151 quotes found
"[repeated line; screams bloody murder] WHAT'S HAPPENI-I-I-I-I-ING?!?!?!?!"
"I can't eat jackass meat without ketchup!"
"I'm not Amy Carter. I have to work for a living."
"(on school) All you have to remember is listen for the bell. The first time the bell rings, you sit down. The second time the bell rings, you stand up. In between, that's the teacher's problem."
"If you lay one hand on me, I'll tell Mama and report you to the child abuse center. They'll put your picture on 60 Minutes and Mike Wallace will hate you until you die."
"[repeated line; to Raj or anyone else] Ooooh, I'm tellin' Mama."
"Who knows? After this one...who knows what could be next. You could become President of the United States. Mom would be the first lady and I could be Amy."
"Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh awn"
"[repeated line] Hey, HEY, hey!"
"If you don't tell me who sprung the leak, you'll be expelled for at least a week. -Nipsey Russell on The Match Game"
"Dee: (reading the underground newspaper) "Principal Bradley smells badly." You're gonna get in trouble from Mama."
"Roger: How is Mama gonna find out?"
"Dee: She knows me."
"Mama: I'm gonna be the oldest one there, and you know they're gonna laugh at me."
"Dee: Look, you're the oldest one here and you don't see us laughing."
"Roger: Mama, she's a good teacher."
"Rerun: No, she's not, and I'm gonna fail again. All she ever puts on her tests are questions."
"Roger: Miss Collins? Would you keep an eye on my mother? Go easy on her because she hasn't studied in years."
"Miss Collins: Oh? Then she and Rerun have a lot in common."
"Philip: (meeting the boys for the first time) Welcome, Gentlemen!"
"Willis: (confused, looking behind them) You talking to US?"
"Philip: Of course."
"Arnold: How 'bout that, Willis? Downtown 2 minutes and already we're gentlemen."
"Arnold: Willis, why do we have to go back to Harlem? Why can't we stay here?"
"Willis: 'Cause we miss Harlem!"
"Arnold: Yeah, and I wanna miss Harlem for the rest of my natural life."
"Willis: Come on, Arnold. (to Mr. Drummond) we still leave in the morning."
"Philip: Arnold, you don't really wanna leave, do you?"
"Arnold: No, but I gotta, without me, Willis is nothin'!"
"Kimberly: Oh, daddy, please don't let them leave!"
"Philip: (punishing Arnold) Arnold, I'm afraid there's just one solution. This calls for a spanking."
"Arnold: A spanking? There ain't enough of me to spank."
"Arnold: (finishing his donut) Mrs. Garrett, can I have a donut?"
"Edna: But you just had one, Arnold!"
"Arnold: How come I had a donut, that thing was 10% donut and 90% hole."
"Arnold: Hey, Willis, let's go out in the schoolyard and shoot some baskets!"
"Willis: Arnold, I said, let me be!"
"Arnold: Come on! Hey Willis?"
"Willis: What? (basketball comes to him) Arnold, I don't wanna play basketball, here! (knocking over the clock) Now you done it, you, dumbhead! Why didn't you reach out and grab the ball?"
"Arnold: I tried, but I got a short reacher."
"Edna: What was that?"
"Kimberly: What was the crack?"
"Edna: Anybody hurt?"
"Arnold: No, we're fine, but it ain't the clock's finest hour."
"Edna: Oh, good lord! You know you're not supposed to play basketball in the living room!"
"Willis: Boy, Mr. D's gonna give it to us!"
"Edna: When Mr. Drummond finds out, you're gonna be the Spank-E!"
"Philip: So long, family, I'm off to play tennis!"
"Edna: Uh..."
"Philip: What happened to the clock?"
"Willis: I broke it Mr. D, it was all my fault"
"Arnold: No, I did."
"Willis: Now, move it around like this!"
"Kimberly: You're a terrific dancer, Willis!"
"Willis: Thanks, but in Harlem, we think we could consider this walking!"
"Arnold: Hey, Willis. Wanna play some basketball?"
"Willis: No!"
"Arnold: What's that supposed to be?"
"Willis: Get lost, Arnold, I'm teaching Kimberly how to dance!"
"Arnold: Dancin'? All you're doing are wigglin' your behinds!"
"Kimberly: Please, Arnold, we're practicing!"
"Willis: Arnold, I need to teach Kimberly how to dance so she go on to the TV's dance show."
"Arnold: Aw, that ain't hot dude, watch some grooves, by the man with moves! Oooooeee! I'm gettin' the Saturday Night Fever!"
"Kimberly: Oooooh! Looks like we're havin' a Friday Night Fit!"
"Willis: Arnold! (turns off jukebox) Get lost, Arnold, we don't have time for you now!"
"Arnold: You never have time for me anymore! Soul brother and sister!"
"Edna: Dinner will be served in an hour, Miss Waters. I hope this will hold you 'til then, I...(shrieks)"
"Myrtle: What's the matter with you woman, you're crazy!"
"Philip: Arnold what are you doing? Come down here!"
"Arnold: Yes sir."
"Philip: Willis, are you in on this?"
"Willis: Before I tell you, can I call my attorney?"
"Edna: Oh, why did you boys do that? You scared me half to death!"
"Myrtle: It didn't do nothin' to my sandwich either!"
"Philip: What in the world has gotten into you, that was a terrible thing to do!"
"Willis: Mr. Drummond, we weren't tryin' to scare Mrs. Garrett, we wanted to scare Cousin Myrtle!"
"Philip: Why?"
"Arnold: So, she'd jump off the chair and through the ceilin'!"
"Willis: We think Cousin Myrtle is faking about her neck, and we don't want any guys of you rippin' you off!"
"Philip: Well, I am shocked with your behavior! You could have hurt Mrs. Garrett! Now, I want you both to apologize to her! Go on, I mean it!"
"Willis: We apologize Mrs. Garrett."
"Arnold: I'm sorry."
"Edna: Oh, you don't have to apologize to me boys!"
"Willis: OK, we unapologize."
"Edna: Mr. Drummond, can't you see, the boys were just tryin' to protect you."
"Philip: Well, I can protect myself! I oughta ground you two for a whole month! No television, no stereo, no movies!"
"Arnold: Just ground us, don't end our lives!"
"Myrtle: Wait a minute! Mr. Drummond, wait a minute! Don't punish them! I'm the one who should apologize! Don't take it out on the boys. They were only protecting you."
"Philip: Uh-oh! Your teacher says, until your grades improve, you're off the basketball team!"
"Willis: Say what?"
"Kimberly: That's not fair, daddy!"
"Arnold: Why, is that a croc!"
"Willis: They can't do that to me, I'm the team captain!"
"Philip: But the only way you're gonna get back on the team is to get your grades up."
"Vernon: Oh no, Arnold!"
"Willis: You ruined my pictures!"
"Arnold: I didn't know you were in the bathroom!"
"Willis: Can't you stay out of my business?"
"Arnold: I got business my own to do in there!"
"Arnold: Come on, fish! Come on, take that bait! Come on, fish! I'm waitin' Ah, here we are, I got a big one, a big one!"
"Willis: Hello hello!"
"Arnold: It's the creature from the black lagoon!"
"Edna: Looks like he'll need a harpoon for this one, Arnold!"
"Willis: Got everything I need to go to Portland! Got my water skis, my diver's suit, my snorkel, and my flippers!"
"Arnold: You only need one more thing."
"Willis: What's that?"
"Arnold: You need to learn how to swim!"
"Willis: Come on, blood. You know I know how to swim good now!"
"Arnold: No you don't!"
"Edna: Boys, boys! Boys, cool it! Stop acting like brothers!"
"Kimberly: Hey everybody, how do you like my new bathing suit?"
"Arnold: Where is the rest of it?"
"Willis: That's it, it's a bikini!"
"Edna: You look darlin', Kimberly!"
"Kimberly: Thank you, Mrs. Garrett!"
"Philip: Listen gang uh... Say, that's a nice bathing suit you're almost wearing!"
"Kimberly: Well, it was a choice between this and a one-piece!"
"Philip: I'm glad you took both pieces!"
"Arnold: 5 hours, what kinda train are we goin' on?"
"Philip: Oh, we're not goin' on a train!"
"Arnold: They got jet buses now?"
"Philip: Arnold, we're gonna fly."
"Arnold: Whatchoo talkin' bout Mr. D?"
"Philip: We're gonna fly there, that's the quickest way!"
"Kimberly: (indicates Arnold) He's a junk food junkie. He's a human garbage disposal."
"Aunt Sophia: Arnold, I'm shocked. Don't you know what you are to eat?"
"Arnold: (frowns at Aunt Sophia) You mean to tell me that I happen to be a 49-pound Twinkie?!"
"Conrad Bain as Phillip Drummond"
"Gary Coleman as Arnold Jackson"
"Todd Bridges as Willis Jackson"
"Dana Plato as Kimberly Drummond (1978–1984, 1985–1986 recurring)"
"Charlotte Rae as Edna Garrett (1978–1979)"
"Nedra Volz as Adelaide Brubaker (1980–1982)"
"Janet Jackson as Charlene DuPrey (1980–1984 recurring)"
"Dody Goodman as Aunt Sophia (1981–1982 recurring)"
"Shavar Ross as Dudley Ramsey (1980–1986 recurring)"
"Le Tari as Ted Ramsey (1981–1985 recurring)"
"Mary Jo Catlett as Pearl Gallagher (1982–1986)"
"Rosalind Chao as Miss Chung (1982–1983 recurring)"
"Steven Mond as Robbie Jason (1980–1985)"
"Nikki Swasey as Lisa Hayes (1982–1986 recurring)"
"Dixie Carter & Mary Ann Mobley as Maggie McKinney Drummond (1984–1986)"
"Danny Cooksey as Sam McKinney (1984–1986)"
"Jason Hervey as Charlie (1985–1986 recurring)"
"Sophia (Phillip's elder sister)"
"Lydia (Phillip's 1st wife & Kimberly's mother, deceased)"
"Maggie McKinney (Phillip's 2nd wife & Sam's mother)"
"Kimberly (Phillip's daughter with Lydia)"
"Willis Jackson (adopted son)"
"Arnold Jackson (adopted son)"
"Sam McKinney (stepson; father is Maggie's ex-husband Wes)"