14 quotes found
"I know who I am! I'm a dude playing a dude, disguised as another dude! You a dude who don't know what dude he is."
"[as Simple Jack] Goodbye Momma! Now you can have ice cream in heaven! I'll see you tonight when I go to bed, in my head movies. But this head movie makes my eyes rain!"
"[incensed at Flaming Dragon's demands] Okay, Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. First, take a big step back... and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again. Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP! [hangs up; to assistant] Find out who that was."
"Ben Stiller - Tugg Speedman"
"Jack Black - Jeff Portnoy"
"Robert Downey Jr. - Kirk Lazarus"
"Nick Nolte - John "Four Leaf" Tayback"
"Steve Coogan - Damien Cockburn"
"Jay Baruchel - Kevin Sandusky"
"Danny McBride - Cody Underwood"
"Brandon T. Jackson - Alpa Chino"
"Bill Hader - Rob Slolom"
"Matthew McConaughey - Rick "Pecker" Peck"
"Tom Cruise - Les Grossman"