107 quotes found
"Life's a fragile thing, Harr. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, and the next minute you're dead meat."
"Hey. Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? [makes a loud, weird noise]"
"[pretends to promote Turbo Lax] One half teaspoon, for fast, effective relief."
"[after dumping Turbo Lax in Harry's tea] To my friend, Harry... the matchmaker."
"(about a passing woman at the preservation society) I'd like to eat her liver with some "farver" beans and a nice bottle of chianti! [he and Harry imitate Hannibal Lecter]"
"Mary, I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy."
"[deleted scene] Let me ask you something. Do you want to end up like Petey? Dead? In some flea-ridden apartment? Face down in your own droppings? A soggy sunflower seed pressed against your beak? Come on, Harry! Don't you see what Petey was trying to say to you? You got to take life by the balls! Chew it up and spit it out! Dance to the tune of a different drummer! Spread your wings and fly and run and jump! God, help me!"
"Yeah, I'm heading to Aspen myself. Maybe we could meet up and have some hot chocolate."
"You know, Lloyd, just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!"
"[to Mary, while looking at a pair of owls] Nice set of hooters you got there."
"What the one doesn't have, the other is missing."
"For Harry and Lloyd every day is a no-brainer."
"Jim Carrey — Lloyd Christmas"
"Jeff Daniels — Harry Dunne"
"Lauren Holly — Mary Swanson"
"Mike Starr — Joe 'Mental' Mentaliano"
"Karen Duffy — J.P. Shay"
"Charles Rocket — Nicholas Andre"
"Victoria Rowell — FBI Special Agent Beth Jordan"
"I know all seven animal styles: The crane, the stag, the horse, the tiger, the bat, the rat, the monkey, the Beatle [imitates Ringo Starr]. I will take you."
"[Telling Wayne what people might say if he mentions Jim Morrison on the show] Look, there's Garth, and his friend Wayne...the psychopath."
"[At Mikita's, the doughnut shop] And there I am in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at three o' clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&M's to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door and mentions there's a little sweetshop on the edge of town. So, we go, and - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby breaking into this little sweetshop right? Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. Well I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son, that's a different story altogether... I had to beat them to death with their own shoes... Nasty business really... But sure enough, I got the M&M's and Ozzy went on stage and did a GREAT show." [everyone in donut shop claps]"
"Mike Myers as Wayne Campbell"
"Dana Carvey as Garth Algar"
"Tia Carrere as Cassandra Wong"
"Christopher Walken as Bobby Cahn"
"Kevin Pollak as Jerry Segel"
"Ralph Brown as Del Preston"
"James Hong as Jeff Wong"
"Kim Basinger as Honey Hornée"
"Jim Downey as the dubbed voice of Jeff Wong"
"Chris Farley as Milton"
"Ed O'Neill as Glen"
"Michael A. Nickles as Jim Morrison"
"Larry Sellers as The Naked Indian"
"Frank DiLeo as Frankie "Mr. Big" Sharp"
"Lee Tergesen as Terry, Wayne and Garth's bud"
"Scott Coffey as a heavy metaller"
"Drew Barrymore as Bjergen Kjergen"
"Olivia d'Abo as Betty Jo"
"Charlton Heston as the "good actor" gas station attendant who replaces the "bad actor" Al Hansen"
"Jay Leno as Himself"
"Heather Locklear as Herself"
"Ted McGinley as "Mr. Scream""
"Tim Meadows as Sammy Davis, Jr."
"Robert Smigel and Bob Odenkirk as nerds backstage at the concert"
"Bobby Slayton as the Watermelon Guy"
"Harry Shearer as "Handsome Dan""
"Rip Taylor as Himself"
"Steven Tyler as Himself (lead vocalist of Aerosmith)"
"Joe Perry as Himself (lead guitarist of Aerosmith)"
"Brad Whitford as Himself (rhythm guitarist of Aerosmith)"
"Tom Hamilton as Himself (bassist of Aerosmith)"
"Joey Kramer as Himself (drummer of Aerosmith)"
"Rich Fulcher as Garth's body double when they "travel to London""
"WPIG 95.7 as the Aurora radio station"
"They perform for royalty and entertain millions the world over. But now, they’re making a movie."
"You say you want a revolution?"
"They Don’t Just Sing!"
"Five girls. Five days. One rocking world!"
"You see, fear is a fighter's best friend. You know, but it ain't nothing to be ashamed of. See, fear keeps you sharp, it keeps you awake, you know, it makes you want to survive. You know what I mean? But the thing is, you gotta learn how to control it. All right? 'Cause fear is like this fire, all right? And it's burning deep inside. Now, if you control it, Tommy, it's gonna make you hot. But, you see, if this thing here, it controls you, it's gonna burn you and everything else around you up. That's right, you know?"
"Sylvester Stallone - Rocky Balboa"
"Talia Shire - Adrian Pennino"
"Burt Young - Paulie Pennino"
"Burgess Meredith - Mickey Goldmill (in flashbacks)"
"Tommy Morrison - Tommy "The Machine" Gunn"
"Richard Gant - George Washington Duke"
"Paul Micale - Father Carmine"
"Hey, assholes!"
"This is what I call the speech, kid. It's the only one I got and I only give it once, so pay attention. 'Til now, it's all been fun and games. "Cops and robbers," Dunkin Donuts. But you're in the shit now. Metro Command is a war zone."
"[after riding in a limo with Big Willie's thugs, who smoke heavily] You know, you guys really gotta cut down..."
"Okay, pussyface, it’s your move!"
"Shit... why can't this guy stay on the ground?"
"[after killing the Predator, he finds himself surrounded by others] Okay... who's next?"
"Tony Pope, live with Hardcore, on the scene and in your face! it's like Dante's Hell down here - smoke, fire, oppressive heat - as Columbian and Jamaican drug fiends once again transform the streets of L.A. into a slaughterhouse! Who the hell's in charge down here?! The cops? Uh-uh! They're outmanned, outgunned, and incompetent! Mr. Mayor, on vacation at your home in Lake Tahoe: get off your butt, get down here, and declare martial law!"
"This is Tony Pope, live from L.A., the city of fear, where the psycho vigilante killer continues his daily diet for murder. Bodies strung out! Bodies with the skins ripped off! The hearts torn from the cadavers! And just recently, King Willie, the drug lord, the vicious drug lord, found in an alley just around the corner with his head cut off, and his spinal column torn from the body - a fitting demise to the Prince of Powder."
"Broad concept's the same. The difference is, this is a different individual. A different individual of the same species. As is a snake is a snake, but different snakes are different. Their colorings are different, different parts of their characteristics, their facial structures, subtle differences."
"Pull over, park, and pray."
"Lions! Tigers! Bears! Oh my!"
"He's in town with a few days to kill."
"Silent. Invisible. Invincible. He's in town with a few days to kill."
"Hunting season opens again..."
"The Ultimate Hunter."
"This time he's coming to a different kind of jungle."
"Silent. Invisible. Invincible. The Ultimate Hunter. This Time... Los Angeles, 1997."
"Kevin Peter Hall - The Predator"
"Danny Glover - Lieutenant Mike Harrigan"
"Gary Busey - Peter Keyes"
"María Conchita Alonso - Leona Cantrell"
"Ruben Blades - Danny Archuleta"
"Bill Paxton - Jerry Lambert"
"I dealt with pain by causing pain. No, no... Ex that out. It is a ridiculous notion. That personal pain causes one man to injure another... To protect Germany. An act of self defense. To punish the German nation for undermining my charisma. To guarantee my singular place in history. To take their breath away... The broad-sweeping historical gesture. As the dream of conquest faded, the SS needed a new mission to sustain vitality. To brand the German people with this crime for all time. To add my chapter to the history of the chosen people. Their eternity is my eternity. My final enigmatic act. My postwar surprise to the world."
"Norman Rodway as Adolf Hitler"
"Joel Grey as Joseph Goebbels"
"Camilla Søeberg as Eva Braun"
"Peter Michael Goetz as Sigmund Freud"
"Doug McKeon as The Typist"
"Glenn Shadix as Hermann Göring"
"Hope Allen as Woman in Black"
"Lori Scott as Floating Female Spirit"
"Raul Kobrinsky as Jailer"
"Sarah Benoit as White Nurse"
"John Paul Jones as Extremely Large Man"
"Alan Richards as Odd-Looking Man"
"Adolf Hitler as Himself (archive footage)"
"Heinrich Himmler as Himself (archive footage)"
"Joseph Stalin as Himself (archive footage)"