187 quotes found
"Wil: [Politically correct version of 'baa, baa black sheep'] Blah, blah, blah. I hate myself Pass the weed. I have to testify in court."
"Dave: [In response to an American panellist saying, "If [Australians] don't vote, you get fined."] Yeah, and if you don't vote you get George Bush!"
""Two Australians Kidnapped in Iraq: Unfortunately not Will Anderson" (September 17, 2004)"
""Will Anderson to write and star in a comedy show with Rove: Australian comedy dies" (September 25, 2004)"
""Dicko boycotts ARIAs: No one gives a shit" (September 25, 2004)"
"The Glass House finally removed from detention centres: refugees happy, now think that torture is over."
"Pope ponders evolution: Hmmm, no."
"George Bush discovers Bird Flu: Decides to invade Turkey"
"Osama Bin Ladin hiding in hole: Not sure how he got to Tasmania"
"John Clarke - John Clarke, Head of Administration & Logistics for the Sydney Olympic Games"
"Gina Riley - Gina Riley, Manager of Marketing & Liaisons for the Sydney Olympic Games"
"Bryan Dawe - Bryan Dawe, Manager of Accounts, Budgeting & Finance for the Sydney Olympic Games"
"Nicholas Bell - Nicholas Bell - Secretary to the Minister for the Olympic Games"
"9 11, 24 7."
"We report, you believe."
"Guaranteed twice as true as regular news."
"Fighting the war on terror everyday."
"Never compromise with terrorists. Never compromise on your coverage."
"Bringing you other people's pain."
"The network the whole world trusts implicitly."
"More war than any other network."
"Making the world safe again."
"News with a touch of humanity."
"70% commercial-free."
"Trust us. You can trust us."
"Fighting the war on terror from your own sofa with CNNNN."
"No one has more news because no one has more desks."
"Take two glasses of know-how and add a teaspoon of truth. Stir thoroughly."
"Light on the details, so you can slam it down fast."
"You don't mess with what's right."
"First with the news. First with the corrections."
"We like to call it the truth."
"One network under God."
"You're either with us or you're against us."
"For 24 hour protection."
"Zero tolerance news."
"Your pre-emptive news network."
"It's a brave news world."
"Because opinion matters more than fact."
"Now showing on Broadway."
"Home of newstainment."
"Now with 20% more chimp stories."
"We will decide who makes the stories and the circumstances in which they make them."
"Liberators of truth."
"Hard news. Made easy."
"Operation Enduring Entertainment."
"We don't just cover wars, we win them."
"The news you choose."
"More N's than any other network."
"came from Tunisia, Algeria and Saudi Arabia."
"Trained in Yemen, Sudan and Afghanistan."
"Met in Indonesia and Malaysia."
"Were funded through Italy and Germany."
"And were taught to fly in America."
"Tafe lecturer still describing herself as an "academic""
"Celebrity chef eating 2 minute noodles for dinner again"
"Cast of new Australian comedy show likely to include Glen Robbins"
"Joke is so funny it has to be sent to everyone in email address book"
"Parent suspects Bob Marley song may really be about marijuana"
"Seafood restaurant owner admits he has crabs"
"Petition of 43 munitions workers supports war in Iraq"
"Larry Emdur troubled by lingereing sense of emptiness"
"Audience worried Carlos Santana solo may never finish"
"Artwork accused of having ulterior motif"
"Labor party thrashed in national "Simon Says" championships"
"Bank of Nigeria puzzled by it's poor reputation"
"Non-Italian man uses Italian accent to order Macchiato"
"Newsbar proofreader lets gaurd down"
"No 1 dance hit ousted by almost identical track"
"Trendy dog insists on bottled toilet water"
"Non-pianist performs 'chopsticks'"
"Voice recognition software can't recognise owner swearing at it"
"Child plays with slinky a second time"
"Paralympians slam closing ceremony audience for "insensitive" standing ovation"
"Perpetually single guy tries to make it look like his choice"
"Cameraphone takes in-focus photo"
"Disneyland still waiting on formal UN recognition"
"Newbar item ends abruptl"
"Airport travelator makes passenger late for plane"
"Exotic items in pie shop all taste like pie"
"Guy convinced he could convert most lesbians"
"Reality show bears no resemblance to reality whatsoever"
"Bush & Howard now closer than ever: in polls"
"B-grade celebrity wishes paparazzi would invade her privacy"
"Actor's opinion on world events apparently newsworthy"
"Rock band takes itself seriously"
"Week a long time in politics, Guantanamo Bay"
"Gourmet pizza defined by inclusion of sundried tomatoes"
"Americans irritated by hordes of quiet, knowledgeable tourists"
"Latest special McDonald's burger tastes identical to last one"
"Nine album tracks just filler between three singles"
"Fifties decor in Hungry Jack's fools no one"
"Donkey voter a complete ass"
"Iraqi cheese-maker complains of Kurds getting in the Whey"
"Depressed magician performs optical disillusion"
"Psychotic gains respite after voices in head contract laryngitis"
"Newsreader rushed to hospital after trying to pronounce name of new Indonesian president Dr. Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono"
"Calls for tougher sentencing on killer flus"
"Price war breaks out between $2.00 shop & $1.95 shop"
"Australian actress pretends she still calls Australia home"
"Bird and bee have sex with disastrous results"
"Twelve prams wrecked in Wiggles mosh pit"
"Wishful thinker sucks in stomach when on scales"
"Writer of the Newsbar regrets his obeying of the advice of the grammar-checking tool which is contained within Microsoft Word"
"Holden and Ford currently in peace talks"
"Sigrid Thornton - Laura Gibson"
"David Wenham - Daniel Della Bosca ('Diver Dan') [episodes 1 - 15]"
"William McInnes - Max Connors [episodes 16 - 39]"
"John Howard - Bob Jelly"
"Kerry Armstrong - Heather Jelly"
"Bruce Alexander as Sergeant Graham Grey"
"Kate Atkinson - Karen Miller"
"Alan Cassell - Harold Fitzwalter"
"Paul English as Jack Gibson [episodes 1 - 13]"
"Patrick Dickson 0 Jack Gibson [episode 14+]"
"Jill Forster - Meredith Monahan"
"Alice Garner - Carmen 'Lois Lane' Blake [episodes 3 - 13, 18 - 30, 39]"
"Kevin Harrington - Kevin Findlay"
"Tom Long - Angus Kabiri"
"Christopher Lyons - Trevor Findlay"
"Cassandra Magrath - Miranda Gibson"
"Kane McNay - Rupert Gibson"
"Georgina Naidu - Phrani Gupta"
"Cameron Nugent - Craig Jelly"
"Bryony Price - Jules Jelly"
"Brett Swain - Griff"
"All five of us combined almost create one Shaun Micallef so I think it would be very foolish for any of us to try and go solo,"
"Rob Sitch - Mike Moore"
"Jane Kennedy - Brooke Vandenberg"
"Tiriel Mora - Martin Di Stasio"
"Alison Whyte - Emma Ward"
"Bruno Lawrence - Brian Thompson"
"Kevin J. Wilson - Sam Murphy"
"Steve Bisley - Graeme Prowse"
"Anita Cerdic - Domenica Baroni"
"Santo Cilauro - Geoffrey Salter"
"Chris Lilley – Jonah Takalua, Mr G (Helen 'Greg' Gregson) and Ja'mie King"
"Essie Davis as The Honorable Phryne Fisher"
"Nathan Page as Detective Inspector Jack Robinson"
"Ashleigh Cummings as Dorothy "Dot" Williams"
"Hugo Johnstone-Burt as Constable Hugh Collins"
"Richard Bligh as Mr Tobias Butler, Phryne's butler"
"Travis McMahon as Bert Johnson"
"Anthony Sharpe as Cecil "Cec" Yates"
"Tammy MacIntosh as Dr. Elizabeth "Mac" Macmillan"
"Miriam Margolyes as Prudence Stanley"
"Sally Preisig/Emma Weaver as Bella (1999-2000; 2000-2002)"
"Bob Golding as Milo"
"Colleen Daley as Fizz"
"Justin Fletcher as Jake"
"Paul Sonkkila - Jock Brennan (Main: series 1; Also starring: series 2)"
"Sean Scully - Ian "Goose" Cochrane"
"Andy Anderson - Lochie Renford (series 1)"
"Peter Cummins - Superintendent Wallace"
"Simon Westaway - Peter "Noddy" Faithful"
"Nell Feeney - Megan Edwards (series 1)"
"Susie Edmonds - Carol Cochrane"
"Tony Poli - Lazarus "Laz" Carides (series 1)"
"Stuart McCreery - Adrian Moon (series 2)"
"David Bradshaw - Andrew "Fluff" Saunders (Also starring: series 1; Main: series 2)"
"Jennifer Jarman-Walker - Cath Darby (series 2)"
"Vikki Blanche - Chris Faithful (series 2)"
"Kevin Summers - Colin Toohey (series 1)"
"Dominic Sweeney - Wheels (series 1)"
"George Vidalis - Mick (series 1)"
"Todd Telford - Dennis (series 1)"
"Patrick Ward - Blazo (series 1)"
"Nicholas Politis - Nick (series 1)"
"Peter McCauley - Lew Murdoch (series 2)"
"David Roberts - Robert Howie (series 2)"
"Keith Agius - Anthony "Docket" Luciano (series 2)"
"Bob Halsall - Boomer (series 2)"
"Russell Fletcher - Kermie (series 2)"
"Greg Scealey - Fish (series 2)"
"Jeremy Kewley - Vic Manoulis"
"Chris Haywood - Michael Kidd"
"Felix Nobis - Rob Griffin"
"Paulene Terry-Beitz - Shirl Hennessey"
"Louise Siversen - Glenda De Bono"
"Brett Swain - Mal Hennessey"
"Belinda McClory - Kirsty Nicholls"
"Leon Teague - Steve Hennessey"
"Tracy Mann - Tina Bertram"
"Victoria Eagger - Rhonda Hennessey"
"Nique Needles - Darren Mack"
"Jane Menelaus - Jenny Hanson"