrying the refrigerator, which is now unplugged, on his back.)"

"(Garfield is asleep in bed.)"

"Jon: Meow. Meow. Okay, what did I just say to you, Garfield?"

"(Jon is on the phone. He looks behind him, then resumes talking.)"

"Garfield: (running to Jon) I had nothing to do with it!"

"Jon: (showing Dad his bathroom) Here it is, Dad; a modern bathroom with all the conveniences."

"(Jon is sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper. He hears the doorbell ring, then walks to the front door and opens it. To his surprise, it's Garfield.)"

"Jon: (holds out his arm) My future is looking bright!"

"Garfield: (standing in a field on a sunny day) Ah, nature!"

"(It is the middle of the night. Garfield walks to the refrigerator and opens it, but no light is seen.)"

"(Garfield is walking with Odie, who has a bone in his mouth. They eventually arrive at the edge of a cliff.)"

"(Garfield is lying on the table.)"

"(Garfield is lying on the table, when a blueberry muffin comes up to him.)"

"(Garfield is seen with a carrot on a plate at the table.)"

"(Odie is howling outside.)"

"(It is the middle of the night. There is no light on, and only Garfield's eyes are shown)"

"(Jon comes in the door, wounded.)"

"(Garfield is seen with Pooky.)"

"(Garfield is shown standing by the fridge.)"

"(Garfield is shown standing by a hamburger.)"

"(Garfield is seen on a laptop, getting ready to type a note. He types in:"

"(Garfield is lying in bed and holding a stick with his face on it)"

"(Garfield is riding on Odie's back, holding on to his ears. Garfield suddenly disappears, with only Odie remaining. Garfield is then shown in a tree with his feet off the ground and a branch stuck in his mouth.)"

"(Jon sets up Garfield's food bowl)"

"(Garfield is seen sitting on a bench)"

"(Garfield is seen up the tree)"

"(Garfield is begging to Jon for food)"

"(Jon is seen in an assembly)"

"(Jon, whistling, is seen packing a picnic lunch for Liz. Later on, he comes to Liz's house, drives to the woods for their picnic, and starts to unpack stuff. But as they unpack, Garfield in suddenly heard burping in the basket. Later, Jon and Liz, unpleased, are shown in a drive-thru at Binky Burger with Garfield in the back, using a toothpick.)"

"(Jon is on the phone)"

"(Garfield is seen watching TV)"

"(A mouse is standing behind Garfield, glaring at him.)"

"(Jon is walking into a room, holding something behind his back.)"

"(Liz is shown at the vet on the phone)"

"(Garfield is on the kitchen table, waiting for coffee.)"

"Garfield: I hate Mondays."

"Jon: (Garfield had eaten his lunch) Garfield, stealing my lunch wasn't nice."

"(Garfield walks in on a dog and a "Beware of the Dog" sign that has a lot of free space underneath it. He takes out a pencil and writes on the sign, so that it now says "Beware of the Dog's Breath!")"

"Jon: All right, Garfield! (reaches for the phone) That's it! I'm calling Santa! (dialing) And I'm telling him what you did!"

"Jon: (standing outside the front door) What a beautiful morning! (taking off his shoes) Who needs shoes on a day like this?"

"Jon: (to Odie and Garfield, smiling and holding a big bowl of salad) Who wants a salad?!"

"(Jon and Garfield are outside)"

"(Odie's dingleball passes through Garfield's legs)"

"(There is a purple sign around Garfield's neck. It reads "Hunter")"

"Jon: You know, I've always felt like I was destined for greater things... (a very loud snort is then heard.) What was THAT?"

"Dear Santa, I know all about the reindeer, the money and the “elf incident.” I’ve got pictures. A Playstation 2 or I tell Mrs. Claus."

"HEY, KIDS!! Get your very own official FLAGEE AND RIBBON ACTION FIGURES!! Just $19.95 plus $4.95 shipping. Order today – operators are standing by! Some percentage of the proceeds to be donated to somebody."

"Hey Caesar – that George W. Bush sure is stupid!"

"Q: You started addressing the terrorist attacks on Sept. 24. You got to it faster than other strip creators. What influenced that?"

"Q: Do you pull back from ideas that seem too inflammatory or controversial?"

"Q: How closely do Huey's opinions come to your own?"

"McGruder doesn't shy away from controversy. After the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, McGruder drew a series of strips featuring a talking American flag and a yellow ribbon -- and they had very critical things to say about the Patriot Act and the Bush administration. Some newspapers dropped those strips entirely."

"There are two things people really want to know about the cartoonist Aaron McGruder. The first is precisely what he said to Condoleezza Rice, the US Secretary of State, at an awards ceremony three years ago. Rice and McGruder, 32, were both being given an award by the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People, the oldest civil rights organisation in the country. Beforehand, McGruder had told anyone who would listen that Rice was a mass murderer (it was not long after the invasion of Afghanistan) and that he would have no qualms about telling her so to her face. With McGruder's help, rumours about their subsequent exchange became legend. "I was never as cavalier with her as I sounded," he says now. "I had a brief encounter with her and I knew I had to say something. I said something like: 'I don't want you guys to kill me so I'm just going to mind my own business.' I was eminently aware when I met Condi that she could make my whole family disappear. I have never been fearless. I've always had a healthy fear of this government.""

"I don’t remember what those kids were doing in the first ‘’’Boondocks’’’ comic I saw, but I do remember exactly what passed through my mind when I read it: “How the hell did this get into a daily newspaper?”"

"There once was a barbarian -- Who roamed about the plains -- And used the power of his sword -- To substitute for brains."

"His mighty swords are in his hands -- His eyes are flaming red -- He doesn't have a bit of fear -- Or brains inside his head."

"You think you can confuse Groo by giving him two things to think about at once!"

"Maybe I could get a job collecting taxes! Then I would earn money so I could pay those taxes! That is how government works!"

"I want my dog back! I would give you until the count of five if I could count to five!"

"[Calvin] is a combination of a six year old boy and wise old sage. His imagination takes him to places in another dimension. Enter Hobbes. Hobbes is the consummate best friend, albeit imaginary. Hobbes is a stuffed tiger to everyone but Calvin. To Calvin, Hobbes is an entity. The relationship between Calvin and Hobbes is a perfect fit. Hobbes is the active listener, the clarifier, and in some ways, Calvin's conscience. Together, they ponder the universe, the meaning of life, the reasons for bullies, and whether or not there are monsters under the bed."

"One boy said, "Calvin makes me see that I can laugh at the stuff that other people always nag me about!""

"We found that not only did our students stay interested, the learning that occurred was permanent. Our students were able to carry over and apply the concepts they learned from Calvin and Hobbes to their world."

"Subtle humor requires higher level language skills."

"Calvin and Hobbes comics contain examples of many different types of humor. Some comic strips may be funny to you but not to your friend. The strips that make you laugh may not even crack a smile from someone else. Many times, we get frustrated and say, "Don't you get it?!" Remember, different people have varying ideas of what is beautiful, ugly, boring, exciting, or interesting."

"Spook: Turnkey, what's the meaning of life? Turnkey: There aint no time off for good behavior."