Comedians

"...So I wasn't death to this guy, I was just a one-way ticket home. Now I don't know if you've ever stuck a .38 in somebody's navel, but if they look at you and say "Praise the Lord," I guarantee you one thing, it'll separate your head from your shoulders!"

"And silence ... is loud! And I'd be straining real hard to hear what those two boys were saying. And finally, just when they figured I had my ear right against the window, one of those ol' boys would turn to the other and say "Did you know that Jesus died for your sins?" And the other one would say "Why no, tell me about it!""

"Someone says, "Don't you think that Jesus is a crutch?" Well, maybe he is, but when you're crippled, that's not too bad. Some one else say, "Don't you think you're rather closed-minded?" I say, "Yeah, but I can afford to be, I'm right.""

"Maybe you don't like some of the things I've said tonight, that's ok. Maybe you don't like me. I could care less. Especially you Christians, you don't gotta like me, you gotta love me. See, I'm a member of your family. And you can pick your friends, but you're stuck with your relatives!"

"....People think that when you get saved, you're crazy. Did you ever wonder why? What would you think if you were standing beside the road and you saw the local Baptist church go by in pieces? Would you think they had all their marbles, huh? Would you think they had both oars in the water, huh? Huh? Wouldn't you think that maybe their porchlight was out?"

"Christians have their own language."

"Now, after the concert, y'all are going to want to pig out. But you don't want to say you're going to go pig out. So one of you is come up to the other and say, "How about a little fellowship?""

"Christians don't gossip, they "share"; and when they really get mean, they "share in love". If a Christian comes up to you and says, "I'm going to share this with you in love", watch out."

"Pregnant women got someone else in there hangin' from their ribcage goin' "We got to go now.""

"Don't ever get between a pregnant woman and the bathroom door; it don't matter if the sister's saved, she'll hurt you in Jesus' name! She'll be saying I pray for you in a minute."

"The future states that there is no time other than the collapsation of that sensation of the mirror of the memories in which we are living. Common knowledge, but important nonetheless."

"I was on the football team because I wanted to experience the different iconic social classes of high school. So football for me was an attempt to socially integrate in an interesting way. And then I didn’t like it anymore and stopped doing it and focused more on drama and science and other forms of art and music."

"Osogbo is a quiet city that allows your thought to wander and that was basically what made me who I am. The people I imitate in the skits are people I have seen in Osogbo."

"It had always been a long dream but I had to be my own therapist, enjoy this thing, go with the flow and do what I had to do."

"The circle of friends you have determines the circumference of the earth to you."

"It’s much easier to navigate your audience and their preferences when you’re a macro influencer. When you have millions of followers, it’s hard to navigate their preferences."

"...TikTok is taking us back to fast-paced content [like with Vine]. People want you to get your points across as fast as possible. They don’t have the patience for four or five-minute content, except they’re core fans."

"I don’t believe in the concept of a girlfriend. I believe in partnership. I don’t believe in that phase of girlfriends. I start with courtship. I have to see the wife in the person from the beginning."

"I want them to see beyond my real-life comic skits and embrace, and learn from my character’s relationship and journey with other ghosts and Saro."

"You cannot achieve success if failure scares you."

"Lagos is evidently Nigeria’s entertainment capital."

"Before skits became a thing, stand-up comedy was my first love back in 2015."

"The thing with this industry is that a lot of people tend to follow what is selling right now. But if you think it’s funny, then create. You don’t have to wait for it to be trendy before you start."

"Do what feels natural to you."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but you can’t avoid it in our industry. Pag tumaba ka: ‘Ay, ang taba mo, bat ganun?’ Laging andun yung pamimintas. These are things we don’t get to share with other people. They just say, ‘Ay, tumaba siya.’ They don’t know that we’re also going through something."