33 quotes found
"Look at these earrings! I'll be the envy of every girl at prom. Not like that was in jeopardy or anything."
"You're the only boy that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. Karlie TC sucks!"
"(crying) Somebody shit in the locker."
"(after kissing April) I am so lesbian right now."
"(to Jake while calling for April) Too late dude, she's with me right now. She says that my peepee's way bigger than yours. And that's if I fold it in half"
"(after Jake insults April)You asshole!(Jake and Billy give him a weird look) Whoever left these towels here is an asshole."
"This is by far, the worst day of my life."
"I have to get to the little girls room before I soak my panties!"
"And for me, a screaming orgasm on the beach with extra sugar around the rim, YUM! (the bartender gives him an odd look) Better make that last one a Brewsky... Double Brewsky."
"Ooooh check out the sweet buns on that guy! I'd like to get my hands on those...(trails off as he notices the macho bartender glaring at him, and then continues)...and wish they were womens' breasts. I'd squeeze the hell out of 'em. Maybe put a steak on 'em. Cause I'm a GUY. And that's what GUYS like me LIKE TO DO!"
"You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. Get a new conditioner, your ends are totally split!"
"(walking into the bathroom after turning into Jessica) WHERE'S MY...?"
"(after stealing a box of tampons) I gotta do WHAT??"
"I'll make you a deal. You just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, ok, then I'll give you your body back because it's soooo important to you. (mockingly) Waa, waa, I'm crying about my body! And then you can loan it to me every other weekend so I can pay off some gambling debts."
"Come on, it's not every day that your best friend grows a penis."
"The hottest chick in town just switched bodies with the luckiest loser in the world."
"Rob Schneider - Clive Maxtone/Jessica Spencer"
"Rachel McAdams - Jessica Spencer/Clive Maxtone"
"Anna Faris - April"
"Matthew Lawrence - Billy"
"Eric Christian Olsen - Jake"
"Michael O'Keefe - Richie Spencer"
"Melora Hardin - Carol Spencer"
"Alexandra Holden - Lulu"
"Maria-Elena Laas - Bianca"
"Maritza Murray - Keesha "Ling-Ling" Jackson"
"Jodi Long - Keesha's Mom"
"Matt Weinberg - Booger Spencer"
"Angie Stone - Madame Mambuza"
"Sam Doumit - Eden"
"Megan Kuhlmann - Hildenburg"
"Ashlee Simpson - Monique"
"Adam Sandler - Mambuza Bongo Player"